Diapers Quotes - Page 5

• I learned how to change a cloth diaper on a raccoon, i was maybe 8 or 9.

  Nikki Reed

  Change, Raccoons

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• There's no better way to unplug than having children. Changing diapers is one of the most leveling things that has ever happened to me.

  Andrew Lincoln

  Children, Way, Happened

  Source: deadline.com

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• When I knew I was going to be able to write full time, I wondered, "What's going to happen to the relationships within my family?" Are they going to change? Is it going to be the kind of deal where you say, "I can't take this! Get me out of here! I can't stand these screaming kids!" The way it turned out was, I was able to change the diapers okay, after I stuck the pin through my fingers a few times. I had a dawning realization that children are not particularly hard to deal with.

  Stephen King

  Children, Writing, Kids

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• You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled-up newspaper?

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Funny, Baby, Kids

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• A diaper is as inspiring as a drink.

  Rufus Wainwright

  Drink

  Source: www.motherjones.com

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• When I start getting old, I'm going to start ending my prayers like, "Lord, it'd be a good day to die." I don't wanna be 130 years old with a diaper on, all my friends dead and gone. I wanna get to heaven, come get me!

  Suge Knight

  Prayer, Good Day, Years

  "Suge Knight Talks About Freedom, Tha Row And Who Killed Tupac". Interview with Chris Connelly, www.mtv.com. August 9, 2001.

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• O God, I confess I am not worthy to rock that little babe or wash its diapers, or to be entrusted with the care of a child and its mother. How is it that I without any merit have come to this distinction of being certain that I am serving thy creature and thy most precious will? Oh, how gladly will I do so. Though the duty should be even more insignificant and despised, neither frost nor heat, neither drudgery nor labor will distress me for I am certain that it is thus pleasing in thy sight.

  Elisabeth Elliot

  Mother, Children, Rocks

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• We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a landfill, 'He wants his mother.'

  Erma Bombeck

  Mother, Children, Daddy

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• Suddenly we have a baby who poops and cries, and we are trying to calm, clean up, and pin things together all at once. Then as fast as we learn to cope--so soon--it is hard to recall why diapers ever seemed so important. The frontiers change, and now perhaps we have a teenager we can't reach.

  Polly Berrien Berends

  Baby, Teenager, Important

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• I love the smell of diapers; I even like when they're wet and you smell them all warm like a baked good. I love the smell of Balmex. Love it.

  Sarah Jessica Parker

  Good Love, Smell, Stupid Celebrity

  "Sarah Jessica Parker" by Sarah Bernard, www.elle.com. November 5, 2009.

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• Of all the questions I'm asked, the most difficult is, "How does it feel to be famous?" Since I'm not, that question always catches me with a feeling of surrealism....I've got three kids and I've changed all their diapers, and when it's two o'clock in the morning and you're changing something that's sort of special delivery with one eye open and one eye shut you don't feel famous.

  Stephen King

  Morning, Kids, Eye

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• I guess in all of the obvious ways. I can afford more diapers for my children. If I want to buy a complete set of Garbage Pail Kids on Ebay I don't have to ask my wife so hard. For the most part, it's mostly the same. I keep my head down and I just work on comics for most of the time.

  Robert Kirkman

  Children, Kids, Ebay

  Source: collider.com

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• I actually enjoyed changing diapers and I enjoyed swaddling. I don't mind being swaddled either, on occasion.

  Jason Bateman

  Mind, Occasions, Enjoyed

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• I have two kids in diapers and a cat whose litter box I clean out. I deal with an awful lot of crap.

  George W. Buck

  Cat, Kids, Two

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• I'm not saying looting is good, ... But I'm saying surely at a time when your child needs diapers and you need food, when does looting stop.

  Bill Cosby

  Children, Doe, Needs

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• The first time I tried to put a new diaper on my baby, I yanked the little Velcro strap too jerkily and actually punched the little guy in the jaw. A real solid shot, too. I knew instinctively that this could not be correct. Unless you're specifically trying to raise a welterweight, continual deliverance of powerful uppercuts is not advised when handling newborns.

  Paul Reiser

  Baby, Powerful, Real

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• I felt so proud to be having a baby and so excited. And I felt closer to other women - to my sisters, to my mom. I felt empowered, like, 'I've given birth. I did it! There's nothing I can't handle.' I've really enjoyed this time that I have taken to be with Suri, as well as the challenges of the first couple of months: feeding and pumping, learning to decipher what each cry means - is she hungry? Is she tired? Does she need a fresh diaper? - and figuring out how to really help her.

  Katie Holmes

  Mom, Baby, Couple

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• He felt around desperately for a weapon. What did he have? Diapers? Cookies? Oh, why hadn't they given him a sword? He was the stupid warrior, wasn't he? His fingers dug in the leather bag and closed around the root beer can. Root beer! He yanked out the can shaking it with all his might. "Attack! Attack!" he yelled.

  Suzanne Collins

  Stupid, Beer, Warrior

  Suzanne Collins (2011). “Gregor the Overlander Collection:”, p.119, Scholastic Inc.

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• But playing your music as loud as you want and coming home drunk aren't real life. Real life, it turns out, is diapers and lawnmowers, decks that need painting, a wife that needs to be listened to, kids that need to be taught right from wrong, a checkbook, an oil change, a sunset behind a mountain, laughter at a kitchen table, too much wine, a chipped tooth, and a screaming child.

  Donald Miller

  Laughter, Children, Real

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• We in the Western world suffer from too many categories and classes; we've forgotten that we all still have diapers on. We've separated music from life.

  Ornette Coleman

  Music, Class, Suffering

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• The incarnation is “a kind of vast joke whereby the Creator of the ends of the earth comes among us in diapers Until we too have taken the idea of the God-man seriously enough to be scandalized by it, we have not taken it as seriously as it demands to be taken.

  Frederick Buechner

  Taken, Men, Ideas

  Frederick Buechner, Lee Boltin (1974). “The life of Jesus”, Gramercy

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• So: this is where we are going to become parents. You walk into the building as a couple, and leave a few minutes later as a family. You walk in recollecting long romantic dinners, nights at the theater, and care-free vacations. You leave worrying about where to get diapers, milk, and Cheerios.

  Scott Simon

  Couple, Vacation, Night

  Scott Simon (2010). “Baby, We Were Meant for Each Other: In Praise of Adoption”, p.9, Random House

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• Literature simply becomes richer after you've been fired, rejected, stranded, or had to change a few midnight diapers.

  Christian Bauman

  Change, Writing, Persistence

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• It's sad but true that if you focus your attention on housework and meal preparation and diapers, raising children does start to look like drudgery pretty quickly. On the other hand, if you see yourself as nothing less than your child's nurturer, role model, teacher, spiritual guide, and mentor, your days take on a very different cast.

  Joyce Maynard

  Spiritual, Teacher, Children

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• You may be asking yourself, 'Am I the right type of person to go to this rally?' The fact that you would even stop to ask yourself that question, as opposed to, let's say, just jumping up, grabbing the nearest stack of burnable holy books, strapping on a diaper and pointing your car towards D.C. -- that means I think you just might be right for it.

  Jon Stewart

  Book, Mean, Thinking

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