Fake Quotes - Page 12

• Retarded kids are the best. When they ask for an autograph I just fake sign a picture and tell them that it's in invisible ink and it will show up later. They totally buy it. It saves me a fortune in markers.

  Zach Braff

  Kids, Ink, Invisible

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• Compared to my talents, Whoopi Goldberg is like one of those fake plastic Buddhas you get at dollar stores. I mean really, I fail to see the humor in an overweight negro woman with dreadlocks, no eyebrows, and is named after a childish term for flatulence.

  Zach Braff

  Mean, Eyebrows, Dollars

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• You need to be a little crazy to change the world, and you can’t really fake it.

  Peter Diamandis

  Crazy, Needs, World

  Peter H. Diamandis, Steven Kotler (2012). “Abundance: The Future Is Better Than You Think”, p.233, Simon and Schuster

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• If you fake the funk, your nose will grow.

  Bootsy Collins

  Funny, Music, Song

  "Journalists must stop being in denial: bloggers are here to stay" by John Naughton, www.theguardian.com. May 28, 2005.

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• In some roles I have to wear fur, and I always make sure it's fake, like in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. Faux fur is great because it shows people that faux can look fabulous.

  Kristen Johnston

  People, Spy, Fabulous

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• You can't fake authenticity.

  Mark Schaefer

  Marketing, Helpful, Authenticity

  Mark Schaefer (2014). “The Tao of Twitter, Revised and Expanded New Edition: Changing Your Life and Business 140 Characters at a Time”, p.77, McGraw Hill Professional

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• With Los Angeles, it's kind of a love-hate thing. Sometimes I think it's marvelous, and sometimes I think it's a dump. It's so fake and I can't deal with how fake it is.

  Joe Elliott

  Hate, Thinking, Kind

  "How to travel like a rock star". Interview with Doug Miller, www.nbcnews.com. January 23, 2008.

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• The art of life is to show your hand. There is no diplomacy like candor. You may lose by it now and then, but it will be a loss well gained if you do. Nothing is so boring as having to keep up a deception.

  E. V. Lucas

  Life, Art, Loss

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• In 1986, our commencement speaker was George Schultz, secretary of state, fourth in line to the president. You get me-basic cable's second most popular fake newsman. At this rate, the class of 2021 will be addressed by a zoo parrot in a mortar-board that has been trained to say "congratulations.

  Stephen Colbert

  Zoos, Congratulations, Class

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• A bully hides his fears with fake bravado. That is the opposite of self-assertiveness.

  Nathaniel Branden

  Self, Opposites, Bully

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• Fake it, you will make it. But you have to believe it.

  Harbhajan Singh Yogi

  Inspirational, Believe, Bhajans

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• People often find it easier to refute a fake extreme opponent than a more cautious real one, so they knock down the straw man instead. It is actually worth the trouble to identify the invalid forms of argument, and to learn their names. Not only can you then avoid them yourself; you can also identify them in opponents. If you call your opponent's errors by their Latin names, you can make it look as though he or she is suffering from a rare tropical disease.

  Madsen Pirie

  Real, Latin, Men

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• I've gotta believe in what my heart tells in me, even if it's a fake thing.

  Andrew Hussie

  Believe, Heart, Ifs

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• I am totally against plastic surgery. A lot of people think I have breast implants because I have the biggest boobs in the business. But I was a 34C when I was 17...They stay up when I wear a push-up bra. But if people could see me when I come home and take off my bra, how could they think these are fake?

  Tyra Banks

  Home, Thinking, People

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• President Obama announced his re-election campaign, though it’s not really a surprise. He did all the things that make it official: He filed the paperwork, redesigned his website, and printed another fake birth certificate.

  Craig Ferguson

  President, Campaigns, Election

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• Don't fake it till you make it. Fake it till you become it.

  Amy Cuddy

  Motivation, Inspiration, Psychology

  Amy Cuddy (2015). “Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges”, Hachette UK

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• Like most authors, I'm a raging egomaniac. I know that about myself. And I know that, if I had internet access, I would waste countless hours looking up things about myself, writing fake posts about how great I am and arguing with people who don't like my work. It saves me a lot of time and frustration to just stay out of the loop.

  Bentley Little

  Writing, Frustration, Internet Access

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• Exceptions to the traditions of dumpy dignity and fake learnedness in law review writing are as rare as they are beautiful. Once in a while a Thomas Reed Powell gets away with an imaginary judicial opinion that gives a real twist to the lion's tail. Once in a while a Thurman Arnold forgets his footnotes as though to say that if people do not believe or understand him that is their worry and not his. But even such mild breaches of etiquette as these are tolerated gingerly and seldom, and are likely to be looked at a little askance by the writers' more pious brethren.

  Fred Rodell

  Beautiful, Real, Believe

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• A tennis racket makes a great fake guitar!

  Isaac

  Guitar, Tennis, Racket

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• My name is not Mara Dyer, but my lawyer told me I had to choose something. A pseudonym. A nom de plume, for all of us studying for the SATs. I know that having a fake name is strange, but trust me-it's the most normal thing about my life right now. Even telling you this much probably isn't smart. But without my big mouth, no one would know that a seventeen-year-old who likes Death Cab for Cutie was responsible for the murders. No one would know that somewhere out there is a B student with a body count. And it's important that you know, so you're not next.

  Michelle Hodkin

  Smart, Years, Names

  Michelle Hodkin (2012). “The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer”, p.6, Simon and Schuster

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• Beware of a man with manners.

  Eudora Welty

  Fake People, Men, Manners

  Eudora Welty (1956). “The Golden Apples”, p.14, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• It only takes a politician believing in what he says for the others to stop believing him.

  Jean Baudrillard

  Birthday, Fake People, Believe

  Jean Baudrillard (1990). “Cool Memories”, p.215, Verso

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• The third time you say a thing it sounds like a lie.

  Harrison Ford

  Fake People, Lying, Sound

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• A man nearly always loves for other reasons than he thinks. A lover is apt to be as full of secrets from himself as is the object of his love from him.

  Ben Hecht

  Fake People, Men, Thinking

  Ben Hecht (1954). “A child of the century”, Signet

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• TV is a fickle business. I'm only good for the length of my contract.

  Tom Brokaw

  Fake People, Fickle, Television

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