The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
I don't know whether I prefer Astroturf to grass. I never smoked Astroturf.
I have 2 weapons; my arms, my legs and my brain.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it.
Football is easy if you're crazy as hell.
Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport.
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.
You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four.
If my mother put on a helmet and shoulder pads and a uniform that wasn't the same as the one I was wearing, I'd run over her if she was in my way. And I love my mother.
Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck.
Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.
Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?
Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally.
We can't run. We can't pass. We can't stop the run. We can't stop the pass. We can't kick. Other than that, we're just not a very good football team right now.
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
When I went to Catholic high school in Philadelphia, we just had one coach for football and basketball. He took all of us who turned out and had us run through a forest. The ones who ran into the trees were on the football team.
I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.
If you're mad at your kid, you can either raise him to be a nose tackle or send him out to play on the freeway. It's about the same.
When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anyone deliberately - unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something.
I feel like I'm the best, but you're not going to get me to say that.
I like to believe that my best hits border on felonious assault.
Most football players are temperamental. That's 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental.
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