Funny American Football Quotes

• 

  The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

  Phyllis Diller

  Football, Motivational Sports, Inspiration

  96 Copy quote

• It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Motivational

  Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.53, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

  97 Copy quote

  Show source

• I don't know whether I prefer Astroturf to grass. I never smoked Astroturf.

  Joe Namath

  Soccer, Nfl Football, Inspirational Football

  51 Copy quote

• I have 2 weapons; my arms, my legs and my brain.

  Michael Vick

  Funny, Football, Nfl

  14 Copy quote

• Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it.

  Woody Hayes

  Football, Jail, Funny Sports

  52 Copy quote

• We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

  Vince Lombardi

  Sarcastic, Sports, Football

  85 Copy quote

• Football is easy if you're crazy as hell.

  Bo Jackson

  Sports, Football, Crazy

  Bo Jackson, Dick Schaap (1990). “Bo knows Bo: the autobiography of a ballplayer”, Doubleday Books

  18 Copy quote

  Show source

• Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport.

  Vince Lombardi

  Motivational, Dance, Sports

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  19 Copy quote

  Show source

• Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

  Erma Bombeck

  Thanksgiving, Sports, Football

  "On Being Blonde: Wit and Wisdom from the World's Most Infamous Blondes". Book by Paula Munier, p. 67, September 1, 2004.

  28 Copy quote

  Show source

• Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.

  Joe Theismann

  Funny, Sports, Football

  "Conrad Smith sees USA challenge in all black and white: it's about the win" by Alexander Bisley, www.theguardian.com. October 30, 2014.

  59 Copy quote

  Show source
• 

  If my mother put on a helmet and shoulder pads and a uniform that wasn't the same as the one I was wearing, I'd run over her if she was in my way. And I love my mother.

  Bo Jackson

  Motivational, Soccer, Football

  Bo Jackson, Dick Schaap (1990). “Bo knows Bo: the autobiography of a ballplayer”, Doubleday Books

  91 Copy quote

  Show source

• You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four.

  Dan Birdwell

  Motivational, Soccer, Football

  47 Copy quote

• Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.

  Frank Gifford

  Sports, Football, Nfl

  51 Copy quote

• Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?

  Jim Bouton

  Teamwork, Sports, Baseball

  48 Copy quote

• Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck.

  Don Shula

  Funny, Sports, Football

  78 Copy quote

• I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.

  Terry Bradshaw

  Football, Stupid, Nfl

  23 Copy quote

• Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally.

  Alfred Hitchcock

  Football, Player, Nfl

  11 Copy quote

• Most football players are temperamental. That's 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental.

  Doug Plank

  Sports, Football, Player

  44 Copy quote

• Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

  Dave Barry

  Football, Intelligent, Sharks

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  87 Copy quote

  Show source

• We can't run. We can't pass. We can't stop the run. We can't stop the pass. We can't kick. Other than that, we're just not a very good football team right now.

  Bruce Coslet

  Soccer, Football, Running

  8 Copy quote

• When I went to Catholic high school in Philadelphia, we just had one coach for football and basketball. He took all of us who turned out and had us run through a forest. The ones who ran into the trees were on the football team.

  George Raveling

  Basketball, Football, Running

  10 Copy quote

• If you're mad at your kid, you can either raise him to be a nose tackle or send him out to play on the freeway. It's about the same.

  Bob Golic

  Football, Kids, Play

  46 Copy quote

• When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anyone deliberately - unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something.

  Dick Butkus

  Sports, Football, Hurt

  79 Copy quote

• Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.

  John Heisman

  Soccer, Sports, Football

  34 Copy quote

• I feel like I'm the best, but you're not going to get me to say that.

  Jerry Rice

  Motivational, Sports, Football

  24 Copy quote