Funny Golf Quotes

Luck is predictable; the harder you work, the luckier you get.

Brian Tracy

Motivational, Perseverance, Work

85 Copy quote
I've always made a total effort, even when the odds seemed entirely against me. I never quit trying; I never felt that I didn't have a chance to win.

Arnold Palmer

Sports, Perseverance, Determination

74 Copy quote
My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Lee Trevino

Golf, Swings, Lunch

84 Copy quote
Forget your opponents; always play against par.

Sam Snead

Golf, Play, Focus

68 Copy quote
Golf's three ugliest words: still your shot.

Dave Marr

Golf, Three, Shots

44 Copy quote
If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

Lee Trevino

Sports, Golf, Iron

59 Copy quote
The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.

Ben Hogan

Sports, Golf, Needs

56 Copy quote
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

Hank Aaron

Funny, Sports, Baseball

54 Copy quote
I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

Lee Trevino

Dirty, Golf, Games

Quoted in Scholastic Coach,'Coaches' Corner', Dec 1982.

63 Copy quote

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Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.

Lee Trevino

Dirty, Golf, Gold

14 Copy quote
The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

Chi Chi Rodriguez

Dirty, Golf, Gold

39 Copy quote
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

Sports, Golf, Guitar

Quoted in Colin Jarman The Guinness Dictionary of Sports Quotations (1990).

7 Copy quote

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I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

Joe E. Lewis

Funny, Golf, Play

8 Copy quote
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

Jack Benny

Beautiful, Sports, Golf

35 Copy quote
The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.

Pete Dye

Funny, Golf, Play

52 Copy quote
The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Jerry Barber

Sports, Volleyball, Golf

45 Copy quote
If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him.

Bob Hope

Dirty, Golf, Play

8 Copy quote
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose

Winston Churchill

Funny, Golf, Games

Winston Churchill (2001). “The Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill”, Michael O'Mara Books

10 Copy quote

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Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser.

Vince Lombardi

Inspirational, Motivational, Sports

"Donald Trump’s Concession Speech" by Noam Bramson, www.huffingtonpost.com. August 02, 2016.

74 Copy quote

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The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.

Phyllis Diller

Retirement, Real, Golf

15 Copy quote
It's a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get.

Arnold Palmer

Funny, Sports, Golf

FaceBook post by Arnold Palmer from Oct 04, 2016

76 Copy quote

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Of all the hazards, fear is the worst.

Sam Snead

Sports, Golf, Hazards

55 Copy quote
Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass.

Bob Hope

Sports, Golf, Player

8 Copy quote
The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.

Brian Weiss

Golf, Long, Tree

7 Copy quote
Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots - but you have to play the ball where it lies.

Bobby Jones

Lying, Golf, Games

"Bobby Jones said play the ball as it lies. Tiger Woods has done just that", www.theguardian.com. February 20, 2010.

316 Copy quote

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