Funny Golf Quotes - Page 4

• Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

  Jim Bishop

  Funny, Retirement, Native American

  14 Copy quote

• While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

  Henny Youngman

  Golf, Two, Balls

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  51 Copy quote

  Show source

• Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.

  Harry Vardon

  Funny, Retirement, Golf

  41 Copy quote

• The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

  Billy Graham

  Sports, Prayer, Golf

  Billy Graham (2013). “Quotes from Billy Graham: A Legacy of Faith”, p.143, B&H Publishing Group

  8 Copy quote

  Show source

• If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Hope, Inspirational Sports

  20 Copy quote

• Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.

  Jimmy Demaret

  Sex, Golf, Enjoy

  25 Copy quote

• Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

  Dave Barry

  Inspirational, Funny, Sports

  Dave Barry (1985). “Dave Barry's Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead”, p.32, Rodale

  13 Copy quote

  Show source

• For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

  Dave Barry

  Golf, Balls, Literature

  11 Copy quote

• The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.

  Ernest Hemingway

  Sports, Golf, Games

  Letter on May 15, 1925. "Ernest Hemingway: Selected Letters 1917 - 1961", book edited by Carlos Baker, 1981.

  31 Copy quote

  Show source

• Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well.

  Craig Stadler

  Golf, Lasts, Wells

  16 Copy quote

• Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.

  Bruce Lansky

  Golf, Talking, Balls

  Bruce Lansky (2011). “Golf, It's Just a Game: The Best Quotes & Cartoons About Golf”, p.81, Simon and Schuster

  12 Copy quote

  Show source

• One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.

  George Archer

  Golf, Play, Great Golf

  9 Copy quote

• There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.

  Ben Hogan

  Sports, Golf, Air

  13 Copy quote

• If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.

  Tom Mulligan

  Golf, Get Better, Age

  8 Copy quote

• Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting.

  Peter Dobereiner

  Fun, Golf, Half

  56 Copy quote

• The woods are full of long drivers.

  Harvey Penick

  Golf, Long, Woods

  Harvey Penick, Davis Love III (2012). “Harvey Penick's Little Red Book: Lessons And Teachings From A Lifetime In Golf”, p.29, Simon and Schuster

  61 Copy quote

  Show source

• There is no such thing as natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls.

  Lee Trevino

  Sports, Perseverance, Golf

  47 Copy quote

• If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

  Dean Martin

  Retirement, Drinking, Book

  "Famous drinkers" by Rob Parker, www.theguardian.com. April 18, 2004.

  150 Copy quote

  Show source

• I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Real, Golf, Play

  9 Copy quote

• The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf - it's almost a law.

  H. G. Wells

  Beauty, Golf, Men

  H. G. Wells (2015). “Delphi Complete Works of H. G. Wells”, p.4845, Delphi Classics

  24 Copy quote

  Show source

• Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

  William Wordsworth

  Sports, Retirement, Golf

  'The Prelude' (1850) bk. 4, l. 376

  11 Copy quote

  Show source

• These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.

  Sam Snead

  Dirty, Golf, Gold

  14 Copy quote

• I always thought of myself as some sort of athlete until I started playing golf a couple years ago.

  James Caan

  Couple, Athlete, Golf

  "James Caan: What I've Learned". Interview with Ross Johnson, www.esquire.com. January 29, 2007.

  9 Copy quote

  Show source

• Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.

  Robin Williams

  Golf, Men, White Man

  17 Copy quote

• I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.

  Bob Hope

  Golf, Names, Get Up

  9 Copy quote