Golf is a game you can never get too good at. You can improve, but you can never get to where you master the game.
Sex is the most fun you can have without smiling.
They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. It's more complicated than that.
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.
Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.
You know what they say about big hitters...the woods are full of them.
On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20 percent lied.
Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists. By its exactitudes of measurements it invites the attention of perfectionists.
One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.
Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.
I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.
Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.
You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about.
Golf's three ugliest words: still your shot.
Swing hard in case you hit it.
The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.
One of the most fascinating things about golf is how it reflects the cycle of life. No matter what you shoot - the next day you have to go back to the first tee and begin all over again and make yourself into something.
There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.
Success in golf depends less on strength of body than upon strength of mind and character.
I've heard people say putting is 50 percent technique and 50 percent mental. I really believe it is 50 percent technique and 90 percent positive thinking, see, but that adds up to 140 percent, which is why nobody is 100 percent sure how to putt.
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