Funny Inspirational Life Quotes

• If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.

  Jim Rohn

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  FaceBook post by Jim Rohn from Oct 06, 2015

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• The elevator to success is out of order, but the stairs are always open.

  Zig Ziglar

  Inspirational, Funny Motivational, Funny Work

  65 Copy quote

• People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.

  Zig Ziglar

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  FaceBook post by Zig Ziglar from Sep 22, 2016

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• ‎Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.

  Voltaire

  Positive, Funny Inspirational, Short Life

  Elizabeth Cooney Leister, Voltaire (1985). “Voltaire's Candide”, Barrons Educational Series Incorporated

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  If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

  Yogi Berra

  Inspirational, Funny, Success

  "Yogi Berra, baseball Hall of Famer and New York Yankees catcher, dies at 90" by Alan Evans, www.theguardian.com. September 23, 2015.

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  I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

  Ron White

  Inspirational, Funny, Encouraging

  "Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again". Comedy, Documentary, www.imdb.com. 2004.

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• I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Life, Birthday

  120 Copy quote

• If you don't know where you are currently standing, you're dead.

  Samuel Beckett

  Baseball, Goals Dreams, Yankees

  112 Copy quote

• Life is a blank canvas, and you need to throw all the paint on it you can.

  Danny Kaye

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  70 Copy quote

• I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - T-SHIRT

  Darynda Jones

  Funny, Birthday, Humorous

  Darynda Jones (2013). “Fifth Grave Past the Light”, p.21, St. Martin's Press

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• Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't.

  Richard Bach

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah". Book by Richard Bach, 1977.

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• If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.

  Ron White

  Funny, Giving, I Believe

  "Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again". Comedy, Documentary, www.imdb.com. 2004.

  758 Copy quote

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• If you don't know where you're going any road will do

  Lewis Carroll

  Baseball, Travel, Goals Dreams

  64 Copy quote

• You grow up the day you have the first real laugh at yourself.

  Ethel Barrymore

  Inspirational, Life, Happy Birthday

  43 Copy quote

• Life is like the stock market. Some days you're up. Some days you're down. And some days you feel like something the bull left behind.

  Paula Wall

  Funny, Life Is Like, Bulls

  12 Copy quote

• It's hard to get lost if you don't know where you're going.

  Jim Jarmusch

  Baseball, Funny Motivational, Goals Dreams

  "His Films, His Way: Jim Jarmusch Is Still Figuring Out How to Do It". Interview with Marc Savlov, www.austinchronicle.com. October 20, 2000.

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• When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second.

  Albert Einstein

  Love, Girl, Funny Inspirational

  7 Copy quote

• When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

  Albert Einstein

  Funny, Girl, Witty

  "News Chronicle" (March 14, 1949), as cited by "The Columbia World of Quotations", 1996.

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• Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

  Will Rogers

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  "The Graduation Speech I'd Give, if Anyone Asked" by Karina Bland, www.azcentral.com. June 03, 2015.

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• Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

  Thomas A. Edison

  Funny, Life, Motivational

  "An Enemy Called Average". Book by John L. Mason, 1990.

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• If you do not know where you are going, every road will get you nowhere

  Henry A. Kissinger

  Inspiring, Success, Baseball

  146 Copy quote

• The road to success is always under construction.

  Lily Tomlin

  Funny, Inspiring, Success

  200 Copy quote

• Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.

  Dr. Seuss

  Inspirational, Life, Inspiring

  248 Copy quote

• If you're going through hell, keep going.

  Winston Churchill

  Inspirational, Motivational, Change

  392 Copy quote
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  Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

  George Carlin

  Inspirational, Life, Music

  George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

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