Funny Mathematics Quotes

• A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

  Paul Erdos

  Witty, Humorous, Coffee

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• A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.

  Charles Darwin

  Inspirational, Cat, Science

  Quoted in John D Barrow Pie in the Sky, Counting, Thinking and Being (1992).

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• There are two ways to do great mathematics. The first is to be smarter than everybody else. The second way is to be stupider than everybody else - but persistent.

  Raoul Bott

  Math, Two, Way

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• The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.

  Eric Hoffer

  Thank You, Thankful, Gratitude

  "Reflections on the Human Condition" by Eric Hoffer, (Section 172), 1973.

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• The pursuit of mathematics is a divine madness of the human spirit.

  Alfred North Whitehead

  Math, Spirit, Madness

  Alfred North Whitehead (1997). “Science and the Modern World”, p.20, Simon and Schuster

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• Mathematics consists in proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way.

  George Polya

  Knowledge, Math, Obvious Things

  George Pólya (1968). “Mathematical discovery: on understanding, learning, and teaching problem solving”

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• If people do not believe that mathematics is simple, it is only because they do not realize how complicated life is.

  John von Neumann

  Believe, Math, Simple

  John von Neumann's remarks as keynote speaker at the first national meeting of the Association for Computing Machinery (1947) as quoted in "Archaeology of computers: Reminiscences, 1945-1947" by Franz L. Alt, Communications of the ACM, Volume 15, Issue 7, special issue: Twenty-fifth anniversary of the Association for Computing Machinery (p. 694), July 1972.

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• Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare.

  Rene Descartes

  Math, Men, Numbers

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• Obvious is the most dangerous word in mathematics.

  Eric Temple Bell

  Knowledge, Math, Science

  Eric Temple Bell (1938). “The queen of the sciences”

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• Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true.

  Bertrand Russell

  Fake People, Math, Talking

  "Mathematics and Metaphysicians" (1901)

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• If equations are trains threading the landscape of numbers, then no train stops at pi.

  Richard Preston

  Math, Numbers, Landscape

  "The Mountains of Pi" by Richard Preston, www.newyorker.com. March 02, 1992.

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• Young man, in mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them.

  John von Neumann

  Math, Science, Men

  Quoted in Gary Zukav, The DancingWu Li Masters (1979)

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• Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity I do not understand it myself any more.

  Albert Einstein

  Math, Computer, Theory

  Albert Einstein (1970). “Albert Einstein: philosopher-scientist”

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• Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.

  Steven Wright

  Zero, Math, Black

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• Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas.

  Albert Einstein

  Teaching, Math, Science

  "Obituary for Emmy Noether". Letter to the Editor of The New York Times, www-history.mcs.st-andrews.ac.uk. May 5, 1935.

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• If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics.

  Francis Bacon

  Science, Math, Men

  Francis Bacon, Basil Montagu (1821). “A critique of Bacon's "Novum Organum," by Basil Montagu, extracted from the Retrospective Review, 1821. Few MS. notes”, p.285

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• Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best, he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear his shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the house.

  Robert A. Heinlein

  Learning, Math, Shoes

  Time Enough for Love "Intermission" (1973)

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• Mathematics are well and good but Nature keeps dragging us around by the nose.

  Albert Einstein

  Math, Noses, Wells

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• As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.

  Albert Einstein

  Inspirational, Funny, Wisdom

  Address to Prussian Academy of Sciences, Berlin, 27 Jan. 1921

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• As long as algebra is taught in school, there will be prayer in school.

  Cokie Roberts

  Prayer, School, Math

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• Arithmetic is numbers you squeeze from your head to your hand to your pencil to your paper till you get the answer.

  Carl Sandburg

  Math, Hands, Numbers

  Carl Sandburg, Frances Schoonmaker Bolin (1995). “Carl Sandburg”, p.17, Sterling Publishing Company, Inc.

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• Know what you are talking about.

  Pope John Paul II

  Knowledge, Knowing Jesus, Talking

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• Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper.

  David Hilbert

  Math, Simple, Games

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• I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

  Calvin Trillin

  Teacher, Teaching, School

  Calvin Trillin (1988). “If you can't say something nice”, Penguin Group USA

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• If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

  Laurence J. Peter

  Funny, Witty, Revenge

  Laurence J. Peter (1979). “Peter's people”, W. Morrow

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