Funny Motherhood Quotes

• There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.

  Jill Churchill

  Inspirational, Leadership, Mothers Day

  75 Copy quote

• Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age.

  William Feather

  Mothers Day, Mom, Children

  William Feather (1949). “The Business of Life”

  10 Copy quote

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• Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.

  Sam Levenson

  Funny, Mothers Day, Hilarious

  46 Copy quote

• All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Mothers Day, Mom

  The Importance of Being Earnest act 1 (1895). The same lines appear, as a dialogue between Lord Illingworth and Mrs. Allonby, in A Woman of No Importance, act 2 (1893).

  49 Copy quote

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• When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.

  Erma Bombeck

  Inspirational, Mothers Day, Mom

  59 Copy quote

• I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

  Phyllis Diller

  Funny, Family, Mom

  72 Copy quote

• I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

  Bill Watterson

  Motivational, Mom, Children

  11 Copy quote

• As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

  Buddy Hackett

  Funny, Family, Mothers Day

  99 Copy quote

• Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.

  Oprah Winfrey

  Inspirational, Mothers Day, Mom

  86 Copy quote
• 

  If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

  Milton Berle

  Funny, Mothers Day, Hilarious

  107 Copy quote

• It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.

  Phyllis Diller

  Mothers Day, Mom, Fathers Day

  65 Copy quote

• Youth fades, love droops, the leaves of friendship fall; A mother's secret hope outlives them all.

  Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

  Mothers Day, Mom, Hope

  Oliver Wendell Holmes (2007). “Professor At The Breakfast Table”, p.129, Reprint Services Corporation

  81 Copy quote

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• When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Family, Mom

  94 Copy quote

• Only mothers can think of the future - because they give birth to it in their children.

  Maxim Gorky

  Mothers Day, Mom, Baby

  129 Copy quote

• The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.

  Dorothy Parker

  Inspirational, Funny, Hilarious

  Dorothy Parker (2004). “Dorothy Parker in Her Own Words”, Taylor Trade Publishing

  39 Copy quote

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• She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn't take them along.

  Margaret Culkin Banning

  Family, Mom, Mother

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  47 Copy quote

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• OF COURSE I'd like to be the ideal mother. But I'm too busy raising children.

  Bil Keane

  Mother, Children, Parenting

  7 Copy quote

• Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have anything to do with it.

  Haim Ginott

  Happy Mothers Day, Children, Parenting

  52 Copy quote

• Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Family, Mothers Day, Mom

  57 Copy quote

• The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men - from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.

  Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

  Family, Mothers Day, Mom

  Oliver Wendell Holmes (2007). “Professor At The Breakfast Table”, p.124, Reprint Services Corporation

  8 Copy quote

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• A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.

  Dorothy Canfield Fisher

  Funny, Family, Mothers Day

  Her Son's Wife ch. 37 (1926)

  83 Copy quote

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• My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart-a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation.

  Mark Twain

  Family, Mothers Day, Mom

  Mark Twain, Milton Meltzer (2002). “Mark Twain Himself: A Pictorial Biography”, p.22, University of Missouri Press

  19 Copy quote

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• By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class.

  Anne Morrow Lindbergh

  Mothers Day, Mom, Motherhood

  Gift from the Sea ch. 3 (1955)

  66 Copy quote

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• Most mothers kiss and scold together.

  Pearl S. Buck

  Mothers Day, Mom, Motherhood

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  22 Copy quote

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• An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy.

  Rudyard Kipling

  Mothers Day, Mom, Parenting

  56 Copy quote