Funny Weed Quotes

The biggest killer on the planet is stress and I still think the best medicine is and always has been cannabis.

Willie Nelson

Weed, War, Stress

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If you substitute marijuana for tobacco and alcohol, you'll add eight to 24 years to your life.

Jack Herer

Weed, Marijuana, Years

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If the words 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness' don't include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it was written on.

Terence McKenna

Weed, Pursuit Of Happiness, Marijuana

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I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is an herb and a flower. God put it here. If He put it here and He wants it to grow, what gives the government the right to say that God is wrong?

Willie Nelson

Weed, Flower, Marijuana

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The illegality of cannabis is outrageous, an impediment to full utilization of a drug which helps produce the serenity and insight, sensitivity and fellowship so desperately needed in this increasingly mad and dangerous world.

Carl Sagan

Weed, Marijuana, Dangerous World

"Mr. X". Essay by Carl Sagan, hermiene.net. 1969.

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What is the difference between astroturf and grass? I don't know, I never smoked astroturf.

Tug McGraw

Funny, Weed, Baseball

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Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural?

Bill Hicks

Funny, Weed, Humor

32 Copy quote
When I was a kid, I inhaled. Frequently. That was the point.

Barack Obama

Weed, Kids, Marijuana

"Obama's Drug Use Debated". www.cbsnews.com. February 12, 2008.

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You bet I did and I enjoyed it.

Michael Bloomberg

Weed, Marijuana, Cannabis

"Bloomberg Says He Regrets Marijuana Remarks". www.nytimes.com. April 10, 2002.

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I got high, and forgot I wasn't supposed to get high.

Ricky Williams

Marijuana, Getting High

9 Copy quote
Of course I know how to roll a joint.

Martha Stewart

Weed, Marijuana, Bud

"Scientists figure out how much pot is in a joint", www.foxnews.com. July 19, 2016.

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I now have absolute proof that smoking even one marijuana cigarette is equal in brain damage to being on Bikini Island during an H-bomb blast

Ronald Reagan

Funny, Weed, Marijuana

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Smoking helped put me in touch with the realm of the senses.

Hugh Hefner

Weed, Marijuana, Smoking

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Why use up the forests which were centuries in the making and the mines which required ages to lay down, if we can get the equivalent of forest and mineral products in the annual growth of the hemp fields?

Henry Ford

Weed, Marijuana, Growth

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Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.

Matt Lauer

Funny, Marijuana, Two

"The hard shell" by Richard Johnson, www.theguardian.com. August 26, 2006.

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It is beyond my comprehension that any humane person would withhold such a beneficial substance from people in such great need simply because others use it for different purposes.

Steven Gould

Weed, Marijuana, People

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Instead of taking five or six of the prescriptions, I decided to go a natural route and smoke marijuana.

Melissa Etheridge

Weed, Marijuana, Six

"Melissa Etheridge's anthem of hope". "Dateline" with Stone Phillips, www.nbcnews.com. October 16, 2005.

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It really puzzles me to see marijuana connected with narcotics dope and all of that stuff. It is a thousand times better than whiskey. It is an assistant and a friend.

Louis Armstrong

Weed, Marijuana, Dope

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Forty million Americans smoked marijuana; the only ones who didn’t like it were Judge Ginsberg, Clarence Thomas and Bill Clinton.

Jay Leno

Funny, Weed, Marijuana

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I have always loved marijuana. It has been a source of joy and comfort to me for many years. And I still think of it as a basic staple of life, along with beer and ice and grapefruits - and millions of Americans agree with me.

Hunter S. Thompson

Weed, Beer, Thinking

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Penalties against possession of a drug should not be more damaging to an individual than the use of the drug itself

Jimmy Carter

Weed, Marijuana, Drug Use

Jimmy Carter (2010). “White House Diary”, p.74, Macmillan

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Why do I do it? Because I enjoy its effects. You know, I - why does anybody use any mind-altering substance, you know, because they like the way it makes them feel.

Mark Stepnoski

Marijuana, Mind, Doe

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Marijuana is quite possibly the finest of intoxicants. It has been scientifically proven, for decades, to be much less harmful to the body than alcohol when used on a regular basis.

Nick Offerman

Weed, Marijuana, Alcohol

Nick Offerman (2013). “Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living”, p.94, Penguin

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When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didnt like it, and I didnt inhale, and I never tried again.

William J. Clinton

Weed, Time, Marijuana

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Penalties against possession of a drug should not be more damaging to an individual than the use of the drug itself; and where they are, they should be changed. Nowhere is this more clear than in the laws against possession of marijuana in private for personal use... Therefore, I support legislation amending Federal law to eliminate all Federal criminal penalties for the possession of up to one ounce [28g] of marijuana.

Jimmy Carter

Weed, Marijuana, Law

U.S. President in a message to the U.S. Congress, 1977.

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