There is no such thing as natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls.
The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.
There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.
Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.
The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.
Golf is a better game played downhill.
You don't know what pressure is until you play for five bucks with only two bucks in your pocket.
The older I get, the better I was.
A perfectly straight shot with a big club is a fluke.
Show me a golfer who doesn't have a mean streak, and I'll show you a weak competitor.
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.
If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf - it's almost a law.
Golf is a game in which you yell "for," shoot six, and write down five.
Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.
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