Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life not to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy.
For this game you need, above all things, to be in a tranquil frame of mind.
One reason golf is such an exasperating game is that a thing we learned is so easily forgotten, and we find ourselves struggling year after year with faults we had discovered and corrected time and again.
No game designed to be played with the aid of personal servants by right-handed men who can't even bring along their dogs can be entirely good for the soul.
It's easy to see golf not as a game at all but as some whey-faced, nineteenth-century Presbyterian minister's fever dream of exorcism achieved through ritual and self-mortification.
I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser.
Golf is a better game played downhill.
I have found the game to be, in all factualness, a universal language wherever I traveled at home or abroad.
Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable.
Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose.
I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.
Playing the game I have learned the meaning of humility. It has given me an understanding of futility of the human effort.
Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.
"After all, golf is only a game", said Millicent. Women say these things without thinking. It does not mean that there is any kink in their character. They simply don't realise what they are saying.
No-one will ever have golf under his thumb. No round ever will be so good it could not have been better. Perhaps this is why golf is the greatest of games. You are not playing a human adversary; you a playing a game. You are playing old man par.
I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.
Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots - but you have to play the ball where it lies.
I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.
Golf is not, and never has been, a fair game.
Golf is assuredly a mystifying game. It would seem that if a person has hit a golf ball correctly a thousand times, he should be able to duplicate the performance at will. But such is certainly not the case.
It is nevertheless a game of considerable passion, either of the explosive type, or that which burns inwardly and sears the soul.
I play with friends, but we don't play friendly games.
Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.
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