The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of 30.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Time and tide wait for no man.
You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.
Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.
Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed.
There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents, and only one for birthday presents, you know.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much.
There is still no cure for the common birthday.
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people.
The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.
Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you're aboard, there's nothing you can do.
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