Olympics Quotes - Page 17

• The Queen of England jumped out of a helicopter and parachuted into the stadium. What was even more amazing was when Prince Charles flew in using his ears as a hang glider.

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Queens, London Olympics

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• Even though the Olympics take place during Ramadan, some Muslim athletes said they will not fast during games. Then, after sampling the British food, they said, on second thought, fasting sounds good.

  Conan O'Brien

  Funny, Athlete, London Olympics

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• Officials at the London Olympics will be conducting 5,000 tests for steroids. Or as Lance Armstrong calls that, 'a Monday.'

  Jimmy Fallon

  Funny, Monday, London Olympics

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• In the spirit of the Olympic Games, they traditionally ask that all fighting and warfare around the world stop. So, there's hope for a ceasefire within the Jackson family.

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Fighting, London Olympics

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• This year's Olympics will be replacing the women's beach volleyball bikinis with uniforms that are less revealing. The stricter dress code was made to appease the conservative nation of 'Buzzkillistan.'

  Conan O'Brien

  Funny, Volleyball, Beach

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• The night before the Olympics opening ceremony, my son, who is eight years old, gets very excited and likes to put out a plate of cookies and some milk for Bob Costas.

  David Letterman

  Funny, Son, Night

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• Mitt Romney will travel to London where he will attend the Olympics opening ceremony. Of course it's going ot be weird when they're announcing all the countries, and he's like 'Got a bank account there, got one there, two bank accounts there.'

  Jimmy Fallon

  Funny, Country, London Olympics

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• Well, Harry Reid and other members of congress, they're just furious over this Olympic uniform deal. He says we should burn the uniforms, and it's an embarrassment and a disgrace. Not as embarrassing as congress constantly borrowing money from the Chinese, but still embarrassing.

  Jay Leno

  Funny, London Olympics, Chinese

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• Have you seen the Olympic uniforms? It's for the American Olympic team and it's berets. To me, nothing says America like a guy in a beret. Look at our founding fathers, they all wore berets.

  David Letterman

  Funny, Father, Team

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• I guess you heard about this; the U.S. Olympic Committee is coming under fire after it was revealed that the uniforms for Team USA to be worn in the opening ceremony were made in China. Turns out they were made by some of the same kids who could beat us in gymnastics. That's the worst part.

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Team, Kids

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• The reality is that there are half a billion kids in India, in villages, who have a pre-determined life. If they're very lucky and they're a gifted athlete, maybe they can compete for the Olympics, or maybe they can get into the military. But if you're not a gifted athlete, then you're going to end up working for your family and you're going to perpetuate what your family is. It's gotten to the point, in villages, where there's no hope. And the first spark of hope is when you ask yourself the question,"What gift did God give me that I can develop and use to better my life?"

  J. B. Bernstein

  Military, Kids, Athlete

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• Is a BJ adultery? What? Did I miss a day of school? Of course it is! Oral sex is adultery like Curling is an Olympic sport. The only thing is, oral sex should be in the Olympics because it's much harder than Curling, and if you're good at it, you DESERVE a medal!

  Lewis Black

  Sports, Sex, School

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• I'm not sure what's going on in Britain. I don't know what's going on in London. Because London is no longer an English city, and that's how they got the Olympics. I mean, they said, "We're the most cosmopolitan city on Earth," but it doesn't feel English.

  John Cleese

  Mean, Cities, Earth

  "John Cleese joins 7.30". Interview with Chris Uhlmann, www.abc.net.au. August 31, 2011.

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  Show source

• Intensive mothering is the ultimate female Olympics: We are all in powerful competition with each other, in constant danger of being trumped by the mom down the street, or in the magazine we're reading. The competition isn't just over who's a good mother--it's over who's the best. We compete with each other; we compete with ourselves. The best mothers always put their kids' needs before their own, period.

  Susan J. Douglas

  Mom, Mother, Powerful

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• To me, doing the Olympics in 1992 in Barcelona for NBC, just seeing the Dream Team take the floor, was a thrill for me. I dont think there was another team in any sport with that high level of athletes playing together.

  Marv Albert

  Sports, Dream, Team

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• NBC announced that during the summer Olympics they will set a new record by airing over 1200 hours of coverage. Which is amazing because that's 10 hours longer than the coverage of Reagan's funeral.

  Conan O'Brien

  Summer, Nbc, Funeral

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• You see the fairy tale - four minutes of glory at the Olympics. I thought my life would be cake after that.

  Dorothy Hamill

  Cake, Would Be, Four

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• In my teen years leading up to the Olympics, I loved having the excuse to skip out on parties because of skating. Partying wasnt my thing anyway. Mostly I hung out with other skaters. We were all buddies, so its not like I missed out on socializing. I was really enjoying myself.

  Dorothy Hamill

  Party, Years, Skating

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• I grew up an athlete. Track and field and dance. In track, I actually went to the Junior Olympics. I've always been very athletic.

  Kimberly Elise

  Athlete, Track, Athletic

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• I was obsessed with the Olympics. It's so exciting to see that level of excellence and endurance.

  Lisa Bonet

  Excellence, Endurance, Levels

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• Training for the Olympics was a lifelong endeavor and took many years.

  Kristi Yamaguchi

  Years, Training, Endeavor

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• In terms of my career, having the gold definitely changed my life. The Olympics are different, you know? They're every four years and it's such a small group.

  Kristi Yamaguchi

  Years, Careers, Gold

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• There's no day when I don't think it would be great to be 25 years old and have the Olympics coming in less than 300 days - and be the best in the world. I can't think of anything so motivating.

  Daley Thompson

  Thinking, Years, Would Be

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• For a long time, just skating in the Olympics had been my goal because not many Koreans had done it.

  Kim Yuna

  Long, Goal, Skating

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• Training with Bela and Marta Karolyi took the joy out of the Olympics for me. I look back and feel there was a lot of verbal and physical abuse. For years, I felt it was my problem.

  Dominique Moceanu

  Years, Joy, Abuse

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