Redneck Humor Quotes

• You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Black, Velvet

  4 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Dad, Redneck, Giving

  4 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Jobs, Redneck, Two

  4 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Men, Might

  4 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Office, Tanks

  4 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Wall, Redneck, Wife

  8 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  School, Redneck, Daddy

  4 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Numbers, Age

  4 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Hair, Might

  5 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  School, Redneck, Class

  5 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Block, Redneck, Car

  4 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Over You, Cash

  4 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Quality, Might

  4 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  War, Redneck, Southern

  4 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Waiting, Might

  4 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Ems, Shade

  4 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Mom, Girlfriend, Redneck

  5 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Thinking, Might

  4 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Gun, Might

  4 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Cousin, Redneck, Waiting

  Jeff Foxworthy (2004). “There's No Place Like (A Mobile) Home For The Holidays: A Redneck Christmas”, p.47, Thomas Nelson Inc

  17 Copy quote

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• You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Necks, Arms

  4 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Running, Redneck, Tanks

  4 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Senior, Mother, Redneck

  4 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Nice, Redneck, Doors

  4 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Dining, Bottles

  13 Copy quote