Redneck Humor Quotes

• You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Over You, Cash

  7 Copy quote

• If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Mother, Kissing, Redneck

  9 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  School, Redneck, Daddy

  7 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Wife, Vienna

  8 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Party, Redneck, Teeth

  7 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Shoes, Numbers

  Jeff Foxworthy (2004). “You Might Be A Redneck If ...This Is The Biggest Book You've Ever Read”, p.224, Thomas Nelson Inc

  8 Copy quote

  Show source

• You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Jobs, Redneck, Two

  7 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Queens, Mean, Redneck

  Jeff Foxworthy (2004). “You Might Be A Redneck If ...This Is The Biggest Book You've Ever Read”, p.97, Thomas Nelson Inc

  7 Copy quote

  Show source

• You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Block, Redneck, Car

  7 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Senior, Mother, Redneck

  8 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  School, Redneck, Class

  9 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Doors, Color

  7 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Police, Phrases

  8 Copy quote

• If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Humor, Redneck

  6 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Wall, Redneck, Wife

  13 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Numbers, Age

  8 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Office, Tanks

  7 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Men, Might

  7 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Clothes, Logos

  7 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Loss, Redneck, Earthquakes

  7 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Wrestling, Redneck, Vcr

  7 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Three, Might

  52 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Dining, Bottles

  17 Copy quote

• You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Thinking, Entrepreneur

  6 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Hair, Might

  8 Copy quote