Retarded Quotes

• Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

  David Sedaris

  Humorous, Mind, Looks

  David Sedaris (1998). “The Santaland Diaries ; And, Season's Greetings”, p.17, Dramatists Play Service Inc

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• If it were a retarded baby and a bright dog, I'd save the dog.

  Tom Regan

  Dog, Baby, Peta

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• I got attention by being funny at school, pretending to be retarded, and jumping around with a deformed hand.

  Leonardo DiCaprio

  Funny, School, Hands

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• I like to watch retarded people have sex, am I alone?

  Daron Malakian

  Sex, People, Watches

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• Religion is the retarded stepchild of philosophy.

  Frank Mir

  Philosophy, Stepchild

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• Retarded kids are the best. When they ask for an autograph I just fake sign a picture and tell them that it's in invisible ink and it will show up later. They totally buy it. It saves me a fortune in markers.

  Zach Braff

  Kids, Fake, Ink

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• Guys are kind of retarded until they're about 30.

  Katherine Heigl

  Guy, Kind, Retard

  "Katherine Heigl's Dangerous Curves". Maxim Interview, www.tvguide.com. May 24, 2000.

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• Scholastic learning and polemical divinity retarded the growth of all true knowledge.

  David Hume

  Philosophical, Growth, Divinity

  David Hume (1826). “The history of England: From the invasion of Julius Caesar to the revolution of 1688 : To which is prefixed a short account of his life, written by himself”, p.187

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• My sister is also retarded. Across the board. She's a one hundred per cent, honest to goodness, born that way retard. I learned a long time ago that if you're going to tell a story about your retarded sister, you need to mention she's retarded right off the bat or inevitably, at the end of the story, someone will say, What... is she, retarded? And then you have to go, Uh... yeah, she is. Followed by a lengthy, awkward silence.

  Bonnie McFarlane

  Long, Silence, Awkward

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• They think we are retarded. They are retarded.

  Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

  Funny, Military, Thinking

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• I'm a bit retarded, like most Americans.

  Henry Miller

  Bits

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• I may be ugly and clumsy, but one thing I'm not, I'm not retarded.

  Maxine Hong Kingston

  Ugly, May, One Thing

  Maxine Hong Kingston (2010). “The Woman Warrior: Memoirs of a Girlhood Among Ghosts”, p.223, Vintage

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• AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Funny, Country, Lying

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.16, 谷月社

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• ...the sun rose each morning to stare into my face with the blank but touching gaze of a lovely retarded child.

  James Crumley

  Morning, Children, Rose

  James Crumley (2016). “The Last Good Kiss”, p.184, Vintage Crime/Black Lizard

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• Science has been seriously retarded by the study of what is not worth knowing and of what is not knowable.

  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

  Science, Knowing, Study

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• The practical success of an idea, irrespective of its inherent merit, is dependent on the attitude of the contemporaries. If timely it is quickly adopted; if not, it is apt to fare like a sprout lured out of the ground by warm sunshine, only to be injured and retarded in its growth by the succeeding frost.

  Nikola Tesla

  Attitude, Sunshine, Ideas

  Nikola Tesla (2013). “The Nikola Tesla Treasury”, p.564, Simon and Schuster

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• I collect things that just look retarded.

  Ahmet Zappa

  Looks, Retard

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I'm retarded - I mean I'm retired.

  Frank Serpico

  Mean, Retired

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• Canada is a sweet country. It is like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving and sort of pat him on the head. You know, he's nice, but you don't take him seriously. That is Canada.

  Tucker Carlson

  Country, Sweet, Cousin

  "The Situation" with Tucker Carlson, www.nbcnews.com. December 15, 2005.

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• The grim fact is that we prepare for war like precocious giants, and for peace like retarded pygmies.

  Lester B. Pearson

  Peace, Clever, War

  Speech, Toronto, Canada, 14 Mar. 1955

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• Islam is not a religion, it's an ideology, the ideology of a retarded culture.

  Geert Wilders

  Islam, Culture, Ideology

  "'I don't hate Muslims. I hate Islam,' says Holland's rising political star". Interview with Ian Traynor, www.theguardian.com. February 16, 2008.

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• I've been told that I'm incompetent, socially retarded, maladjusted. I still know that I couldn't function in reality. Los Angeles is a good place for me.

  Diablo Cody

  Reality, Los Angeles, Function

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• We were just amazed we were putting out a record. We were, and are, still learning. But we've never cared much for professionalism as long as the energy was there. Like our live shows: We're out of tune and use a lot of feedback. That's not on purpose or because we don't care, we're just musically and rhythmically retarded and we play so hard that we can't tune our guitars fast enough.

  Kurt Cobain

  Guitar, Play, Long

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• If you judge a person by the company they keep, then I'm retarded.

  Chelsea Handler

  Judging, Judgment, Company

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• I love any movie that has a retarded person working at Starbucks.

  Chris Kattan

  Hilarious, Starbucks, Persons

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