You Might Be A Redneck If Quotes - Page 2

• You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Humor, Redneck

  "You might be a redneck if". Book by Jeff Foxworthy, 1989.

  54 Copy quote

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• You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Wife, Vienna

  8 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Tape, Might

  11 Copy quote

• If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Family, Feelings

  Interview with Paul Harris, www.harrisonline.com. May 30, 1996.

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• You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Loss, Redneck, Earthquakes

  7 Copy quote

• If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Mean, Redneck, Thinking

  9 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Basketball, Rain, School

  7 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Dog, Redneck, Light

  7 Copy quote

• If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Home, Humor

  7 Copy quote

• The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Jobs, Humor

  8 Copy quote

• You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Teacher, Retirement, Work

  11 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Book, Humor

  19 Copy quote

• If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Humor, Redneck

  Interview with Paul Harris, www.harrisonline.com. May 30, 1996.

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• You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Wrestling, Redneck, Vcr

  7 Copy quote

• If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Humor, Redneck

  42 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Sound, Might

  7 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Three, Might

  52 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Thinking, Musical

  7 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Might, Ifs

  7 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Father, School, Redneck

  Jeff Foxworthy (2006). “No Redneck Left Behind: Facing the Real World After Gettin' Your Diploma”, p.43, Thomas Nelson Inc

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• You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Thinking, Styrofoam

  9 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Doors, Color

  7 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Hunting, Dresses

  21 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Police, Phrases

  8 Copy quote

• You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Kids, Redneck, Shooting

  7 Copy quote