You Might Be A Redneck If Quotes

• You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Might, Fridges

  Jeff Foxworthy (2005). “Redneck Extreme Mobile Home Makeover: Or A Redneck Look at Fixing Up and Decorating Your House Without Loss of Limbs”, p.66, Thomas Nelson Inc

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• You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Might, Shirts

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• You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Queens, Mean, Redneck

  Jeff Foxworthy (2004). “You Might Be A Redneck If ...This Is The Biggest Book You've Ever Read”, p.97, Thomas Nelson Inc

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• You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Moon, Thinking

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• You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Drinking, Beer, Redneck

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• You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  School, Redneck, Class

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• You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Hair, Might

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• You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Love You, Redneck, Singing

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• You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Wall, Redneck, Wife

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• You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Might, Limits

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• You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Paper, Toilets

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• You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Color, Ties

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• You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Giving, Events

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• You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Dad, Redneck, Keys

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• You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Gourmet, Onions

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• You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Senior, Mother, Redneck

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• You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  School, Redneck, Daddy

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• You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Dining, Bottles

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• If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Humor, Redneck

  "Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie", www.imdb.com. 2003.

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• You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Wrestling, Redneck, Vcr

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• The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Jobs, Humor

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• You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Humor, Redneck

  "You might be a redneck if". Book by Jeff Foxworthy, 1989.

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• You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Basketball, Rain, School

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• If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Mean, Redneck, Thinking

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• You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Loss, Redneck, Earthquakes

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