The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.
I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse.
The terrorist is the one with the small bomb.
It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody.
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
They took away our land, our language, and our religion; but they could never harness our tongues...
The only thing I envy in young people is their livers.
I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
The English and Americans dislike only some Irish--the same Irish that the Irish themselves detest, Irish writers--the ones that think.
I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.
An author's first duty is to let down his country.
I am a drinker with writing problems.
I'm a Communist by day and a Catholic as soon as it gets dark.
New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment... a place where you're least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.
Every cripple has his own way of walking.
I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me.
Scream at God if that's the only thing that will get results.
Failure at a task may be the result of having tackled it at the wrong time.
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.
Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.
I saw a notice that said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started.
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
Message? What the hell do you think I am, a bloody postman?
There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends