The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.
I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse.
The terrorist is the one with the small bomb.
It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody.
They took away our land, our language, and our religion; but they could never harness our tongues...
The English and Americans dislike only some Irish--the same Irish that the Irish themselves detest, Irish writers--the ones that think.
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
The only thing I envy in young people is their livers.
I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
I'm a Communist by day and a Catholic as soon as it gets dark.
I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me.
An author's first duty is to let down his country.
I am a drinker with writing problems.
I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.
Every cripple has his own way of walking.
New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment... a place where you're least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.
Message? What the hell do you think I am, a bloody postman?
Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.
Failure at a task may be the result of having tackled it at the wrong time.
I saw a notice that said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started.
To get enough to eat was regarded as an achievement. To get drunk was a victory.
Prostitutes, more than any other profession, help keep American marriages together.
I cannot imagine any crime worse than taking a life, can you? -It'd depend whose life.
Other people's interruptions of your work are relatively insignificant compared with the countless times you interrupt yourself.
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