A good woman is known by what she does; a good man by what he doesn't.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said; after marriage , he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
Marriage is the only thing that affords a woman the pleasure of company and the perfect sensation of solitude at the same time.
Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.
To a man, marriage means giving up four out of five of the chiffonier drawers; to a woman, giving up four out of five of her opinions.
It's easier to hide your light under a bushel than to keep your shady side dark.
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.
A fool and her money are soon courted.
Before marriage, when a woman speaks to a man in an undertone, he calls it "cooing"; after marriage, he calls it nagging.
Going through life without love is like going through a good dinner without an appetite -- everything seems so flat and tasteless.
It is as hard to get a man to stay at home after you've married him as it was to get him to go home before you married him.
Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing.
A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.
Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.
Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.
Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.
Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.
Woman's love -- a mirror in which a man beholds himself glorified, magnified and deified.
A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.
The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.
Better a lively old epigram than a deadly new one.
A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.
Variety is the spice of love.
It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing.
A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
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