Lenny Bruce Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• If I just stuck to pot I might have found out what a drag being an aging hipster actually was.

  Lenny Bruce

  Hipster, Might, Aging

  "The Lenny Bruce Interview, Jill Bourque’s How We First Met and Stage Time With Steven Alan Green". jewishjournal.com. April 7, 2013.

  22 Copy quote

• My only challenge was to tell my truth, man... figure out what I had to say. These days, it's not enough to boost that roomful of strangers. The young comic spends all their time trying to sound different from the million other jokesters grabbing for the mic.

  Lenny Bruce

  Men, Challenges, Trying

  "The Lenny Bruce Interview, Jill Bourque’s How We First Met and Stage Time With Steven Alan Green". jewishjournal.com. April 7, 2013.

  22 Copy quote

• In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

  Lenny Bruce

  Justice, Lawyer, Halls

  "The Comedy Master Turned Martyr" by Stephen Robb, news.bbc.co.uk. August 03, 2006.

  24 Copy quote

• Every tribe needs a good front man to sell the program. Who better to convince the Middle East to give up the oil, than a brown man with a Muslim name?

  Lenny Bruce

  Giving Up, Men, Names

  "The Lenny Bruce Interview, Jill Bourque’s How We First Met and Stage Time With Steven Alan Green". jewishjournal.com. April 7, 2013.

  26 Copy quote

• When earth gets good and crowded, like 15th century England, then some new Pilgrims are gonna rocket their Mayflowers to a new solar system.

  Lenny Bruce

  Earth, Rockets, England

  "The Lenny Bruce Interview, Jill Bourque’s How We First Met and Stage Time With Steven Alan Green". jewishjournal.com. April 7, 2013.

  13 Copy quote

• Now a Jew, in the dictionary, is one who is descended from the ancient tribes of Judea, or one who is regarded as descended from that tribe. That's what it says in the dictionary; but you and I know what a Jew is - One Who Killed Our Lord. And although there should be a statute of limitations for that crime, it seems that those who neither have the actions nor the gait of Christians, pagan or not, will bust us out, unrelenting dues, for another deuce.

  Lenny Bruce

  Christian, Deuces, Tribes

  20 Copy quote

• The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

  Lenny Bruce

  Daughter, Mother, Guy

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  20 Copy quote

• I've talked to biblical cats, and Neanderthals who been here since day one. No one here has even seen the Big Boss. Ever.

  Lenny Bruce

  Cat, Biblical, Boss

  "The Lenny Bruce Interview, Jill Bourque’s How We First Met and Stage Time With Steven Alan Green". jewishjournal.com. April 7, 2013.

  8 Copy quote

• I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to work, starting your own religion is a license to print money.

  Lenny Bruce

  Scams, Gigs, Miami

  "The Lenny Bruce Interview, Jill Bourque’s How We First Met and Stage Time With Steven Alan Green". jewishjournal.com. April 7, 2013.

  15 Copy quote

• Part of the kick of making people laugh was doing something different. We were a rare breed - spotting one of us was like pinning a space alien, or abdominal snowman. There were maybe a hundred stand-ups in the whole country when I was doing it.

  Lenny Bruce

  Country, Space, People

  "The Lenny Bruce Interview, Jill Bourque’s How We First Met and Stage Time With Steven Alan Green". jewishjournal.com. April 7, 2013.

  22 Copy quote

• Every group needs a comedian. A comic who is politically incorrect at the Berkeley campus might slay them at a Klan rally.

  Lenny Bruce

  Comedian, Groups, Needs

  "The Lenny Bruce Interview, Jill Bourque’s How We First Met and Stage Time With Steven Alan Green". jewishjournal.com. April 7, 2013.

  13 Copy quote

• I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as taking money from someone else's pocket and putting it into mine, still remaining within the confines of the law.

  Lenny Bruce

  Funny, Money, Law

  Lenny Bruce (1992). “How to Talk Dirty and Influence People”, p.53, Simon and Schuster

  14 Copy quote

• The reason I'm in this business, I assume all performers are -- it's Look at me, Ma! It's acceptance, you know -- Look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma. And if your mother watches, you'll show off till you're exhausted; but if your mother goes, Ptshew!

  Lenny Bruce

  Mother, Acceptance, Entertainment

  15 Copy quote

• You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.

  Lenny Bruce

  Laughter, Pay, Sense Of Humor

  "The Lenny Bruce Interview, Jill Bourque’s How We First Met and Stage Time With Steven Alan Green". jewishjournal.com. April 7, 2013.

  9 Copy quote

• Satire is tragedy plus time.

  Lenny Bruce

  Tragedy, Human Nature, Satire

  10 Copy quote

• If you believe there is a God, a God that made your body, and yet you think that you can do anything with that body that's dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer.

  Lenny Bruce

  Lying, Believe, Dirty

  14 Copy quote

• Dig: I'm Jewish. Count Basie's Jewish. Ray Charles is Jewish. Eddie Cantor's goyish. B'nai B'rith is goyish; Hadassah, Jewish.
  If you live in New York or any other big city, you are Jewish. It doesn't matter even if you're Catholic; if you live in New York, you're Jewish. If you live in Butte, Montana, you're going to be goyish even if you're Jewish.

  Lenny Bruce

  New York, Cities, Catholic

  18 Copy quote

• Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.

  Lenny Bruce

  Sex, Children, Hollywood

  Lenny Bruce (1992). “How to Talk Dirty and Influence People”, p.14, Simon and Schuster

  8 Copy quote

• I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

  Lenny Bruce

  Kissing, Addiction, Young

  Quoted in Richard Neville, Playpower (1970)

  7 Copy quote

• Today's comedian has a cross to bear that he built himself. A comedian of the older generation did an act and he told the audience, This is my act. Today's comic is not doing an act. The audience assumes he's telling the truth. What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.

  Lenny Bruce

  Lying, Next Week, Comedian

  19 Copy quote

• Sex and obscenity are not synonymous.

  Lenny Bruce

  Sex, Obscenity, Obscene

  Lenny Bruce (1992). “How to Talk Dirty and Influence People”, p.127, Simon and Schuster

  47 Copy quote

• All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.

  Lenny Bruce

  Despair, Destruction

  13 Copy quote

• Marijuana is rejected all over the world. Damned. In England heroin is alright for out-patents, but marijuana? They'll put your ass in jail. I wonder why that is? The only reason could be: To Serve the Devil - Pleasure! Pleasure, which is a dirty word in Christian culture.

  Lenny Bruce

  Christian, Dirty, Marijuana

  15 Copy quote

• You put a guy on a desert island, he'll do it to mud, a chicken, a barrel, anything, a knothole.

  Lenny Bruce

  Islands, Guy, Desert

  12 Copy quote

• Communism is like one big phone company.

  Lenny Bruce

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  12 Copy quote

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