Bill Bailey Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• Thank God for Darwin, eh?

  Bill Bailey

  Funny, Humor, Thank God

  "Dandelion Mind". Documentary, Comedy, 2010.

  11 Copy quote

• The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.

  Bill Bailey

  Funny, Humor, Alive

  "Bill Bailey: Part Troll". Documentary, Comedy, Music, www.imdb.com. 2004.

  4 Copy quote

• Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!

  Bill Bailey

  Funny, Humor, Three

  "Is It Bill Bailey? (Episode 1)". Stand up / sketch comedy series by Bill Bailey, February 20, 1998.

  13 Copy quote

• I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?'

  Bill Bailey

  Funny, Morning, Sorry

  "Tinselworm". Documentary, Comedy, 2008.

  11 Copy quote

• I'm quite lucky, because I've got a small, decorative concrete pig.

  Bill Bailey

  Funny, Humor, Pigs

  "Cosmic Jam". Bill Bailey's live at London's Bloomsbury Theatre, 1995.

  5 Copy quote

• There's more evil in the charts than an Al-Qaeda suggestion box.

  Bill Bailey

  Funny, Humor, Evil

  "Bill Bailey: Part Troll". Documentary, Comedy, Music, 2004.

  15 Copy quote

• I got ham but I'm not a Hamster

  Bill Bailey

  Funny, Humor, Ham

  "Bill Bailey: Tinselworm". Documentary, Comedy, 2008.

  24 Copy quote

• Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.

  Bill Bailey

  Funny, Humor, Sound

  "Tinselworm". World Tour, 2008.

  18 Copy quote

• A feminist jumps out of a manhole - oh, and she didn't like that.

  Bill Bailey

  Funny, Humor, Feminist

  4 Copy quote

• I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars... I'm not bitter at all.

  Bill Bailey

  Funny, Humor, Dollars

  "Bill Bailey: Dandelion Mind". TV Special, November 22, 2010.

  13 Copy quote

• I tend to go through periods worrying, "Where am I going, I can't see a way out of this," and it becomes quite stressful. But sometimes you have to take a bet on yourself.

  Bill Bailey

  Worry, Way, Sometimes

  Source: www.telegraph.co.uk

  15 Copy quote

• Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.

  Bill Bailey

  Funny, Humor, Swans

  "Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra". Comedy, Music, May 9, 2009.

  38 Copy quote

• The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don't have these.

  Bill Bailey

  Running, Kings, Law

  Source: www.telegraph.co.uk

  8 Copy quote

• Marijuana? It's harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it

  Bill Bailey

  Fashion, Marijuana, Clubs

  "Bewilderness in New York". Audio CD Album by Bill Bailey, March 2002.

  10 Copy quote

• Work hard, save and live within your means.

  Bill Bailey

  Hard Work, Mean, Hard

  Source: www.telegraph.co.uk

  10 Copy quote

• Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it.

  Bill Bailey

  Orange, Laughing, Lavender

  56 Copy quote

• I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.

  Bill Bailey

  Funny, Humor, Organization

  4 Copy quote

• The scotch egg is such a Scottish food. It's as though a great Scottish chef said: I need a tasty snack. Let's take an egg... and wrap it in meat!! Makes it a bit harder.

  Bill Bailey

  Funny, Humor, Scotch

  "Never Mind the Buzzcocks". Comedy, Game-Show, Music, 1996 - 2015.

  9 Copy quote

• I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.

  Bill Bailey

  Funny, Humor, Ducks

  5 Copy quote

• What I'd like to do now - well, what I'd like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it into my pubes and strum it like a harp.

  Bill Bailey

  Funny, Humor, Long

  "Cosmic Jam". Bill Bailey's live at London's Bloomsbury Theatre, 1995.

  25 Copy quote

• My wife bought me a vintage Gibson guitar that isn't just beautiful but has tremendous sentimental value. I have plenty of guitars for live gigs but this is one to treasure.

  Bill Bailey

  Beautiful, Guitar, Vintage

  Source: www.telegraph.co.uk

  10 Copy quote

• Nostalgia: How long's that been around?

  Bill Bailey

  Funny, Humor, Long

  TV Series "Is It Bill Bailey?", 1998.

  4 Copy quote

• Aldous Huxley took the drug mescaline and then chronicled his experience in the book The Doors of Perception. Now, I don't actually think that's the first thing he wrote: he probably wrote 'my brain is melting' ten thousand times, but it was the book that the critics latched on to.

  Bill Bailey

  Funny, Book, Humor

  "Is It Bill Bailey?". Comedy, Music, 1998.

  6 Copy quote

• If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that's undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.

  Bill Bailey

  Thinking, Enough, Easier

  Source: www.telegraph.co.uk

  7 Copy quote

• Live comedy's a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You're only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.

  Bill Bailey

  Gigs, Lasts, Earning

  Source: www.telegraph.co.uk

  10 Copy quote

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