The real news has gotten more surreal and absurd, and my fake news, if you want to call it that, has gotten more plausible. And at some point, those two trend lines crossed.
As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.
I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.
Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.
Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.
The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.
The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.
Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.
A Romney presidency will be awesome unless you're poor, sick, gay, female, Mexican or a dog.
Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.
It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.
If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.
If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.
It used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that.
Let's not let a few dumb things Mitt Romney said in private overshadow the many idiotic things he's said in public.
Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.
The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about.
The separation of church and state has been a cornerstone of American democracy for over two hundred years. Getting rid of it was long overdue.
Weirdly, the people complaining about the healthcare website not working after three weeks were quiet about the Iraq war not working after eight years.
Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy.
Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.
Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.
We invaded Afghanistan to find bin Laden. We found him in Pakistan, and we're still in Afghanistan. We need better GPS.
Didn't we settle contraception & affirmative action? If the GOP keep going backwards they'll soon be debating slavery.
Facebook's new relationship status option: "No longer able to interact with actual people"
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