As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.
Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.
The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.
Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.
The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.
I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.
Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.
Weirdly, the people complaining about the healthcare website not working after three weeks were quiet about the Iraq war not working after eight years.
If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.
It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.
Let's not let a few dumb things Mitt Romney said in private overshadow the many idiotic things he's said in public.
It used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that.
Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.
The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about.
Michele Bachmann says God made the earthquake and hurricane to punish us. Untrue - he made Michele Bachmann for that.
We invaded Afghanistan to find bin Laden. We found him in Pakistan, and we're still in Afghanistan. We need better GPS.
Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a "religious" meaning.
Facebook's new relationship status option: "No longer able to interact with actual people"
To mark the hundredth anniversary of the Titanic, the Republicans have nominated Mitt Romney.
If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.
On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations.
Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part.
Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.
Didn't we settle contraception & affirmative action? If the GOP keep going backwards they'll soon be debating slavery.
Welcome delegates to the 2012 Republican Convention! Remember to set your watches back 400 years.
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