Les Dawson Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• I'm not saying my mother didn't like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate.

  Les Dawson

  Mother, Birth, Certificates

  Les Dawson (2012). “Les Dawson's Joke Book”, p.52, Michael O'Mara Books

  9 Copy quote

• I toyed with the idea of playing Ravel's 'Pavane pour une infante defunte' but I couldn't remember if it's a tune or Latin prescription for piles.

  Les Dawson

  Latin, Ideas, Tunes

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  22 Copy quote

• I don't mind what the critics say, so long as I get some reaction. The worst thing is to be ignored.

  Les Dawson

  Long, Mind, Self Improvement

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  20 Copy quote

• My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind.

  Les Dawson

  Mother, Wrinkles, Law

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  7 Copy quote

• I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

  Les Dawson

  Funny, Life, Hilarious

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  19 Copy quote

• I've got a friend who is a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher till he lost his nerve.

  Les Dawson

  Teacher, School, Nerves

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  8 Copy quote

• Everyone has a family tree; the Dawsons have one, it's a weeping willow.

  Les Dawson

  Family, Tree, Weeping Willows

  12 Copy quote

• I need to give affection and love, because without that, I wither. I need to give that love to someone. Without that, I'm rudderless.

  Les Dawson

  Love Is, Giving, And Love

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  8 Copy quote

• I knew I'd chosen the wrong airline when I noticed the sick bag had the Lord's Prayer on it.

  Les Dawson

  Funny, Travel, Prayer

  7 Copy quote

• I'd like to thank the BBC for allowing me to work here. And I'd like to thank the wife and kids for making it necessary.

  Les Dawson

  Kids, Wife, Allowing

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  10 Copy quote

• I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me.

  Les Dawson

  Wife, Thank God, Hissing

  Les Dawson (2012). “Les Dawson's Joke Book”, p.31, Michael O'Mara Books

  7 Copy quote

• He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.

  Les Dawson

  Sex, Ambition, Practicals

  9 Copy quote

• The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig.

  Les Dawson

  Mother, Law, Oil

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  8 Copy quote

• With wives, men hide behind the air of bravado, which is basically a defence mechanism, I think. Clever creatures, women. Very clever.

  Les Dawson

  Clever, Men, Thinking

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  10 Copy quote

• How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.

  Les Dawson

  Personal Things

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  7 Copy quote

• Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finishes up.

  Les Dawson

  Marriage, Couple, Sex Maniac

  Les Dawson (2013). “No Tears for the Clown: An Autobiography”, p.95, Michael O'Mara Books

  7 Copy quote

• Despite the fact that feminists say they're not getting a fair deal, women are still very powerful.

  Les Dawson

  Powerful, Feminist, Facts

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  4 Copy quote

• The mother-in-law is the centre of a family.

  Les Dawson

  Mother, Law, Centre

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  17 Copy quote

• I'm the most unromantic lump of Northern suet. Yes, a woman did accost me once in South Shields, but she had a face like Red Rum.

  Les Dawson

  Shields, Red, Faces

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  4 Copy quote

• I know my name will always be linked with women.

  Les Dawson

  Names, Knows, Linked

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  4 Copy quote

• Slumps don't bother me.

  Les Dawson

  Slumps, Bother

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  4 Copy quote

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