I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom.
Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have time.
If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
... all my life I've been terrible at remembering people's names. I once introduced a friend of mine as Martini. Her name was actually Olive.
Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.
I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right.
For acting, darlings, is the world's most perilous trade. Compared with actors, steeple jacks and deep-sea divers lead snug and placid lives.
I thought I told you to wait in the car.
I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education.
I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water: I hate to go to bed, I hate to get up, and I hate to be alone.
They used to photograph Shirley Temple through gauze. They should photograph me through linoleum.
Fill what is empty, empty what is full, and scratch where it itches.
If you really want to help the American theater, don't be an actress, dahling. Be an audience.
Drink reacts on its practitioners in conflicting ways. One brave can knock off a quart of Scotch and look and act as sober as Herbert Hoover. Another, after three Martinis, makes two-cushion carroms off the chaise lounge as he attempts to negotiate the bathroom.
I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic, and the others either give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.
No man worth his salt, no man of spirit and spine, no man for whom I could have any respect, could rejoice in the identification of Tallulah's husband. It's tough enough to be bogged down in a legend. It would be even tougher to marry one.
Do you know what my ambition is in life? To be without ambition. As far back as I can remember I've been absolutely hag-ridden. I'd like to attain the state of mind that the Indians call Nirvana. That, for me, would happen if I were free of ambition.
If I were well behaved, I'd die of boredom.
They aren't making mirrors like they use to.
Too many of our countrymen rejoice in stupidity, look upon ignorance as a badge of honor. They condemn everything they don't understand.
The less I behave like Whistler's mother the night before, the more I look like her the morning after.
Say anything about me, darling, as long as it isn't boring.
Will TV kill the theater? If the programs I have seen, save for "Kukla, Fran and Ollie," the ball games and the fights, are any criterion, the theater need not wake up in a cold sweat.
(On seeing a former lover for the first time in years) I thought I told you to wait in the car.
It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
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