I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom.
If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have time.
Too many of our countrymen rejoice in stupidity, look upon ignorance as a badge of honor. They condemn everything they don't understand.
... all my life I've been terrible at remembering people's names. I once introduced a friend of mine as Martini. Her name was actually Olive.
My father warned me about men and booze but he never said anything about women and cocaine.
Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.
Say anything about me, darling, as long as it isn't boring.
I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right.
I thought I told you to wait in the car.
I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water: I hate to go to bed, I hate to get up, and I hate to be alone.
Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know, I've been using it for years
I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic, and the others either give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.
They used to photograph Shirley Temple through gauze. They should photograph me through linoleum.
They aren't making mirrors like they use to.
For acting, darlings, is the world's most perilous trade. Compared with actors, steeple jacks and deep-sea divers lead snug and placid lives.
If you really want to help the American theater, don't be an actress, dahling. Be an audience.
If I were well behaved, I'd die of boredom.
I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education.
[On being asked in her later years if she were Tallulah:] I'm what's left of her, dahling.
The less I behave like Whistler's mother the night before, the more I look like her the morning after.
Fill what is empty, empty what is full, and scratch where it itches.
No man worth his salt, no man of spirit and spine, no man for whom I could have any respect, could rejoice in the identification of Tallulah's husband. It's tough enough to be bogged down in a legend. It would be even tougher to marry one.
They say it's the good girls who keep diaries. The bad girls never have the time. Me, I just wanna live a life I'm gonna remember even if I don't write it down.
[To the critic who wrote a negative review:] I am sitting in the smallest room of the house. Your review is before me. Soon it will be behind me.
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