Funny Coffee Quotes - Page 2

• Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

  Bill Cosby

  Birthday, Funny Life, Mistake

  Bill Cosby (1987). “Time Flies”

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• Kerouac opened a million coffee bars and sold a million pairs of Levis to both sexes. Woodstock rises from his pages.

  William S. Burroughs

  Sex, Hippie, Coffee

  The Adding Machine "Remembering Jack Kerouac" (1985)

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• Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.

  Earl Wilson

  Coffee, Communication, Office

  "Fostering global discourse: it's time to embrace distance learning" by Kit Jones, www.theguardian.com. September 18, 2012.

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• Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

  Conan O'Brien

  Funny, Religious, Jesus

  85 Copy quote

• Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love.

  Charles Maurice de Talleyrand

  Love, Sweet, Coffee

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• I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, 'Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.'

  Jim Carrey

  Good Morning, Beautiful, Coffee

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• What is this demilitarized zone? Whatever it is, I like it! Gets you on your toes better than a strong cup of cappuccino.

  Robin Williams

  Strong, Coffee, Vietnam

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• Coffee: Induces wit. Good only if it comes through Havre. After a big dinner party it is taken standing up. Take it without sugar - very swank: gives the impression you have lived in the East.

  Gustave Flaubert

  Party, Coffee, Taken

  Gustave Flaubert (1968). “Dictionary of Accepted Ideas”, p.24, New Directions Publishing

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• Coffee is good for talent, but genius wants prayer.

  Ralph Waldo Emerson

  Prayer, Coffee, Genius

  Ralph Waldo Emerson (1969). “Journals and Miscellaneous Notebooks of Ralph Waldo Emerson, Volume VII: 1838-1842”, p.451, Harvard University Press

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• Thank you for your coffee, seignior. I shall miss that when we leave Casablanca.

  Ingrid Bergman

  Coffee, Missing

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• During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn't have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.

  Bill Maher

  Gratitude, Coffee, Book

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• You make good coffee . . . You're a slob, but you make good coffee.

  Cher

  Coffee, Espresso, Good Coffee

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• A 41-inch bust and a lot of perseverance will get you more than a cup of coffee - a lot more.

  Jayne Mansfield

  Perseverance, Coffee, Cups

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• I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now.

  Louisa May Alcott

  Coffee, Little Women, Compliment

  J. M. Barrie, Charles Dickens, Johanna Spyri, Louisa May Alcott, L. Frank Baum (2015). “Greatest Christmas Novels in One Volume: Life and Adventures of Santa Claus, Heidi, The Romance of a Christmas Card, The Little City of Hope, The Wonderful Life, Little Women, Anne of Green Gables, Little Lord Fauntleroy, Peter Pan…”, p.1006, e-artnow

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• I like my coffee with cream and my literature with optimism.

  Abigail Reynolds

  Coffee, Optimism, Literature

  Abigail Reynolds (2010). “Man Who Loved Pride and Prejudice: A modern love story with a Jane Austen twist”, p.27, Sourcebooks, Inc.

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• Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

  Dave Barry

  Coffee, Ice Cream, Cake

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• I'll quit coffee. It won't be easy drinking my Bailey's straight, but I'll get used to it. It'll still be the best part of waking up.

  Megan Mullally

  Women, Drinking, Coffee

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• When traveling with someone, take large does of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee.

  Helen Hayes

  Travel, Morning, Coffee

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• Cocaine is like really evil coffee.

  Courtney Love

  Coffee, Evil, Cocaine

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

  Lewis Black

  Coffee, Giving, Might

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• Coffee in England always tastes like a chemistry experiment.

  Agatha Christie

  Coffee, Taste, England

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• If you think you have it tough, read history books.

  Bill Maher

  Coffee, Book, Thinking

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• Espresso is to Italy, what champagne is to France.

  Charles Maurice de Talleyrand

  Coffee, Espresso, France

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• The average American's simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak.

  Mark Twain

  Coffee, Average, Breakfast

  Mark Twain (2004). “Mark Twain’s Helpful Hints for Good Living: A Handbook for the Damned Human Race”, p.63, Univ of California Press

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• Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

  Gerard Way

  Drinking, Coffee, Smoking

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