Robert Benchley Quotes - Page 6

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• The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. That remark in itself wouldn't make any sense if quoted as it stands.

  Robert Benchley

  Men, Monkeys, Way

  Robert Benchley (1951). “My ten years in a quandary and how they grew”

  4 Copy quote

• I haven't been abroad in so long that I almost speak English without an accent now.

  Robert Benchley

  Travel, Speak English, Long

  1938 After1903-What?

  4 Copy quote

• Next to a shot of some good, habit-forming narcotic, there is nothing like travelling alone as a 'builder-upper.

  Robert Benchley

  Solitude, Next, Habit

  Robert Benchley (1976). “Chips Off the Old Benchley”, Amereon Limited

  7 Copy quote

• Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street and not to have the impulse to rush downstairs and out on to the sidewalk.

  Robert Benchley

  Men, Band, Aging

  Robert Benchley (1932). “No Poems”

  16 Copy quote

• The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

  Robert Benchley

  Writing, Typewriters, Ribbons

  Chips off the old Benchley (1949) "Learn to Write"

  9 Copy quote

• There is probably no moment more appalling than that in which the tongue comes suddenly upon the ragged edge of a space from which the old familiar filling has disappeared.

  Robert Benchley

  Space, Tongue, Moments

  Robert Benchley (1946). “One Minute, Please”

  4 Copy quote

• There are several natural phenomena which I shall have to have explained to me before I can keep on going as a resident member ofthe human race. One is the metamorphosis which hats and suits undergo exactly one week after their purchase, whereby they are changed from smart, intensely becoming articles of apparel into something children use when they want to "dress up like daddy.

  Robert Benchley

  Children, Smart, Race

  Robert Benchley (1946). “20,000 leagues under the sea: or, David Copperfield”

  4 Copy quote

• Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it.

  Robert Benchley

  Track, Trying, Skins

  9 Copy quote

• What is the disease which manifests itself in an inability to leave a party--any party at all--until it is all over and the lightsare being put out?... I suppose that part of this mania for staying is due to a fear that, if I go, something good will happen and I'll miss it. Somebody might do card tricks, or shoot somebody else.

  Robert Benchley

  Party, Missing, Curiosity

  4 Copy quote

• For most visitors to Manhattan, both foreign and domestic, New York is the Shrine of the Good Time. "I don't see how you stand it," they often say to the native New Yorker who has been sitting up past his bedtime for a week in an attempt to tire his guest out. "It's all right for a week or so, but give me the little old home town when it comes to living." And, under his breath, the New Yorker endorses the transfer and wonders himself how he stands it.

  Robert Benchley

  New York, Home, Past

  4 Copy quote

• One of the chief duties of the fan is to engage in arguments with the man behind him. This department of the game has been allowed to run down fearfully.

  Robert Benchley

  Baseball, Running, Men

  Robert Benchley (2010). “The Athletic Benchley: 105 Exercises from the Detroit Athletic Club News”, Glendower Media

  7 Copy quote

• One of the great natural phenomena is the way in which a tube of toothpaste suddenly empties itself when it hears that you are planning a trip, so that when you come to pack it is just a twisted shell of its former self, with not even a cubic millimeter left to be squeezed out.

  Robert Benchley

  Travel, Self, Shells

  Robert Benchley (1928). “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: Or, David Cooperfield”

  7 Copy quote

• If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios.

  Robert Benchley

  Writing, Would Be, Alive

  Robert Benchley (1943). “Benchley beside himself”

  4 Copy quote

• I can remember the day when all that a professor was supposed to do was to mark "C minus" on students' examination papers, then gohome to tea. Nowadays they seem to feel that they must know just how much we (outside the university) eat, what we do with our spare time, and how we like our eggs.

  Robert Benchley

  Eggs, Tea, Paper

  Robert Benchley (1943). “Benchley beside himself”

  4 Copy quote

• Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But my white suit seems to be a little whiter than theirs. I think also that it may have something written on the back of it, although I can't find it when I take the suit off.

  Robert Benchley

  Summer, Men, Thinking

  Robert Benchley (1951). “My ten years in a quandary and how they grew”

  4 Copy quote

• The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is considered true to life whichdoes not include at least two hypochondriacs, one sadist, and one old man who spills food down the front of his vest.

  Robert Benchley

  Family, Country, Character

  Robert Benchley (1922). “Love Conquers All”

  8 Copy quote

• I can't quite define my aversion to asking questions of strangers. From snatches of family battles which I have heard drifting up from railway stations and street corners, I gather that there are a great many men who share my dislike for it, as well as an equal number of women who ... believe it to be the solution to most of this world's problems.

  Robert Benchley

  Believe, Men, Numbers

  Robert Benchley (1954). “The Benchley Roundup”

  54 Copy quote

• Who has not wished that his host would come out frankly at the beginning of the visit and state, in no uncertain terms, the rulesand preferences of the household in such matters as the breakfast hour? And who has not sounded out his guest to find out what he likes in the regulation of his diet and modus vivendi (mode of living)?

  Robert Benchley

  Breakfast, Guests, Regulation

  Robert Benchley (1925). “Of All Things”

  4 Copy quote

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