Ambrose Bierce Quotes - Page 21

• A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Writing, Nonsense

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.189, University of Georgia Press

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• QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another - usually about as many times as it can be got there.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Money, Numbers, Pockets

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.174, 谷月社

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• NEWTONIAN, Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Philosophy, Fall, Science

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.149, 谷月社

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• Adolescence: A stage between infancy and adultery.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Inspirational, Teenage, Adultery

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• ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though Horizontalists hold that the posture of the body was immaterial.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Men, Heaven, Growing

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.241, 谷月社

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• prospect, n. An outlook, usually forbidding. An expectation, usually forbidden.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Expectations, Outlook, Forbidden

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.189, University of Georgia Press

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• General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Funny, Military, Enemy

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.229, 谷月社

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• Intolerance is natural and logical, for in every dissenting opinion lies an assumption of superior wisdom.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Lying, Opinion, Assumption

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.1223, Delphi Classics

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• A bad workman quarrels with the man who calls him that.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Men, He Man, Incompetence

  Ambrose Bierce (2012). “The Devil's Dictionary”, p.114, Courier Corporation

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• That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity

  Ambrose Bierce

  Friendship, Adversity, Privilege

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.22, University of Georgia Press

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• The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forebearance among men.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Christian, Children, Humorous

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• Behavior, n. Conduct, as determined, not by principle, but by breeding.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Principles, Determined, Behavior

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2363, Delphi Classics

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• Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Hunger, Instinct, Appetite

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.16, University of Georgia Press

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• LAOCOON, n. A famous piece of antique scripture representing a priest of that name and his two sons in the folds of two enormous serpents. The skill and diligence with which the old man and lads support the serpents and keep them up to their work have been justly regarded as one of the noblest artistic illustrations of the mastery of human intelligence over brute inertia.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Son, Men, Illustration

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.163, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapacity.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Fool, Incapacity, Distinction

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.51, 谷月社

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• When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Forgiving, Enemy, Haste

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• RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Player, Politics, Dice

  Ambrose Bierce, S. T. Joshi, David E. Schultz (2000). “The Fall of the Republic and Other Political Satires”, p.235, Univ. of Tennessee Press

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• No country is so wild and difficult but men will make it a theater of war.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Country, War, Men

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “A Son of the Gods and Horseman in the Sky”, p.17, Read Books Ltd

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• Noise: a stench in the ear.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Silence, Ears, Noise

  Ambrose Bierce (2011). “Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary, Tales, and Memoirs: The Devil's Dictionary, Tales, and Memoirs”, p.732, Library of America

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• An auctioneer is a man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Business, Men, Pockets

  Cynic's Word Book (1906) p. 24

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• Respectability, n. The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Bank Accounts, Liaison, Offspring

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.183, 谷月社

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• Road, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Travel, Journey, Land

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.203, University of Georgia Press

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• HIBERNATE, v. i. To pass the winter season in domestic seclusion. There have been many singular popular notions about the hibernation of various animals. Many believe that the bear hibernates during the whole winter and subsists by mechanically sucking its paws. It is admitted that it comes out of its retirement in the spring so lean that it has to try twice before it can cast a shadow.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Retirement, Spring, Believe

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2418, Delphi Classics

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• GRAVITATION, n. The tendency of all bodies to approach one another with a strength proportioned to the quantity of matter they contain-the quantity of matter they contain being ascertained by the strength of their tendency to approach one another. This is a lovely and edifying illustration of how science, having made A the proof of B, makes B the proof of A.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Illustration, Lovely

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.100, University of Georgia Press

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• GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These, by some occult process of nature, are penetrated and suffused with various degrees of the bird's intellectual energies and emotional character, so that when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling. The difference in geese, as discovered by this ingenious method, is considerable: many are found to have only trivial and insignificant powers, but some are seen to be very great geese indeed.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Writing, Character, Science

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.78, 谷月社

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