Ambrose Bierce Quotes - Page 24

• A bad workman quarrels with the man who calls him that.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Men, He Man, Incompetence

  Ambrose Bierce (2012). “The Devil's Dictionary”, p.114, Courier Corporation

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• Intolerance is natural and logical, for in every dissenting opinion lies an assumption of superior wisdom.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Lying, Opinion, Assumption

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.1223, Delphi Classics

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• Road, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Travel, Journey, Land

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.203, University of Georgia Press

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• MARTYR, One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Death, Moving, Lines

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2460, Delphi Classics

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• LUMINARY, One who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not writing about it.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Writing, Light, Editors

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.133, 谷月社

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• POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Police, Protection, Force

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.184, University of Georgia Press

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• VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Virtue, Certain, Certainty

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.230, 谷月社

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• Empty wine bottles have a bad opinion of women.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Food, Wine, Bottles

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2696, Delphi Classics

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• Scribbler, n. A professional writer whose views are antagonistic to one's own.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Writing, Views

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2513, Delphi Classics

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• ADDER, n. A species of snake. So called from its habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Snakes, Funeral

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.12, University of Georgia Press

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• APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and grave worm's provider

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Physicians, Graves

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.12, 谷月社

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• ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Arsenic, Cosmetics

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2357, Delphi Classics

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• DIAPHRAGM, n. A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Disorder, Bowels

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.56, University of Georgia Press

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• EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Function, Humour

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2387, Delphi Classics

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• GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These, by some occult process of nature, are penetrated and suffused with various degrees of the bird's intellectual energies and emotional character, so that when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling. The difference in geese, as discovered by this ingenious method, is considerable: many are found to have only trivial and insignificant powers, but some are seen to be very great geese indeed.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Writing, Character, Science

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.78, 谷月社

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• GRAVITATION, n. The tendency of all bodies to approach one another with a strength proportioned to the quantity of matter they contain-the quantity of matter they contain being ascertained by the strength of their tendency to approach one another. This is a lovely and edifying illustration of how science, having made A the proof of B, makes B the proof of A.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Illustration, Lovely

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.100, University of Georgia Press

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• HIBERNATE, v. i. To pass the winter season in domestic seclusion. There have been many singular popular notions about the hibernation of various animals. Many believe that the bear hibernates during the whole winter and subsists by mechanically sucking its paws. It is admitted that it comes out of its retirement in the spring so lean that it has to try twice before it can cast a shadow.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Retirement, Spring, Believe

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2418, Delphi Classics

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• PROOF, n. Evidence having a shade more of plausibility than of unlikelihood. The testimony of two credible witnesses as opposed to that of only one.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Two, Shade

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.238, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Giving, Fool

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2492, Delphi Classics

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• REACH, n. The radius of action of the human hand. The area within which it is possible (and customary) to gratify directly the propensity to provide.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Hands, Action, Propensity

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.176, 谷月社

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• JESTER, n. An officer attached to the king's household to amuse the court by ludicrous actions and utterances . . . the king's own conduct and decrees [being] sufficiently ridiculous for the amusement not only of his court but of all mankind.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Kings, Utterance, Amusement

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• ABNORMAL, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested. Wherefore the lexicographer adviseth a striving toward the straiter [sic] resemblance of the Average Man than he hath to himself. Whoso attaineth thereto shall have peace, the prospect of death and the hope of Hell.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Independent, Men, Average

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.3, 谷月社

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• CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another. When Zeno was told that one of his enemies was no more he was observed to be deeply moved. "What!" said one of his disciples, "you weep at the death of an enemy?" "Ah, 'tis true," replied the great Stoic; "but you should see me smile at the death of a friend.".

  Ambrose Bierce

  Evil, Death Of A Friend, Enemy

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.31, University of Georgia Press

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• SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity. Its habit of incubating its eggs in a ball of ordure may also have commended it to the favor of the priesthood, and may some day assure it an equal reverence among ourselves. True, the American beetle is an inferior beetle, but the American priest is an inferior priest.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Eggs, Giving, Sacred

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 18pt Edition”, p.328, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. The Primate of England is the Archbishop of Canterbury, an amiable old gentleman, who occupies Lambeth Palace when living and Westminster Abbey when dead. He is commonly dead.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Gentleman, Church, Palaces

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.171, 谷月社

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