Ambrose Bierce Quotes - Page 22

• NEWTONIAN, Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Philosophy, Fall, Science

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.149, 谷月社

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• Condole - to show that bereavement is a smaller evil than sympathy.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Evil, Bereavement, Shows

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.34, 谷月社

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• Learning -the kind of ignorance affected by (and affecting) civilized races, as distinguished from ignorance, the sort of learning incurred by savages. See nonsense.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Learning, Ignorance, Race

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• UNITARIAN, n. One who denies the divinity of a Trinitarian.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Divinity, Deny, Unitarian

  Ambrose Bierce (2012). “The Devil's Dictionary”, p.132, Courier Corporation

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• IMBECILITY, n. A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Inspiration, Fire, Divinity

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.117, University of Georgia Press

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• ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though Horizontalists hold that the posture of the body was immaterial.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Men, Heaven, Growing

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.241, 谷月社

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• GNOSTICS, n. A sect of philosophers who tried to engineer a fusion between the early Christians and the Platonists. The former would not go into the caucus and the combination failed, greatly to the chagrin of the fusion managers.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Christian, Failure, Fusion

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.97, University of Georgia Press

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• Hurry n: The dispatch of bunglers.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Haste

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.94, 谷月社

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• NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Party, Grandmother, Office

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.149, 谷月社

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• GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Machines, Reason

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.81, 谷月社

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• GOOD, adj. Sensible, madam, to the worth of this present writer. Alive, sir, to the advantages of letting him alone.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Alive, Advantage, Sensible

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.98, University of Georgia Press

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• QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another - usually about as many times as it can be got there.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Money, Numbers, Pockets

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.174, 谷月社

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• TZETZE (or TSETSE) FLY, n. An African insect ("Glossina morsitans") whose bite is commonly regarded as nature's most efficacious remedy for insomnia, though some patients prefer that of the American novelist ("Mendax interminabilis").

  Ambrose Bierce

  Nature, Insomnia, Novelists

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.226, 谷月社

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• PHYSIOGNOMY, n. The art of determining the character of another by the resemblances and differences between his face and our own, which is the standard of excellence.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Art, Character, Differences

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.181, University of Georgia Press

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• Duck-bill, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Ducks, Bills, Canvas

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.48, 谷月社

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• PLEONASM, n. An army of words escorting a corporal of thought.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Army, Escorting

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.184, University of Georgia Press

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• OBSOLETE, adj. No longer used by the timid. Said chiefly of words. A word which some lexicographer has marked obsolete is ever thereafter an object of dread and loathing to the fool writer . . .

  Ambrose Bierce

  Lexicographer, Fool, Loathing

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.152, 谷月社

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• IGNORAMUS, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Knowledge, Science, Kind

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.117, University of Georgia Press

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• CONSOLATION, n. The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Knowledge, Men, Consolation

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.41, University of Georgia Press

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• PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Pockets, Phrenology

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.181, University of Georgia Press

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• ORTHOGRAPHY, n. The science of spelling by the eye instead of the ear.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Eye, Science, Ears

  Ambrose Bierce (1996). “Poems of Ambrose Bierce”, p.75, U of Nebraska Press

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• FORCE, n. "Force is but might," the teacher said p/ "That definition's just."/ The boy said naught but throught instead,/ Remembering his pounded head:/ "Force is not might but must!"

  Ambrose Bierce

  Teacher, Boys, Justice

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• DECALOGUE, n. A series of commandments, ten in number - just enough to permit an intelligent selection for observance, but not enough to embarrass the choice.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Intelligent, Numbers, Justice

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.41, 谷月社

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• POETRY, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Expression, Land, Poetry

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.166, 谷月社

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• WEATHER, n. The climate of an hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does not interest, but who have inherited the tendency to chatter about it from naked arboreal ancestors whom it keenly concerned. The setting up of official weather bureaus and their maintenance in mendacity prove that even governments are accessible to suasion by the rude forefathers of the jungle.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Weather, Government, Rude

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.232, 谷月社

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