Ambrose Bierce Quotes - Page 22

• DIAPHRAGM, n. A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Disorder, Bowels

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.56, University of Georgia Press

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• ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Arsenic, Cosmetics

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2357, Delphi Classics

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• APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and grave worm's provider

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Physicians, Graves

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.12, 谷月社

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• ADDER, n. A species of snake. So called from its habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Snakes, Funeral

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.12, University of Georgia Press

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• Scribbler, n. A professional writer whose views are antagonistic to one's own.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Writing, Views

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2513, Delphi Classics

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• VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Virtue, Certain, Certainty

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.230, 谷月社

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• Patriotism: The first resort of a scoundrel.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Patriotism, Firsts, Scoundrels

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• MARTYR, One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Death, Moving, Lines

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2460, Delphi Classics

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• PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. The Primate of England is the Archbishop of Canterbury, an amiable old gentleman, who occupies Lambeth Palace when living and Westminster Abbey when dead. He is commonly dead.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Gentleman, Church, Palaces

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.171, 谷月社

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• TECHNICALITY, n. In an English court a man named Home was tried for slander in having accused his neighbor of murder. His exact words were: "Sir Thomas Holt hath taken a cleaver and stricken his cook upon the head, so that one side of the head fell upon one shoulder and the other side upon the other shoulder." The defendant was acquitted by instruction of the court, the learned judges holding that the words did not charge murder, for they did not affirm the death of the cook, that being only an inference.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Taken, Home, Men

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2526, Delphi Classics

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• Theology is a thing of unreason altogether, an edifice of assumptions and dreams, a superstructure without a substructure

  Ambrose Bierce

  Dream, Assumption, Theology

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2734, Delphi Classics

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• While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Sarcastic, Hands, Watches

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.68, University of Georgia Press

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• LIMB, n. The branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Women, Tree, Legs

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.151, University of Georgia Press

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• SEINE, n. A kind of net for effecting an involuntary change of environment. For fish it is made strong and coarse, but women are more easily taken with a singularly delicate fabric weighted with small, cut stones.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Change, Strong, Taken

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.213, University of Georgia Press

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• Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Nature, Cat, Circles

  Ambrose Bierce (2006). “Terror by Night: Classic Ghost and Horror Stories”, p.9, Wordsworth Editions

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• ENTERTAINMENT, n. Any kind of amusement whose inroads stop short of death by injection.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Death, Kindness, Amusement

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.71, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Leadership, School, Nihilist

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.149, 谷月社

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• A popular vote to ascertain the will of the sovereign.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Popular Vote, Sovereign, Vote

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “The Devil's Dictionary: Complete & Unabridged”, p.195, Courier Corporation

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• HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Vices, Hermits, Folly

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.110, University of Georgia Press

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• A trite popular saying, or proverb. (Figurative and colloquial.) So called because it makes its way into a wooden head. Following are examples of old saws fitted with new teeth.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Example, Teeth, Way

  Ambrose Bierce (2012). “The Devil's Dictionary”, p.114, Courier Corporation

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• NOVEL, n. A short story padded.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Stories, Literature, Novel

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.151, 谷月社

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• Conversation: A fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Inspirational, Commodity, Neighbor

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2374, Delphi Classics

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• Botany, n. The science of vegetables - those that are not good to eat, as well as those that are. It deals largely with their flowers, which are commonly badly designed, inartistic in color, and ill-smelling.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Flower, Color, Vegetables

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.28, University of Georgia Press

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• Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Life, God, Christian

  Ambrose Bierce (2007). “Essential Bierce: A Selection of the Writings of Ambrose Bierce”, Heyday Books

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• WEATHER, n. The climate of an hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does not interest, but who have inherited the tendency to chatter about it from naked arboreal ancestors whom it keenly concerned. The setting up of official weather bureaus and their maintenance in mendacity prove that even governments are accessible to suasion by the rude forefathers of the jungle.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Weather, Government, Rude

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.232, 谷月社

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