Jon Stewart Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• Yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that one day we may live in an America where Christians can worship freely! In broad daylight! Openly wearing the symbols of their religion... perhaps around their necks? And maybe -- dare I dream it? -- maybe one day there can be an openly Christian President. Or, perhaps, 43 of them. Consecutively.

  Jon Stewart

  Christian, Dream, War

  "Graham's Last Crusade - June 26, 2005". abcnews.go.com.

  40 Copy quote
• 

  To the people who are upset about their hard-earned tax money going to things they don’t like: welcome to the f*cking club. Reimburse me for the Iraq war and oil subsidies, and diaphragms are on me!

  Jon Stewart

  War, Oil, Iraq

  "Jon Stewart Slams Rush Limbaugh’s Sandra Fluke Comments:‘He Is A Terrible Person’" by Katla McGlynn, www.huffingtonpost.com. June 03, 2012.

  43 Copy quote

• Must be nice to be a Republican senator sometimes, because you get the fun of breaking sh*t and the joy of complaining the sh*t you just broke doesn't work.

  Jon Stewart

  Fun, Nice, Joy

  32 Copy quote

• It's harder to eat meat when you know the animal's name...I have found.

  Jon Stewart

  Animal, Names, Meat

  26 Copy quote

• The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.

  Jon Stewart

  Networking, World, Internet Users

  "Reinventing Television". Interview with Thomas Gotez, www.wired.com. September 1, 2005.

  29 Copy quote

• The last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying 'It works!'

  Jon Stewart

  Death, Suicide, Lasts

  4 Copy quote

• I want you to admit that there is such a thing as white privilege.

  Jon Stewart

  White Privilege, Want, White

  "Bill O’Reilly becomes spokesman for white America". www.washingtonpost.com. December 21, 2016.

  42 Copy quote

• You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.

  Jon Stewart

  Long Ago, People, Political

  9 Copy quote

• The psychology degree is simply that I was a chemistry major, and they kept wanting the correct answer, whereas in psychology you basically write whatever you want, and chances are you get a B.

  Jon Stewart

  Writing, Psychology, Degrees

  17 Copy quote

• Isn't it amazing what scientists can accomplish when no one makes them stop?

  Jon Stewart

  Scientist, Accomplish

  6 Copy quote

• Corporations are the only reason the tax code is so complicated in the first place. Those off-shore loopholes didn't get carved out by poor people.

  Jon Stewart

  People, Corporations, Firsts

  27 Copy quote

• It's funny how everyone hates witch hunts... until they see a witch.

  Jon Stewart

  Hate, Witch, Hunts

  10 Copy quote

• College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don't worry about your grade, or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways, and you will find it, and people will no longer be grading you, but it will come from your own internal sense of decency.

  Jon Stewart

  College, People, Worry

  Commencement Address at The College of William & Mary, delivered 21 May 2004

  20 Copy quote

• People! Take to the streets and scream 'BE REASONABLE!'

  Jon Stewart

  People, Scream, Streets

  13 Copy quote

• The Rapture: The ultimate Republican back-up plan.

  Jon Stewart

  Republican, Rapture, Plans

  12 Copy quote

• They have to put Trump on every program, spewing his crazy ideas, because his poll numbers are so high. And his poll numbers are so high because they put him on every program, spewing his crazy ideas.

  Jon Stewart

  Crazy, Ideas, Numbers

  9 Copy quote

• The overwhelming condemnation makes it clear we have made enormous progress in teaching everyone that racism is bad. Where we seem to have dropped the ball... is in teaching people what racism actually is ... which allows people to say incredibly racist things while insisting they would never.

  Jon Stewart

  Teaching, Racism, People

  30 Copy quote

• Oh press - must you spread hate? Can't you just stick to being wrong?

  Jon Stewart

  Hate, Sticks, Spread

  17 Copy quote

• Poor people have sh*tty lobbyists.

  Jon Stewart

  People, Lobbyists, Poor

  "Jon Stewart Takes On Mitt Romney’s Tax Return: How Do You Justify Making The U.S. Median Annual Income In A Day?" by Katla McGlynn, www.huffingtonpost.com. January 25, 2012.

  8 Copy quote

• If everything is amplified, we hear nothing.

  Jon Stewart

  Ifs

  12 Copy quote

• People talk about sexual assault like it's a bad habit that men have.

  Jon Stewart

  Men, People, Habit

  17 Copy quote

• We called her Mother Earth. Because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry.

  Jon Stewart

  Mother, Dry, Earth

  "Earth (The Book): A Visitor's Guide to the Human Race". Book by Jon Stewart, 2010.

  4 Copy quote

• Glenn Beck does have a dream. Unfortunately, it's the kind of dream you have when you eat four pepperoni hot pockets right before bed.

  Jon Stewart

  Dream, Bed, Pockets

  38 Copy quote

• What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do?

  Jon Stewart

  Jesus, Humans, Human Beings

  11 Copy quote

• Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality.

  Jon Stewart

  Choices, Homosexuality

  "Mike Huckabee, Part 2". "The Daily Show" with Jon Stewart, December 9, 2008.

  8 Copy quote

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