Oxymoron Quotes

• Time management is an oxymoron. Time is beyond our control, and the clock keeps ticking regardless of how we lead our lives. Priority management is the answer to maximizing the time we have.

  John C. Maxwell

  Leadership, Clock Is Ticking, Priorities

  65 Copy quote

• I find nothing more depressing than optimism.

  Paul Fussell

  Depression, Depressing, Optimistic

  16 Copy quote

• And I have a really great agent and I know it's almost an oxymoron to say you have a smart agent. But she is and she has a beautiful aesthetic and she has guided me.

  Patricia Clarkson

  Beautiful, Smart, Agents

  15 Copy quote

• You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap!

  Dolly Parton

  Fashion, Funny Valentines Day, Funny Relationship

  Twitter post from Jan 30, 2015

  10 Copy quote

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• Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

  Wendell Johnson

  Funny, Witty, Educational

  55 Copy quote

• I have a terrible memory; I never forget a thing.

  Edith Konecky

  Memories, Never Forget, Terrible

  Edith Konecky, Alix Kates Shulman, Tillie Olsen (2001). “Allegra Maud Goldman”, p.4, Feminist Press at CUNY

  8 Copy quote

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• I always advise people never to give advice.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Inspirational, Humorous, People

  P. G. Wodehouse, D. R. Bensen (1999). “Fore!: The Best of Wodehouse on Golf”, p.91, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

  60 Copy quote

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• The first condition of immortality is death.

  Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

  Writing, Firsts, Immortality

  9 Copy quote

• Why don't you pair'em up in threes?

  Yogi Berra

  Ems, Pairs, Funny Oxymoron

  6 Copy quote

• Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that men never learn anything from history.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Inspirational, Funny, Men

  "Heartbreak House: A Fantasia in the Russian Manner on English Themes".

  13 Copy quote

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• I never said most of the things I said.

  Yogi Berra

  Funny, Baseball, Witty

  "Yogi Berra, baseball Hall of Famer and New York Yankees catcher, dies at 90" by Alan Evans, www.theguardian.com. September 23, 2015.

  12 Copy quote

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• The scene is dull. Tell him to put more life into his dying.

  Samuel Goldwyn

  Dying, Dull, Scene

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  9 Copy quote

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• I never liked you, and I always will.

  Samuel Goldwyn

  Funny Oxymoron

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  13 Copy quote

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• The budget was unlimited, but I exceeded it.

  Donald Trump

  Unlimited, Funny Oxymoron, Budgets

  22 Copy quote

• Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Humorous, Sleep

  "Fictional character: The Great Man". "Never Give a Sucker an Even Break", www.imdb.com. October 10, 1941.

  45 Copy quote

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• I've been saying in the press that being a NY Post investigator reporter is an oxymoron.

  Joe Pantoliano

  Posts, Reporters, Investigators

  6 Copy quote

• Why then, O brawling love! O loving hate! O any thing, of nothing first create! O heavy lightness, serious vanity, Misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms, Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health, Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is! This love feel I, that feel no love in this.

  William Shakespeare

  Hate, Unrequited Love, Sleep

  William Shakespeare (2008). “Romeo and Juliet”, p.40, Barron's Educational Series

  8 Copy quote

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• I take it that a successful therapy is an oxymoron.

  Harold Bloom

  Successful, Therapy

  6 Copy quote

• If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.

  Samuel Goldwyn

  Funny, Happiness, Witty

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  76 Copy quote

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• My parents divorced when I was born, and my mother is a political science professor, like a feminist Mormon, which is sort of an oxymoron.

  Eliza Dushku

  Mother, Feminist, Parent

  52 Copy quote

• Sex and older women used to be considered an oxymoron, rarely mentioned in the same breath.

  Gail Sheehy

  Sex, Used, Older Women

  Gail Sheehy (2006). “Sex and the Seasoned Woman: Pursuing the Passionate Life”, Random House Incorporated

  51 Copy quote

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• The term 'serious actor' is kind of an oxymoron, isn't it? Like 'Republican party' or 'airplane food.'

  Johnny Depp

  Party, Airplane, Actors

  9 Copy quote

• We learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.

  Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

  Men, History, Funny Oxymoron

  36 Copy quote

• Any man who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.

  Samuel Goldwyn

  Funny, Science, Men

  8 Copy quote

• A lot of people never use their initiative because no-one told them to.

  Banksy

  Independent, People, Use

  Banksy (2005). “Banksy: wall and piece”, Random House UK

  13 Copy quote

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