I myself have known some profoundly thoughtful dogs.
Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?
The act of writing is either something the writer dreads or actually likes, and I actually like it. Even re-writing's fun. You're getting somewhere, whether it seems to move or not.
Americans want to go to heaven without dying.
The nation that complacently and fearfully allows its artists and writers to become suspected rather than respected is no longer regarded as a nation possessed with humor or depth.
But those rare souls whose spirit gets magically into the hearts of men, leave behind them something more real and warmly personal than bodily presence, an ineffable and eternal thing. It is everlasting life touching us as something more than a vague, recondite concept. The sound of a great name dies like an echo; the splendor of fame fades into nothing; but the grace of a fine spirit pervades the places through which it has passed, like the haunting loveliness of mignonette.
Two is company, four is a party, three is a crowd. One is a wanderer.
The things we laugh at are awful while they are going on, but get funny when we look back. And other people laugh because they've been through it too. The closest thing to humor is tragedy.
One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.
Man is flying too fast for a world that is round. Soon he will catch up with himself in a great rear end collision.
Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.
Editing should be, especially in the case of old writers, a counselling rather than a collaborating task. The tendency of the writer-editor to collaborate is natural, but he should say to himself, 'How can I help this writer to say it better in his own style?' and avoid 'How can I show him how I would write it, if it were my piece?'
Don't get it right, just get it written.
Women deserve to have more than 12 years between 28 and 40.
Humor does not include sarcasm, invalid irony, sardonicism, innuendo, or any other form of cruelty. When these things are raised to a high point they can become wit, but unlike the French and the English, we have not been much good at wit since the days of Benjamin Franklin.
Love is what you've been through with somebody.
We are a nation that has always gone in for the loud laugh, the wow, the yak, the belly laugh, and the dozen other labels for the roll- em-in-the-aisles gagerissimo. This is the kind of laugh that delights actors, directors, and producers, but dismays writers of comedy because it is the laugh that often dies in the lobby. The appreciative smile, the chuckle, the soundless mirth, so important to the success of comedy, cannot be understood unless one sits among the audience and feels the warmth created by the quality of laughter that the audience takes home with it.
The past is an old armchair in the attic, the present an ominous ticking sound, and the future is anybody's guess.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
Remember laughter. You'll need it even in the blessed isles of Ever After.
A burden in the bush is worth two on your hands.
If you wonder which is the stronger sex, watch which one twists the other around her little finger.
Let the meek inherit the earth -- they have it coming to them.
With sixty staring me in the face, I have developed inflammation of the sentence structure and definite hardening of the paragraphs.
Every time is a time for comedy in a world of tension that would languish without it. But I cannot confine myself to lightness in a period of human life that demands light. We all know that, as the old adage has it, "It is later than you think." But I also say occasionally: "It is lighter than you think." In this light let's not look back in anger, or forward in fear, but around in awareness.
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