If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children.
Success is outliving your failures
Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it's still snowing.
Cats invented self-esteem.
Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
He who laughs.....lasts.
He opened the jar of pickles when no one else could. He was the only one in the house who wasn't afraid to go into the basement by himself. He cut himself shaving, but no one kissed it or got excited about it. It was understood when it rained, he got the car and brought it around to the door. When anyone was sick, he went out to get the prescription filled. He took lots of pictures... but he was never in them.
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.
A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. "What shall we name the other one?" I smiled. She was not amused.
Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
I see children as kites. You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground. You run with them until you're both breathless. They crash . . . you add a longer tail . . . you patch and comfort, adjust and teach. You watch them lifted by the wind and assure them that someday they'll fly.
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.
Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.
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