Erma Bombeck Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.

  Erma Bombeck

  Inspirational, Life, Communication

  47 Copy quote

• It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.

  Erma Bombeck

  Dream, Courage, Kindness

  71 Copy quote

• Cats invented self-esteem.

  Erma Bombeck

  Self Esteem, Cat, Self

  85 Copy quote

• A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. "What shall we name the other one?" I smiled. She was not amused.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Humorous, Names

  9 Copy quote

• Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.

  Erma Bombeck

  Inspirational, Laughter, Humor

  14 Copy quote

• All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny Inspirational, Children, Parenting

  43 Copy quote

• Mothers are not the nameless, faceless stereotypes who appear once a year on a greeting card with their virtues set to prose, but women who have been dealt a hand for life and play each card one at a time the best way they know how. No mother is all good or all bad, all laughing or all serious, all loving or all angry. Ambivalence rushes through their veins.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mother, Hands, Years

  "Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession".

  51 Copy quote

• I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

  Erma Bombeck

  Inspiration, Car, Buzzards

  42 Copy quote

• Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession”, p.14, Open Road Media

  32 Copy quote

• I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.

  Erma Bombeck

  Trust, Sex, Giving Up

  72 Copy quote

• The grass is always greener over the septic tank.

  Erma Bombeck

  Tanks, Grass Is Greener On The Other Side, Grass Is Always Greener

  Erma Bombeck (2014). “Es darf auch mal Champagner sein”, p.2, Edel:Books

  20 Copy quote

• I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.

  Erma Bombeck

  Worry, Scientist, Fattening

  10 Copy quote

• Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.

  Erma Bombeck

  Women, Seems

  Erma Bombeck (2011). “At Wit's End”, p.215, Fawcett

  21 Copy quote

• I remember thinking how often we look, but never see ... we listen, but never hear ... we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.

  Erma Bombeck

  Laughter, Thinking, Voice

  "A Marriage Made In Heaven; or, Too Tired For an Affair". Book by Erma Bombeck, 1993.

  33 Copy quote

• There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, 'Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams.' Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, 'How good or how bad am I?' That's where courage comes in.

  Erma Bombeck

  Dream, People, Acting

  24 Copy quote

• In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

  Erma Bombeck

  Loss, Two, Pounds

  109 Copy quote

• A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.

  Erma Bombeck

  Growing Up, Zippers, Grandparent

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist”, p.230, Open Road Media

  33 Copy quote

• I read one psychologist's theory that said, "Never strike a child in your anger." When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he's recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?

  Erma Bombeck

  Family, Children, Sunday

  24 Copy quote

• One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.

  Erma Bombeck

  Sarcastic, Children, Funny Life

  Erma Bombeck (1997). “Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist”, p.153, Andrews McMeel Publishing

  29 Copy quote

• I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.

  Erma Bombeck

  Clothes, Lucky, Realizing

  16 Copy quote

• A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

  Erma Bombeck

  Relationship, Fun, Halloween

  28 Copy quote

• Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.

  Erma Bombeck

  Sports, Football, Shopping

  19 Copy quote

• It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have...One pair that see through closed doors. Another in the back of her head...and, of course, the ones in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and reflect 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mom, Mother, Children

  40 Copy quote

• Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mom, Mother, Years

  87 Copy quote

• There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

  Erma Bombeck

  Happiness, Hurt, Laughter

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”, p.139, Open Road Media

  33 Copy quote

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