Things are sometimes better left as they are, but you can't be sure until you change them.
What we really need is to realize how little we really need.
I'll give up my bad habits as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.
Forgive me now - tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty.
Life is too important to be taken as a joke, but too ridiculous to be taken seriously.
My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.
I have no prejudices: all my irrational hatreds are based on solid evidence.
At great expense, we have built a vast system of inter-connecting stupidities.
What happened to you could have been worse - it could have happened to me.
There's no harm in talking to yourself, but try to avoid telling yourself jokes you've heard before.
Communication with the dead is only a little more difficult than communication with some of the living.
Unlike most other people, I'm just an average person.
I have many unrecognized talents, but my faults have somehow succeeded in securing wide recognition.
The task I've been given seems absurd: To wait here on earth until I no longer exist.
I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you.
There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about.
My life has a superb cast, but I cannot figure out the plot.
Before i knew the best part of my life had come ,it had gone.
Sometimes the only way you can win is to stay out of the game.
I've found the secret of happiness, total disregard of everybody.
Maybe I'm lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the wrong direction
Sooner or later, I'll be punctual.
To be sure of winning, invent your own game, and never tell any other player the rules.
The surest way to learn is by doing it, but often, the lesson is: Don't do it!
Not being able to do everything is no excuse for not doing everything you can.
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