Darynda Jones Quotes - Page 6

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• Since I had a soft spot for zombies and my curiosity was killing me, I opted for plan Z.

  Darynda Jones

  Curiosity, Zombie, Killing

  Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.564, St. Martin's Press

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• I have them a few minutes to absorb everything while I teased Ubie, who only had to recover from his near-death experience. I was so glad Reyes hadn't ripped him to shreds. I liked him much better un-shredded. Unlike, say, my preference for lettuce or heavy metal guitar solos.

  Darynda Jones

  Guitar, Heavy Metal, Preference

  Darynda Jones (2012). “Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet”, p.123, St. Martin's Press

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• I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?” “Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.” “Charley.” “Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?

  Darynda Jones

  Uncles, Skanks, Mouths

  Darynda Jones (2013). “Fifth Grave Past the Light”, p.100, Macmillan

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• A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.

  Darynda Jones

  Men, Hot, Uniforms

  Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.105, St. Martin's Press

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• I should’ve known the day was going to turn out bad when it started with my father trying to kill me

  Darynda Jones

  Father, Trying, Should

  Darynda Jones (2012). “Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet”, p.236, Macmillan

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• Does Uncle Bob have anything?" "I heard he has an STD." "I mean on the women." "Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.

  Darynda Jones

  Uncles, Mean, Ideas

  Darynda Jones (2013). “Fifth Grave Past the Light”, p.159, Macmillan

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• Amber, you could never embarrass me." "Never?" she asked. "Never." "One time, I yelled across the store to Mom and asked her if she wanted the regular or the super-absorbent tampons. I added that, according to the box, the super-absorbent were for those heavy days. Then I asked her to rate her heaviness on a scale of one to ten." "Okay, you could." "Then while we were standing in line, I asked her why she was buying three boxes of Summer's Eve in the middle of winter." I set her at arm's length. "Wow." "I know, right? I had no idea a person could turn so red.

  Darynda Jones

  Summer, Mom, Winter

  Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.150, St. Martin's Press

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• Dead people I could handle. They were usually beyond hysteria. This was the people-left behind part. The hard part.

  Darynda Jones

  Hysteria, People, Left Behind

  Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.32, Macmillan

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• Okay, I’ll put someone on it. But you know, the Albuquerque Police Department wasn’t really created to find things out for you.” “Really? That’s weird.

  Darynda Jones

  Police, Albuquerque, Okay

  Darynda Jones (2013). “Fifth Grave Past the Light”, p.120, Macmillan

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• My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.

  Darynda Jones

  Mom, Dad, Memories

  Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.54, Macmillan

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• My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.

  Darynda Jones

  Phones, Add, My Thoughts

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• I could be irksome when I put my left ventricle into it.

  Darynda Jones

  Left

  Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.112, Macmillan

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• You still owe me a million dollars." I'd presented him with a bill for proving his innocence and getting him freed from prison. He had yet to pay. Couldn't imagine why. "Yeah, I was hoping we could work that out." "The interest alone is going to kill you." "What do you charge?" "Three hundred eighty-seven percent." "Is that ethical?" "It's as ethical as my dating the son of Satan.

  Darynda Jones

  Son, Dating, Dollars

  Darynda Jones (2013). “Fifth Grave Past the Light: Number 5 in series”, p.19, Hachette UK

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• I’m Charlotte Davidson: private investigator, police consultant, all -around badass. Or I could’ve been a badass, had I stuck with those lessons in mixed martial arts. I was only in that class to learn how to kill people with paper.

  Darynda Jones

  Art, Badass, Class

  Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.365, St. Martin's Press

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• While I was busy reminiscing about my first day on earth, I had forgotten that I was falling to my death. Damned ADD.

  Darynda Jones

  Fall, Reminiscing, Add

  Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.126, Macmillan

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• Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.

  Darynda Jones

  Coffee, Drink, Pretending

  Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.161, Macmillan

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• I noticed you tore down Donovan's house." He lifted his gaze until it locked with mine. "He's alive because he left town. His house chose to stay. It paid the price.

  Darynda Jones

  House, Alive, Towns

  Darynda Jones (2013). “Fifth Grave Past the Light”, p.315, Macmillan

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• Charley talking to Cookie ‘'You know those women in nursing homes that have to be restrained around the clock because they mix up everyones medication and steal all the bedpans?'' ‘’Yes'' I said wondering what I was walking into ''That’s going to be you!'' She was probably right, if I live that long

  Darynda Jones

  Home, Nursing, Talking

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• Is it just me or does the fact that you live in the same building you were abducted into seem a bit morbid?" "Pffft. It’s just you," I said, discounting the entire bizarre ghoulish thing.

  Darynda Jones

  Facts, Doe, Morbid

  Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.156, Macmillan

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• Sorry. i just can't seem to help myself. My brain is freaking out. Two predawn mornings in a row. It doesn't know what to think, how to act. I'll have a talk with it later. Perhaps get it some counseling.

  Darynda Jones

  Morning, Sorry, Thinking

  Darynda Jones (2011). “Second Grave on the Left”, p.128, Macmillan

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• Charley: If you‘re not going to tell me where you are, if you‘re not going to trust me to help you, then why are you here? Why bother? Reyes: Because you‘re the reason I breathe.

  Darynda Jones

  Helping, Trust Me, Breathe

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• You do have a tendency to severe spinal cords." "Only for you.

  Darynda Jones

  Tendencies, Spinal Cord, Severe

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• I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.

  Darynda Jones

  Mean, Men, Sweat

  Darynda Jones (2011). “Second Grave on the Left”, p.148, Macmillan

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• She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.

  Darynda Jones

  Struggle, Exercise, Cake

  Darynda Jones (2011). “Second Grave on the Left”, p.25, Macmillan

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• He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.

  Darynda Jones

  Chocolate, Heroin, Covered

  Darynda Jones (2011). “Second Grave on the Left”, p.37, Macmillan

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