Darynda Jones Quotes - Page 7

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She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.

Darynda Jones

Struggle, Exercise, Cake

Darynda Jones (2011). “Second Grave on the Left”, p.25, Macmillan

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I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.

Darynda Jones

Mean, Men, Sweat

Darynda Jones (2011). “Second Grave on the Left”, p.148, Macmillan

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Amber, you could never embarrass me." "Never?" she asked. "Never." "One time, I yelled across the store to Mom and asked her if she wanted the regular or the super-absorbent tampons. I added that, according to the box, the super-absorbent were for those heavy days. Then I asked her to rate her heaviness on a scale of one to ten." "Okay, you could." "Then while we were standing in line, I asked her why she was buying three boxes of Summer's Eve in the middle of winter." I set her at arm's length. "Wow." "I know, right? I had no idea a person could turn so red.

Darynda Jones

Summer, Mom, Winter

Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.150, St. Martin's Press

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You do have a tendency to severe spinal cords." "Only for you.

Darynda Jones

Tendencies, Spinal Cord, Severe

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Charley: If you‘re not going to tell me where you are, if you‘re not going to trust me to help you, then why are you here? Why bother? Reyes: Because you‘re the reason I breathe.

Darynda Jones

Helping, Trust Me, Breathe

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Sorry. i just can't seem to help myself. My brain is freaking out. Two predawn mornings in a row. It doesn't know what to think, how to act. I'll have a talk with it later. Perhaps get it some counseling.

Darynda Jones

Morning, Sorry, Thinking

Darynda Jones (2011). “Second Grave on the Left”, p.128, Macmillan

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I’m Charlotte Davidson: private investigator, police consultant, all -around badass. Or I could’ve been a badass, had I stuck with those lessons in mixed martial arts. I was only in that class to learn how to kill people with paper.

Darynda Jones

Art, Badass, Class

Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.365, St. Martin's Press

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Charley talking to Cookie ‘'You know those women in nursing homes that have to be restrained around the clock because they mix up everyones medication and steal all the bedpans?'' ‘’Yes'' I said wondering what I was walking into ''That’s going to be you!'' She was probably right, if I live that long

Darynda Jones

Home, Nursing, Talking

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Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.

Darynda Jones

Coffee, Drink, Pretending

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.161, Macmillan

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You still owe me a million dollars." I'd presented him with a bill for proving his innocence and getting him freed from prison. He had yet to pay. Couldn't imagine why. "Yeah, I was hoping we could work that out." "The interest alone is going to kill you." "What do you charge?" "Three hundred eighty-seven percent." "Is that ethical?" "It's as ethical as my dating the son of Satan.

Darynda Jones

Son, Dating, Dollars

Darynda Jones (2013). “Fifth Grave Past the Light: Number 5 in series”, p.19, Hachette UK

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I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?” “Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.” “Charley.” “Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?

Darynda Jones

Uncles, Skanks, Mouths

Darynda Jones (2013). “Fifth Grave Past the Light”, p.100, Macmillan

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Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, that reason alone keeps people from allowing themselves to believe.

Darynda Jones

Believe, People, Looks

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.61, Macmillan

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That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice. “Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you knew that.

Darynda Jones

Hurt, Believe, Voice

Darynda Jones (2011). “Second Grave on the Left”, p.91, Macmillan

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Before I tell you, I have to know three things," I said. "Okay." "One, are you sitting down?" "Yes." "Two, are you mentally stable?" "More than you'll ever be." Well, that was uncalled for. "And three, how do you spell schizophrenia?" "What does that have to do with anything?" "Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.

Darynda Jones

Two, Sitting Down, Doe

Darynda Jones (2012). “Third Grave Dead Ahead”, p.46, St. Martin's Press

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Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me." "I can't go with you." "Is it because of my questionable morals?" "No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school." "Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bother you?

Darynda Jones

Dog, Girlfriend, School

Darynda Jones (2012). “Third Grave Dead Ahead”, p.78, Macmillan

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I had yet to be a mother, but I would have thought it difficult to forget something it took thirty-seven hours of excruciating pain to push out from between my legs ~Charley Davidson

Darynda Jones

Mother, Pain, Legs

Darynda Jones (2011). “For I Have Sinned (A Charley Davidson Story): A HeroesandHeartbreakers.com Original”, p.54, Macmillan

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Then I asked her if she wanted to to the funeral, and my God, the look on her face. You'd think I'd asked her to drown the neighbor's cat." Admittedly, drowning the neighbor's cat didn't really clue me in as much as I would've liked. "So, she was angry?" He blinked back to me and stared. Like a long time.

Darynda Jones

Cat, Thinking, Long

Darynda Jones (2011). “Second Grave on the Left”, p.18, St. Martin's Press

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I suck at all this supernatural stuff. But I fry a mean chicken. Oh, good. I hate it when the nice ones get fried.

Darynda Jones

Hate, Nice, Mean

Darynda Jones (2011). “Second Grave on the Left”, p.117, Macmillan

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In a moment of sheer terror, I realized I couldn't feel my brain. It was there just a minute ago. Maybe I really was dead. "Do I look dead to you?

Darynda Jones

Brain, Looks, Moments

Darynda Jones (2012). “Third Grave Dead Ahead”, p.19, Macmillan

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I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker

Darynda Jones

Children, Thinking, Bumper Sticker

Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.50, St. Martin's Press

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He seemed determines, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possible Milk Duds.

Darynda Jones

Milk, Resolve, Tact

Darynda Jones (2012). “Third Grave Dead Ahead”, p.36, Macmillan

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Cookie had taken her daughter amber to school then walked the thirty-something feet to work earlier. Our business was on the second floor of Calamity's, my dad's bar, which sat right in front of our apartment building. The short commute was nice and rarely invloved rabid raccoons.

Darynda Jones

Daughter, Dad, Nice

Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.750, St. Martin's Press

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My calculations - allowing for a 12 percent margin of error, based on the radius of the corresponding confidence interval and the surgeon general's warning - concluded that they probably didn't stay behind for the tacos.

Darynda Jones

Errors, Warning, Tacos

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.53, Macmillan

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In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.

Darynda Jones

Dog, Rain, Defense

Darynda Jones (2011). “Second Grave on the Left”, p.264, Macmillan

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Every night in my dreams, a man appeared from the darkest recesses of my mind, as if he'd been waiting for me to fall asleep. His mouth, full, masculine, would sear my flesh. His tongue, like flames across my skin, would send tiny sparks quaking through my body. Then he would dip south, and the heavens would open and a chorus singing hallelujah would ring out in perfect harmony.

Darynda Jones

Dream, Fall, Night

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.9, Macmillan

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Born: 1965
Occupation: Author
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