Darynda Jones Quotes - Page 5

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Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should have gone to Hogwart's when I had the chance.

Darynda Jones

Should Have, Giving, Gone

Darynda Jones (2012). “Third Grave Dead Ahead”, p.36, Macmillan

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Can I jump in your body and make out with my wife through you?” I fought a grin. “It doesn’t really work that way.” “Then can you just make out with my wife and pretend I’m in your body?” “No.” “I can pay. I have money.” “How much we talking?

Darynda Jones

Talking, Wife, Body

Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.266, St. Martin's Press

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Ambulances were cool. “You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts,” I said to the EMT as I picked up a silver gadget that looked disturbingly like an alien orifice probe, broke it, then promptly put it back, hoping it wouldn’t leave someone’s life hanging in the balance because the EMT couldn’t alien-probe his orifices.

Darynda Jones

Balance, Gadgets, Body

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.128, Macmillan

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Where am I going and why am I in this handbasket? ~Bumper sticker~

Darynda Jones

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―You realize I can hear you without the annoying intercom. Cookie and I both leaned forward and looked at each other through the doorway. ―But this is more fun, I said. ―More Star Trekkie.

Darynda Jones

Stars, Fun, Cookies

Darynda Jones (2012). “Third Grave Dead Ahead”, p.165, Macmillan

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Cookie dropped her purse and tried to catch it midair. In the process, she knocked over a vase. When she lunged for the vase, she slipped on the tile and overturned an entire table. A lovely handblown piece of glass flew in my direction, and all I could think as I caught it was, Really? Again? We were going to have to practice muscle control.

Darynda Jones

Thinking, Glasses, Practice

Darynda Jones (2011). “Second Grave on the Left”, p.176, Macmillan

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Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.

Darynda Jones

Kids, Lunch, Hair

Darynda Jones (2013). “Fifth Grave Past the Light”, p.138, Macmillan

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You can’t have him, okay,” she said from behind the wire barrier. “Mm-hmm,” I whispered. “This is certainly a beautiful neighborhood.” “Yeah, I guess.” “I will scratch those eyes out of your ugly head.

Darynda Jones

Beautiful, Eye, Wire

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.34, Macmillan

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Did you get checked out?” “Yeah, by a hot blond who sat in the corner of the bar and made googly eyes at me.” “I meant by a doctor.” “No, but a balding yet bizarrely hot paramedic said I’d be fine." “Oh, and he’s an expert?” “At flirting.

Darynda Jones

Eye, Flirting, Doctors

Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.54, St. Martin's Press

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Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt

Darynda Jones

Hilarious, Funny Life, Argument

Darynda Jones (2012). “Third Grave Dead Ahead”, p.143, Macmillan

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Garret Swopes was a lot like a hot gay friend only he wasn't gay, which was too bad because then I could tell him how hot he was without him getting the wrong idea.

Darynda Jones

Gay, Ideas, Hot

Darynda Jones (2013). “Fifth Grave Past the Light”, p.35, Macmillan

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SARC- was my second favorite -ASM word

Darynda Jones

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There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated. Charley

Darynda Jones

Feels Just, Littles, Gynecologists

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What do I look like, the ghost whisperer? They're loony. I'd have better luck talking to my cousin Alfonso's Chihuahua. At least Tía Juana knows Spanish." "Your cousin's Chihuahua is named Tía Juana?

Darynda Jones

Cousin, Talking, Luck

Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.517, St. Martin's Press

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If Cameron kidnaps you, kills you, then buries your lifeless body in a shallow grave in the desert where your remains lay decomposing for several decades until they're accidentally discovered by some guy on a journey to awaken his spirit at the Salinas Pueblo Missions, can I have your iMac?" I gaped at her. "You've really thought this out. "I love your iMac." "I love my iMac too, and you're not getting her." "But you'll be decomposing.

Darynda Jones

Journey, Guy, Desert

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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.

Darynda Jones

Anger, Class, Training

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.58, Macmillan

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Reyes leaned back against the bar, crossed his arms over his chest, and studied me from beneath those same ridiculously long lashes. Men and their freaking lashes. It was so unfair. Like the exorbitant cost of designer shoes. Or world hunger.

Darynda Jones

Men, Shoes, Long

Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.401, St. Martin's Press

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After searching for a space, I parked behind the tattoo parlor in front of a sign that said NO PARKING. Since it didn't specify to whom it was referring, I figured it couldn't possibly be talking to me.

Darynda Jones

Tattoo, Talking, Space

Darynda Jones (2012). “Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet”, p.105, Macmillan

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Rocket," I said, straightening in the chair. "Donovan was just helping me with my contacts." Donovan raised his brows humorously. Rocket furrowed his. "Did you swallow them?

Darynda Jones

Rockets, Helping, Chairs

Darynda Jones (2012). “Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet”, p.243, Macmillan

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My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.

Darynda Jones

Mom, Dad, Memories

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.54, Macmillan

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...and then she glared at me, the same glare my stepmother used to give me when I gave her the Nazi salute. That woman was so touchy about her resemblance to Hitler.

Darynda Jones

Giving, Nazi, Used

Darynda Jones (2011). “For I Have Sinned (A Charley Davidson Story): A HeroesandHeartbreakers.com Original”, p.52, Macmillan

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She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.

Darynda Jones

Book, Winning, People

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.92, Macmillan

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“Time-out,” I said... He twisted his hand around and wound his fingers into mine. “You‘re putting me in time-out?” “Yes,” I said as a shaky sigh slid through my lips. “If I don't go, do I get a spanking?”

Darynda Jones

Hands, Lips, Twisted

"Second Grave on the Left". Book by Darynda Jones, August 2, 2011.

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You rented the apartment with a dead guy in the corner?” I shrugged. “I wanted the apartment, and I figured I could cover him up with a bookcase or something.

Darynda Jones

Guy, Bookcases, Apartment

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.7, Macmillan

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Dude,” I said, leaning over the desk, “I’m about as psychic as a carrot.

Darynda Jones

Psychics, Carrots, Desks

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.65, Macmillan

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Born: 1965
Occupation: Author
Cite this Page: Citation

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