Darynda Jones Quotes - Page 5

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• Did you get checked out?” “Yeah, by a hot blond who sat in the corner of the bar and made googly eyes at me.” “I meant by a doctor.” “No, but a balding yet bizarrely hot paramedic said I’d be fine." “Oh, and he’s an expert?” “At flirting.

  Darynda Jones

  Eye, Flirting, Doctors

  Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.54, St. Martin's Press

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• Can I jump in your body and make out with my wife through you?” I fought a grin. “It doesn’t really work that way.” “Then can you just make out with my wife and pretend I’m in your body?” “No.” “I can pay. I have money.” “How much we talking?

  Darynda Jones

  Talking, Wife, Body

  Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.266, St. Martin's Press

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• Ambulances were cool. “You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts,” I said to the EMT as I picked up a silver gadget that looked disturbingly like an alien orifice probe, broke it, then promptly put it back, hoping it wouldn’t leave someone’s life hanging in the balance because the EMT couldn’t alien-probe his orifices.

  Darynda Jones

  Balance, Gadgets, Body

  Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.128, Macmillan

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• Where am I going and why am I in this handbasket? ~Bumper sticker~

  Darynda Jones

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• Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt

  Darynda Jones

  Hilarious, Funny Life, Argument

  Darynda Jones (2012). “Third Grave Dead Ahead”, p.143, Macmillan

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• Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should have gone to Hogwart's when I had the chance.

  Darynda Jones

  Should Have, Giving, Gone

  Darynda Jones (2012). “Third Grave Dead Ahead”, p.36, Macmillan

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• I sat with my two best friends, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that only two of us would make it out of there alive. Though I did tend to exaggerate.

  Darynda Jones

  Two Best Friends, Knowing, Doubt

  Darynda Jones (2012). “Death and the Girl Next Door”, p.1, Macmillan

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• Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers

  Darynda Jones

  Serial Killer, Killers, Serials

  Darynda Jones (2012). “Death and the Girl Next Door”, p.18, Macmillan

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• SARC- was my second favorite -ASM word

  Darynda Jones

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• ―You realize I can hear you without the annoying intercom. Cookie and I both leaned forward and looked at each other through the doorway. ―But this is more fun, I said. ―More Star Trekkie.

  Darynda Jones

  Stars, Fun, Cookies

  Darynda Jones (2012). “Third Grave Dead Ahead”, p.165, Macmillan

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• Garret Swopes was a lot like a hot gay friend only he wasn't gay, which was too bad because then I could tell him how hot he was without him getting the wrong idea.

  Darynda Jones

  Gay, Ideas, Hot

  Darynda Jones (2013). “Fifth Grave Past the Light”, p.35, Macmillan

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• Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.

  Darynda Jones

  Kids, Lunch, Hair

  Darynda Jones (2013). “Fifth Grave Past the Light”, p.138, Macmillan

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• There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated. Charley

  Darynda Jones

  Feels Just, Littles, Gynecologists

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• What do I look like, the ghost whisperer? They're loony. I'd have better luck talking to my cousin Alfonso's Chihuahua. At least Tía Juana knows Spanish." "Your cousin's Chihuahua is named Tía Juana?

  Darynda Jones

  Cousin, Talking, Luck

  Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.517, St. Martin's Press

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• If Cameron kidnaps you, kills you, then buries your lifeless body in a shallow grave in the desert where your remains lay decomposing for several decades until they're accidentally discovered by some guy on a journey to awaken his spirit at the Salinas Pueblo Missions, can I have your iMac?" I gaped at her. "You've really thought this out. "I love your iMac." "I love my iMac too, and you're not getting her." "But you'll be decomposing.

  Darynda Jones

  Journey, Guy, Desert

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• Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.

  Darynda Jones

  Anger, Class, Training

  Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.58, Macmillan

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• Reyes leaned back against the bar, crossed his arms over his chest, and studied me from beneath those same ridiculously long lashes. Men and their freaking lashes. It was so unfair. Like the exorbitant cost of designer shoes. Or world hunger.

  Darynda Jones

  Men, Shoes, Long

  Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.401, St. Martin's Press

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• After searching for a space, I parked behind the tattoo parlor in front of a sign that said NO PARKING. Since it didn't specify to whom it was referring, I figured it couldn't possibly be talking to me.

  Darynda Jones

  Tattoo, Talking, Space

  Darynda Jones (2012). “Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet”, p.105, Macmillan

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• Rocket," I said, straightening in the chair. "Donovan was just helping me with my contacts." Donovan raised his brows humorously. Rocket furrowed his. "Did you swallow them?

  Darynda Jones

  Rockets, Helping, Chairs

  Darynda Jones (2012). “Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet”, p.243, Macmillan

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• I’m Charlotte Davidson: private investigator, police consultant, all -around badass. Or I could’ve been a badass, had I stuck with those lessons in mixed martial arts. I was only in that class to learn how to kill people with paper.

  Darynda Jones

  Art, Badass, Class

  Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.365, St. Martin's Press

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• Sorry. i just can't seem to help myself. My brain is freaking out. Two predawn mornings in a row. It doesn't know what to think, how to act. I'll have a talk with it later. Perhaps get it some counseling.

  Darynda Jones

  Morning, Sorry, Thinking

  Darynda Jones (2011). “Second Grave on the Left”, p.128, Macmillan

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• I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.

  Darynda Jones

  Mean, Men, Sweat

  Darynda Jones (2011). “Second Grave on the Left”, p.148, Macmillan

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• She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.

  Darynda Jones

  Struggle, Exercise, Cake

  Darynda Jones (2011). “Second Grave on the Left”, p.25, Macmillan

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• ...and then she glared at me, the same glare my stepmother used to give me when I gave her the Nazi salute. That woman was so touchy about her resemblance to Hitler.

  Darynda Jones

  Giving, Nazi, Used

  Darynda Jones (2011). “For I Have Sinned (A Charley Davidson Story): A HeroesandHeartbreakers.com Original”, p.52, Macmillan

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• Dude,” I said, leaning over the desk, “I’m about as psychic as a carrot.

  Darynda Jones

  Psychics, Carrots, Desks

  Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.65, Macmillan

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