Darynda Jones Quotes - Page 8

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After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.

Darynda Jones

Coffee, Host, Shows

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.5, Macmillan

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My calculations - allowing for a 12 percent margin of error, based on the radius of the corresponding confidence interval and the surgeon general's warning - concluded that they probably didn't stay behind for the tacos.

Darynda Jones

Errors, Warning, Tacos

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.53, Macmillan

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Cookie had taken her daughter amber to school then walked the thirty-something feet to work earlier. Our business was on the second floor of Calamity's, my dad's bar, which sat right in front of our apartment building. The short commute was nice and rarely invloved rabid raccoons.

Darynda Jones

Daughter, Dad, Nice

Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.750, St. Martin's Press

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He seemed determines, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possible Milk Duds.

Darynda Jones

Milk, Resolve, Tact

Darynda Jones (2012). “Third Grave Dead Ahead”, p.36, Macmillan

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I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker

Darynda Jones

Children, Thinking, Bumper Sticker

Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.50, St. Martin's Press

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In a moment of sheer terror, I realized I couldn't feel my brain. It was there just a minute ago. Maybe I really was dead. "Do I look dead to you?

Darynda Jones

Brain, Looks, Moments

Darynda Jones (2012). “Third Grave Dead Ahead”, p.19, Macmillan

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I suck at all this supernatural stuff. But I fry a mean chicken. Oh, good. I hate it when the nice ones get fried.

Darynda Jones

Hate, Nice, Mean

Darynda Jones (2011). “Second Grave on the Left”, p.117, Macmillan

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Then I asked her if she wanted to to the funeral, and my God, the look on her face. You'd think I'd asked her to drown the neighbor's cat." Admittedly, drowning the neighbor's cat didn't really clue me in as much as I would've liked. "So, she was angry?" He blinked back to me and stared. Like a long time.

Darynda Jones

Cat, Thinking, Long

Darynda Jones (2011). “Second Grave on the Left”, p.18, St. Martin's Press

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Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me." "I can't go with you." "Is it because of my questionable morals?" "No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school." "Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bother you?

Darynda Jones

Dog, Girlfriend, School

Darynda Jones (2012). “Third Grave Dead Ahead”, p.78, Macmillan

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Before I tell you, I have to know three things," I said. "Okay." "One, are you sitting down?" "Yes." "Two, are you mentally stable?" "More than you'll ever be." Well, that was uncalled for. "And three, how do you spell schizophrenia?" "What does that have to do with anything?" "Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.

Darynda Jones

Two, Sitting Down, Doe

Darynda Jones (2012). “Third Grave Dead Ahead”, p.46, St. Martin's Press

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That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice. “Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you knew that.

Darynda Jones

Hurt, Believe, Voice

Darynda Jones (2011). “Second Grave on the Left”, p.91, Macmillan

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I had yet to be a mother, but I would have thought it difficult to forget something it took thirty-seven hours of excruciating pain to push out from between my legs ~Charley Davidson

Darynda Jones

Mother, Pain, Legs

Darynda Jones (2011). “For I Have Sinned (A Charley Davidson Story): A HeroesandHeartbreakers.com Original”, p.54, Macmillan

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I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.

Darynda Jones

Moving, Taken, Feet

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.39, Macmillan

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Love was not only blind, it often careened into Blithering Idiotsville as well.

Darynda Jones

Blind, Wells

Darynda Jones (2011). “Second Grave on the Left”, p.259, Macmillan

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You totally need to watch the news." "Can't." "Why?" "It's too depressing." "Right, because hanging with dead people isn't.

Darynda Jones

Depressing, People, Watches

Darynda Jones (2012). “Third Grave Dead Ahead”, p.54, St. Martin's Press

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...But he was a good landlord. When my heater stopped working in mid-December, it took him only two weeks to get it fixed. Of course, it took me knocking on his door in need of a warm place to sleep to get it that way, but one night on his sofa, where I’d suddenly developed night terrors and epilepsy, and that puppy was running like a Mercedes the next day. It was awesome.

Darynda Jones

Running, Sleep, Night

Darynda Jones (2012). “Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet”, p.31, Macmillan

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See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!

Darynda Jones

Forts

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.52, Macmillan

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For one week, all I could think about was drinking margaritas--well, that and running my tongue along Reyes's teeth--but I didn't have salt--or Reyes's teeth. I'd also lacked the energy to leave my apartment to get some--or the desire to stoop low enough to beg Reyes to let me lick his teeth after what he did--so I could only wish for a margarita. And dream of Reyes's teeth. I'd secretly hoped a margarita would magically appear in my hand, but that would mean I would have to put down the remote, and God knew that was not going to happen.

Darynda Jones

Running, Dream, Drinking

Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.153, St. Martin's Press

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We really should get some X-rays,” the EMT said. “You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts,” I said to the EMT.

Darynda Jones

Rays, Body, Want

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.128, Macmillan

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He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.

Darynda Jones

Clueless, Facts, Hours

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.2, Macmillan

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Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.

Darynda Jones

Men, Wheels, Wanted

Darynda Jones (2012). “Death and the Girl Next Door”, p.241, Macmillan

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He had given me so much information, I wanted some time to absorb it all, but I didn't want to leave him. Not like this. Not ever, as long as I lived. Or until I had to get back on the case. Whichever came first.

Darynda Jones

Long, Want, Information

Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.226, St. Martin's Press

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Wait, what are you doing?” She could apparently hear the strain in my voice as I craned my neck from side to side. “I’m trying to see past a little girl on my hood." “Oh. Isn’t that dangerous?” “Normally. But she has a knife.” “Oh, well, then, I guess it’s okay.

Darynda Jones

Girl, Past, Knives

Darynda Jones (2012). “Third Grave Dead Ahead”, p.172, Macmillan

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Hey, boss. Where are you?” she asked. “I just picked up something to eat. What about professional belly dancers?” “Um, I don’t know, maybe with horseradish.

Darynda Jones

Dancer, Boss, Hey

Darynda Jones (2012). “Third Grave Dead Ahead”, p.92, Macmillan

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I shifted in my chair as Dad waited for a response. He seemed determined, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds. “Are you psychotic?” I asked, realizing my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window the minute I opened my mouth.

Darynda Jones

Dad, Needs, Mouths

Darynda Jones (2012). “Third Grave Dead Ahead”, p.36, Macmillan

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Born: 1965
Occupation: Author
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