Darynda Jones Quotes - Page 8

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What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not?

Darynda Jones

Pardon Me, Pardon

Darynda Jones (2012). “Death and the Girl Next Door”, p.37, St. Martin's Griffin

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Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit." "Well, you are pretty fruity.

Darynda Jones

Men, Want, Fruit

Darynda Jones (2012). “Death and the Girl Next Door”, p.173, Macmillan

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Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.

Darynda Jones

Men, Wheels, Wanted

Darynda Jones (2012). “Death and the Girl Next Door”, p.241, Macmillan

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"I've been thinking," Brooklyn said as I gawked at the god sitting next to me, "if you get all lovey-dovey and decide to elope to Las Vegas where Jared uses his powers to clean up at the poker tables and you guys buy a mansion in the Manzano Mountains with twenty-seven rooms and decide - because you're rich and all - to buy a new computer, can I have your iMac then?"... "Um, no, you're not getting my iMac." "Dang."

Darynda Jones

Thinking, Vegas, Guy

"Death and the Girl Next Door". Book by Darynda Jones, 2012.

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Where have you been?" I stepped into my apartment and met Uncle Bob's glare with one of my own. "Out trying to pass myself off as a movie producer to get hot guys to sleep with me. Where have you been?

Darynda Jones

Uncles, Sleep, Guy

Darynda Jones (2012). “Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet”, p.114, Macmillan

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Amber, you could never embarrass me." "Never?" she asked. "Never." "One time, I yelled across the store to Mom and asked her if she wanted the regular or the super-absorbent tampons. I added that, according to the box, the super-absorbent were for those heavy days. Then I asked her to rate her heaviness on a scale of one to ten." "Okay, you could." "Then while we were standing in line, I asked her why she was buying three boxes of Summer's Eve in the middle of winter." I set her at arm's length. "Wow." "I know, right? I had no idea a person could turn so red.

Darynda Jones

Summer, Mom, Winter

Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.150, St. Martin's Press

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For one week, all I could think about was drinking margaritas--well, that and running my tongue along Reyes's teeth--but I didn't have salt--or Reyes's teeth. I'd also lacked the energy to leave my apartment to get some--or the desire to stoop low enough to beg Reyes to let me lick his teeth after what he did--so I could only wish for a margarita. And dream of Reyes's teeth. I'd secretly hoped a margarita would magically appear in my hand, but that would mean I would have to put down the remote, and God knew that was not going to happen.

Darynda Jones

Running, Dream, Drinking

Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.153, St. Martin's Press

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There is a fine line between love and hate, or haven't you heard? Sometimes it's hard to decipher exactly which emotion is strongest." I raised my chin. "I don't love you either." He lowered his head and watched me from underneath his dark lashes. "Are you certain? Because the emotion pouring out of you every time I'm near you is certainly not disinterest." "That doesn't mean it's love." "It could be, I promise you. Take off that sweater and give me ten minutes, and you'll believe beyond a shadow of a doubt you're in love.

Darynda Jones

Hate, Believe, Love You

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He had given me so much information, I wanted some time to absorb it all, but I didn't want to leave him. Not like this. Not ever, as long as I lived. Or until I had to get back on the case. Whichever came first.

Darynda Jones

Long, Want, Information

Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.226, St. Martin's Press

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We stood there, the three of us, our jaws firmly planted on the floor. Aunt Lil recovered first. She nudged me with her elbow and said with a cackle of delight, "I think you guys should make some more of those brownies, 'cause that boy looks hungry.

Darynda Jones

Aunt, Boys, Thinking

Darynda Jones (2015). “The Charley Davidson Series”, p.372, St. Martin's Press

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I have them a few minutes to absorb everything while I teased Ubie, who only had to recover from his near-death experience. I was so glad Reyes hadn't ripped him to shreds. I liked him much better un-shredded. Unlike, say, my preference for lettuce or heavy metal guitar solos.

Darynda Jones

Guitar, Heavy Metal, Preference

Darynda Jones (2012). “Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet”, p.123, St. Martin's Press

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She looked at me, confused. “He hardly knew me. My parents dated and got married before we knew what happened. Let’s just say we were not brought into the loop on that decision.” “That’s weird. I wasn’t brought into the loop with my parents’ marriage either.” “Really? How old were you?” “Twelve months.” She giggled. “I can’t imagine why they didn’t ask your opinion.

Darynda Jones

Confused, Parents Marriage, Decision

Darynda Jones (2012). “Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet”, p.172, Macmillan

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He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.

Darynda Jones

Clueless, Facts, Hours

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.2, Macmillan

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I'll call if I break a leg or get eaten by a bear." "Play like a rock." "Now?" "No, if a bear starts eating you." I thought for a moment before replying. "Do they have screaming, sobbing rocks, 'cause that's probably what I'll be doing if a bear is gnawing my arm off." "It would be difficult to just lay there and be eaten alive, huh?" "Ya think?

Darynda Jones

Thinking, Break A Leg, Rocks

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“Time-out,” I said... He twisted his hand around and wound his fingers into mine. “You‘re putting me in time-out?” “Yes,” I said as a shaky sigh slid through my lips. “If I don't go, do I get a spanking?”

Darynda Jones

Hands, Lips, Twisted

"Second Grave on the Left". Book by Darynda Jones, August 2, 2011.

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My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.

Darynda Jones

Mom, Dad, Memories

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.54, Macmillan

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She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.

Darynda Jones

Book, Winning, People

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.92, Macmillan

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You rented the apartment with a dead guy in the corner?” I shrugged. “I wanted the apartment, and I figured I could cover him up with a bookcase or something.

Darynda Jones

Guy, Bookcases, Apartment

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.7, Macmillan

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You do have a tendency to severe spinal cords." "Only for you.

Darynda Jones

Tendencies, Spinal Cord, Severe

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Charley: If you‘re not going to tell me where you are, if you‘re not going to trust me to help you, then why are you here? Why bother? Reyes: Because you‘re the reason I breathe.

Darynda Jones

Helping, Trust Me, Breathe

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Charley talking to Cookie ‘'You know those women in nursing homes that have to be restrained around the clock because they mix up everyones medication and steal all the bedpans?'' ‘’Yes'' I said wondering what I was walking into ''That’s going to be you!'' She was probably right, if I live that long

Darynda Jones

Home, Nursing, Talking

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Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.

Darynda Jones

Coffee, Drink, Pretending

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.161, Macmillan

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You still owe me a million dollars." I'd presented him with a bill for proving his innocence and getting him freed from prison. He had yet to pay. Couldn't imagine why. "Yeah, I was hoping we could work that out." "The interest alone is going to kill you." "What do you charge?" "Three hundred eighty-seven percent." "Is that ethical?" "It's as ethical as my dating the son of Satan.

Darynda Jones

Son, Dating, Dollars

Darynda Jones (2013). “Fifth Grave Past the Light: Number 5 in series”, p.19, Hachette UK

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I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?” “Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.” “Charley.” “Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?

Darynda Jones

Uncles, Skanks, Mouths

Darynda Jones (2013). “Fifth Grave Past the Light”, p.100, Macmillan

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Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don't want much else from them either.

Darynda Jones

Men, Giving, Want

Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.56, Macmillan

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Born: 1965
Occupation: Author
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