Jeff Dunham Quotes

Quotes about:

• If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

  Jeff Dunham

  Color, Doe, Smurf

  9 Copy quote

• When a bad experience happens, you just chalk it up to the great fact that you just got five more jokes in the show.

  Jeff Dunham

  Facts, Chalk, Shows

  Source: www.nbcnews.com

  12 Copy quote

• As humans we like to laugh at our fears, we like to whistle in the dark.

  Jeff Dunham

  Dark, Laughing, Humans

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  11 Copy quote

• I hate the beach - I'm a mountain guy. I'd much rather face a bear than a shark.

  Jeff Dunham

  Beach, Hate, Sharks

  Source: www.nbcnews.com

  5 Copy quote

• I was a kid in the third grade ... saw a dummy in the toy store. In the '60s and '70s there were a lot of those vinyl ventriloquism dummies - just about every toy store had one. Everyone close to my age that I've talked to, especially guys for some reason, tell me that they had one too, but they said they never could do it. So many people come up to me and say that. It was just something that I thought was cool. I started doing book reports with it - I developed the skill. I easily got A's on all my reports. It was just something that a little kid grasped on to - so I stuck with it.

  Jeff Dunham

  Book, Kids, Skills

  "Jeff Dunham breathes life into his 'friends' - and a lost art". Interview with Bill DeYoung, savannahnow.com. March 3, 2009.

  9 Copy quote

• I've skewered whites, blacks, Hispanics, Christians, Jews, Muslims, gays, straights, rednecks, addicts, the elderly, and my wife. As a standup comic, it is my job to make the majority of people laugh, and I believe that comedy is the last true form of free speech.

  Jeff Dunham

  Christian, Jobs, Believe

  "Comedian Defends 'Achmed the Dead Terrorist' Puppet Routine Against South African Ban" by Joshua Rhett Miller, www.foxnews.com. October 2, 2008.

  5 Copy quote

• You never know how long your fifteen minutes of fame is going to last.

  Jeff Dunham

  Long, Fifteen, Lasts

  TheCelebrityCafe.com interview, thecelebritycafe.com. November 23, 2011.

  6 Copy quote

• My mother and my father have always supported me. Now in their eighties, they actually clamor onto the tour bus with me once or twice a year so they can watch the performances and hear the crowds. Traveling with eighty-something-year-olds on a tour bus... there has to be some sort of reality show in that.

  Jeff Dunham

  Mother, Father, Reality

  "All By My Selves: Walter, Peanut, Achmed, and Me". Book by Jeff Dunham, www.today.com. 2010.

  8 Copy quote

• Up until college age I was using the typical little-boy dummy that sits on the knee and makes woodpecker jokes. My first original character didn't happen until later, and that was Jose the Jalapeno on a Stick.

  Jeff Dunham

  Character, Boys, College

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  9 Copy quote

• A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things.

  Jeff Dunham

  Comedian, Filters, Needs

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  9 Copy quote

• When I was eight years old, I got a dummy for Christmas and started teaching myself. I got books and records and sat in front of the bathroom mirror, practising. I did my first show in the third grade and just kept going; there was no reason to quit.

  Jeff Dunham

  Christmas, Book, Teaching

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  7 Copy quote

• But the mechanics of learning to 'throw your voice' are pretty simple. Anyone with a tongue, an upper palate, teeth, and a normal speaking voice can learn ventriloquism.

  Jeff Dunham

  Simple, Voice, Teeth

  Jeff Dunham (2010). “All By My Selves: Walter, Peanut, Achmed, and Me”, p.13, Penguin

  54 Copy quote

• I've tried the female thing. I was in a movie called Dinner for Schmucks a couple of years ago with Steve Carell and I created a female character for that movie. And after a few months of trying her out on the road it just didn't work. I mean, I can think like a terrorist, I can think like a white trash guy, I can even try and think like an African American, but I can't figure out how a woman.

  Jeff Dunham

  Couple, Character, Mean

  TheCelebrityCafe.com interview, thecelebritycafe.com. November 23, 2011.

  7 Copy quote

• The best place to find material is in real life. I've always maintained that it's not until the mid-20s that you have enough of a life to draw from. There's nothing better for a comic than to go through some bad stuff - and some good stuff, like getting married.

  Jeff Dunham

  Real, Stuff, Married

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  7 Copy quote

• I try to make the majority of my audience laugh. That's my audience. They'll laugh at the dead terrorist.

  Jeff Dunham

  Laughing, Trying, Majority

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  4 Copy quote

• The roadwork is just rehearsal for that DVD you're going to film a year later.

  Jeff Dunham

  Dvds, Years, Rehearsal

  TheCelebrityCafe.com interview, thecelebritycafe.com. November 23, 2011.

  4 Copy quote

• Everybody has their favorite character.That's the only way I pick, whatever is going on in society, whatever I think folks will laugh at that's what I come up with.

  Jeff Dunham

  Character, Thinking, Laughing

  7 Copy quote

• The only way a ventriloquist speaks differently is that he forgoes using his or her lips, and learns to reproduce sounds using the tongue, upper palate, and teeth only. Those 'difficult' letters are B, F, M, P, V, W, and Y.

  Jeff Dunham

  Sound, Teeth, Letters

  Jeff Dunham (2010). “All By My Selves: Walter, Peanut, Achmed, and Me”, p.13, Penguin

  7 Copy quote

• Growing up doing those Kiwanis Clubs, doing those Cub Scout banquets, doing those church shows, I learned to find that sensibility that most people could laugh at - that all ages and demographics could laugh at.

  Jeff Dunham

  Growing Up, People, Laughing

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  4 Copy quote

• I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who's really funny.

  Jeff Dunham

  Guy, Seven, Said

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  8 Copy quote

• I started in a business background, but then it was like, 'you know, I can't do math,' so I changed it to a liberal arts degree and got my Bachelor of Arts in Communications and it made sense.

  Jeff Dunham

  Art, Communication, Math

  TheCelebrityCafe.com interview, thecelebritycafe.com. November 23, 2011.

  7 Copy quote

• Even going to college, getting my degree in Radio TV and Film, as I was approaching the time when you have to decide on a major, I kept trying to figure out what would be the best major to enhance what I am doing as a performer.

  Jeff Dunham

  College, Trying, Tvs

  6 Copy quote

• We just got a tour bus. I didn't know tour buses could be this nice. It's just me, Brian Haner the guitar guy, the tour manager and a writer. We laugh ourselves silly. Apparently we're going to have a road dog, a miniature pincher. It's the smallest they've ever seen. How masculine am I going to look, working with dolls and a miniature dog?

  Jeff Dunham

  Dog, Nice, Silly

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  7 Copy quote

• I've got an answer to where Osama bin Laden is and I know, he's dead and living in my suitcase with my dummies.'

  Jeff Dunham

  Answers, Suitcases, Osama Bin Laden

  TheCelebrityCafe.com interview, thecelebritycafe.com. November 23, 2011.

  7 Copy quote

• A lot of my best stuff is just ad libs on stage and that's one thing that I've gotten back to at the live show.

  Jeff Dunham

  Stuff, Stage, Shows

  TheCelebrityCafe.com interview, thecelebritycafe.com. November 23, 2011.

  4 Copy quote

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