It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.
There isn't much to be seen in a little town, but what you hear makes up for it.
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.
I never saw an athletic girl that thought she was strong enough to do indoor work.
Beauty is . . . a valuable asset if you're poor or haven't any sense.
Look out for the people who allow you to do all the talking.
Washing your car and polishing it all up is a never failing sign of rain.
One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before.
If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.
"Why doesn't the fellow who says, "I'm no speechmaker," let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration? "
Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.
An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed
My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands.
A sadder but wiser man is a thousand times more agreeable to meet than the feller that never makes a mistake.
Fashion: a barricade behind which men hide their nothingness.
Executive: a man who makes quick decisions and is sometimes right.
A never-failing way to get rid of a fellow is to tell him something for his own good.
I haven't heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost.
Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.
Of all the unbearable nuisances, the ignoramus that has traveled is the worst.
It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you.
Knowin' all about baseball is just about as profitable as bein' a good whittler.
Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about.
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