The man who says "I may be wrong, but--" does not believe there can be any such possibility.
All the world loves a good loser.
I don't know of anything better than a woman if you want to spend money where it will show.
A sympathizer is a fellow that's for you as long as it doesn't cost anything.
I haven't heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost.
Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count.
We're all self-made men, but not very many of us have stayed on the job.
There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.
In spite of all our speeding it's still the style to be late.
Gossip is vice enjoyed vicariously - the sweet, subtle satisfaction without the risk.
Gittin' talked about is one o' th' penalties for bein' purty, while bein' above suspicion is about th' only compensation fer bein' homely.
Whoever takes just plain ginger ale soon gets drowned out of the conversation.
Another bad thing about "prosperity" is that you can't jingle any money without being under suspicion
It is no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be.
All I kin git out o' the Wickersham position on prohibition is that the distinguished jurist seems to feel that if we'd let 'em have it the problem o' keepin' 'em from gitten;' it would be greatly simplified
After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school.
There's many a slip twixt the blueprints and a new house.
There ought t'be some way t'eat celery so it wouldn't sound like you wuz steppin' on a basket.
It's the good loser who finally loses out.
I will say this for adversity: people seem to be able to stand it, and that is more than I can say for prosperity.
It don't make no difference what is is, a woman'll buy anything she thinks a store is losin' money on.
If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us.
If there's any literary ability in a feller, getting fired out of a good government job will bring it out.
Gittin' talked about is one o' th' penalties for bein' purty.
Who remembers when we used to rest on Sunday instead of Monday?
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