H. L. Mencken Quotes - Page 12

• Nature abhors a moron.

  H. L. Mencken

  Nature, Stupidity, Moron

  H.L. Mencken (2012). “Mencken Chrestomathy”, p.616, Vintage

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• There is, it appears, a conspiracy of scientists afoot. Their purpose is to break down religion, propagate immorality, and so reduce mankind to the level of brutes. They are the sworn and sinister agents of Beelzebub, who yearns to conquer the world, and has his eye especially upon Tennessee.]

  H. L. Mencken

  Eye, Science, Conquer The World

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• Capitalism undoubtedly has certain boils and blotches upon it, but has it as many as government? Has it as many as marriage? Has it as many as religion? I doubt it. It is the only basic institution of modern man that shows any genuine health and vigor.

  H. L. Mencken

  Men, Doubt, Vigor

  American Mercury, Aug. 1928

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• Life without sex might be safer but it would be unbearably dull

  H. L. Mencken

  Sex, Would Be, Dull

  H.L. Mencken (2013). “Second Mencken Chrestomathy”, p.464, Vintage

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• A man of active and resilient mind outwears his friendships just as certainly as he outwears his love affairs, his politics and his epistemology.

  H. L. Mencken

  Men, Mind, His Love

  H.L. Mencken (2012). “Mencken Chrestomathy”, p.16, Vintage

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• Men always try to make virtues of their weaknesses. Fear of death and fear of life both become piety.

  H. L. Mencken

  Fear, Men, Atheism

  H.L. Mencken (2013). “Minority Report”, p.54, Knopf

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• Every step in human progress, from the first feeble stirrings in the abyss of time, has been opposed by the great majority of men. Every valuable thing that has been added to the store of man's possessions has been derided by them when it was new, and destroyed by them when they had the power. They have fought every new truth ever heard of, and they have killed every truth-seeker who got into their hands.

  H. L. Mencken

  Men, Hands, Progress

  "Homo Neanderthalensis Baltimore Sun". "The Impossible Mencken" by H. L. Mencken, June 29, 1925.

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• Man is a natural polygamist: he always has one woman leading him by the nose, and another hanging on to his coattails.

  H. L. Mencken

  Men, Noses, Hanging On

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• Why writers write I do not know. As well ask why a hen lays an egg or why a cow stands patiently while an underprivileged farmer burglarizes her.

  H. L. Mencken

  Writing, Eggs, Hens

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• The best teacher of children, in brief, is one who is essentially childlike.

  H. L. Mencken

  Teacher, Children, Best Teacher

  H. L. Mencken (2009). “Prejudices: Third Series”, p.248, Cosimo, Inc.

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• All of the American's foreign wars have been fought with foes either too weak to resist them or too heavily engaged elsewhere to make more than a half-hearted attempt. The combats with Mexico and Spain were not wars; they were simply lynchings.

  H. L. Mencken

  War, Lynching, Political

  H. L. Mencken (2009). “Prejudices: Third Series”, p.43, Cosimo, Inc.

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• The cosmos is a gigantic flywheel making 10,000 revolutions per minute. Man is a sick fly taking a dizzy ride on it.

  H. L. Mencken

  Freedom, Men, Sick

  Smart Set, Dec. 1920

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• There is nothing worse than an idle hour, with no occupation offering. People who have many such hours are simply animals waiting docilely for death. We all come to that state soon or late. It is the curse of senility.

  H. L. Mencken

  Death, Animal, Offering

  H.L. Mencken (2013). “Minority Report”, p.86, Knopf

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• Skin diseases are something doctors like, the patient neither dies nor gets well.

  H. L. Mencken

  Get Well, Doctors, Skins

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• Unionism, seldom if ever, uses such powers as it has to ensure better work; almost always it devotes a large part of that power to safeguard bad work.

  H. L. Mencken

  Quality, Use, Unionism

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• College football is a game which would be much more interesting if the faculty played instead of the students, and even more interesting if the trustees played. There would be a great increase in broken arms, legs, and necks, and simultaneously an appreciable diminution in the loss to humanity.

  H. L. Mencken

  Football, Humorous, Loss

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• The so-called Philosophy of India is even more blowsy and senseless than the metaphysics of the West. It is at war with everything we know of the workings of the human mind, and with every sound idea formulated by mankind. If it prevailed in the whole modern world we'd still be in the Thirteenth Century; nay, we'd be back among the Egyptians of the pyramid age. Its only coherent contribution to Western thought has been theosophy-and theosophy is as idiotic as Christian Science. It has absolutely nothing to offer a civilized white man.

  H. L. Mencken

  Christian, Philosophy, War

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• The fact is that the average man's love of liberty is nine-tenths imaginary, exactly like his love of sense, justice and truth.

  H. L. Mencken

  Men, Average, Justice

  H.L. Mencken (2013). “Second Mencken Chrestomathy”, p.113, Vintage

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• All the charming and beautiful things, from the Song of Songs, to bouillabaisse, and from the nine Beethoven symphonies to the Martini cocktail, have been given to humanity by men who, when the hour came, turned from tap water to something with color in it, and more in it than mere oxygen and hydrogen.

  H. L. Mencken

  Beautiful, Song, Food

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• As for Lindbergh, another eminent servant of science, all he proved by his gaudy flight across the Atlantic was that God takes care of those who have been so fortunate as to come into the world foolish. Expressing skepticism that adventure does not necessarily contribute to scientific knowledge.

  H. L. Mencken

  Adventure, World, Care

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• Los Angeles: nineteen suburbs in search of a metropolis.

  H. L. Mencken

  Nineteen, Los Angeles, Metropolis

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• There is no possibility whatsoever of reconciling science and theology, at least in Christendom. Either Jesus arose from the dead or He didn't. If he did, then Christianity becomes plausible; if He did not, then it is sheer nonsense. I defy any genuine scientists to say that he believes in the Resurrection, or indeed in any other cardinal dogma of the Christian system.

  H. L. Mencken

  Christian, Jesus, Believe

  H.L. Mencken (2013). “Minority Report”, p.120, Knopf

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• Christian endeavor is notoriously hard on female pulchritude.

  H. L. Mencken

  Christian, Atheism, Female

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• We must be prepared to pay a price for freedom, for no price that is ever asked for it is half the cost of doing without it.

  H. L. Mencken

  Cost, Half, Pay

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• Watching two women kiss is like watching two prizefighters shake hands.

  H. L. Mencken

  Life, Kissing, Hands

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