H. L. Mencken Quotes - Page 9

• I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone.

  H. L. Mencken

  Peace, Freedom, War

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• Socialism: nothing more than the theory that the slave is always more virtuous than his master.

  H. L. Mencken

  Socialism, Slave, Theory

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• We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.

  H. L. Mencken

  Inspirational, Drinking, Knowledge

  "A Mencken chrestomathy". Book by Henry Louis Mencken, 1949.

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• Suppose two-thirds of the members of the national House of Representatives were dumped into the Washington garbage incinerator tomorrow, what would we lose to offset our gain of their salaries and the salaries of their parasites?

  H. L. Mencken

  Two, House, Salary

  H.L. MENCKEN (1958). “PREJUDICES A SELECTION”

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• The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

  H. L. Mencken

  Funny, Laughter, Humorous

  A Little Book in C Major ch. 4 (1916)

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• A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses.

  H. L. Mencken

  Love, Funny Valentines Day, Women

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• The truth is that Christian theology, like every other theology, is not only opposed to the scientific spirit; it is also opposed to all other attempts at rational thinking.

  H. L. Mencken

  Christian, Thinking, Spirit

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• When a private citizen is robbed, a worthy man is deprived of the fruits of his industry and thrift; when the government is robbed, the worst that happens is that certain rogues and loafers have less money to play with than they had before.

  H. L. Mencken

  Men, Play, Citizens

  H.L. Mencken (2012). “Mencken Chrestomathy”, p.147, Vintage

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• Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on.

  H. L. Mencken

  Men, Literature, Shoulders

  H. L. Mencken (2015). “In Defense of Women: Human Sexuality”, p.65, 谷月社

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• Archbishop - A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.

  H. L. Mencken

  Funny, Christian, Humorous

  A Little Book in C Major ch. 4 (1916)

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• It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.

  H. L. Mencken

  Sports, Golf, Gambling

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• Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.

  H. L. Mencken

  Funny, Life, Freedom

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• All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.

  H. L. Mencken

  Funny, Men, Differences

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• Why assume so glibly that the God who presumably created the universe is still running it? It is certainly conceivable that He may have finished it and then turned it over to lesser gods to operate.

  H. L. Mencken

  God, Running, Religious

  H.L. Mencken (2013). “Minority Report”, p.298, Knopf

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• The essence of science is that it is always willing to abandon a given idea, however fundamental it may seem to be, for a better one; the essence of theology is that it holds its truths to be eternal and immutable. To be sure, theology is always yielding a little to the progress of knowledge, and only a Holy Roller in the mountains of Tennessee would dare to preach today what the popes preached in the Thirteenth Century, but this yielding is always done grudgingly, and thus lingers a good while behind the event.

  H. L. Mencken

  Science, Essence, Ideas

  H.L. Mencken (2013). “Minority Report”, p.249, Knopf

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• The liberation of the human mind has never been furthered by dunderheads.

  H. L. Mencken

  Mind, Liberation, Humans

  "Clinical Notes". The American Mercury (January 1924), p. 75; later quoted in H. L. Mencken "Prejudices: Fourth Series", 1924.

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• Politics, as hopeful men practise it in the world, consists mainly of the delusion that a change in form is a change in substance.

  H. L. Mencken

  Men, Hopeful, Substance

  H.L. MENCKEN (1958). “PREJUDICES A SELECTION”

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• The truly civilized man is always skeptical and tolerant, in this field as in all others. His culture is based on 'I am not too sure'.

  H. L. Mencken

  Men, Culture, Fields

  H.L. Mencken (2013). “Minority Report”, p.416, Knopf

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• Never let your inferiors do you a favor - it will be extremely costly.

  H. L. Mencken

  Wise, Work, Advice

  H.L. Mencken (2012). “Mencken Chrestomathy”, p.616, Vintage

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• The truth, indeed, is something that mankind, for some mysterious reason, instinctively dislikes. Every man who tries to tell it is unpopular, and even when, by the sheer strength of his case, he prevails, he is put down as a scoundrel.

  H. L. Mencken

  Men, Trying, Mysterious

  Chicago Tribune, May 23, 1926.

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• No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.

  H. L. Mencken

  Marriage, Flirty, Nice

  "A Mencken Chrestomathy". Book by H. L. Mencken , as quoted in "The New Penguin Dictionary of Modern Quotations" by Robert Andrews (2003), 1949.

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• What ails the truth is that it is mainly uncomfortable, and often dull. The human mind seeks something more amusing, and more caressing.

  H. L. Mencken

  Mind, Dull, Truth Is

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• The only really respectable Protestants are the fundamentalists. Unfortunately, they are also palpable idiots.

  H. L. Mencken

  Superstitions, Belief, Idiot

  H.L. Mencken (2013). “Minority Report”, p.121, Knopf

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• It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean soup, of college yells, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights. It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself up out of the dark abyss of pish and crawls insanely up the topmost pinnacle of posh. It is rumble and bumble. It is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash.

  H. L. Mencken

  Dog, Humor, Dark

  "On Politics: A Carnival of Buncombe". Book by H. L. Mencken, 1956.

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• It is the invariable habit of bureaucracies, at all times and everywhere, to assume...that every citizen is a criminal. Their one apparent purpose, pursued with a relentless and furious diligence, is to convert the assumption into a fact. They hunt endlessly for proofs, and, when proofs are lacking, for mere suspicions. The moment they become aware of a definite citizen, John Doe, seeking what is his right under the law, they begin searching feverishly for an excuse for withholding it from him.

  H. L. Mencken

  Law, Voting, Facts

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