Answering Machines Quotes

• I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.

  Steven Wright

  Communication, Home, Car

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• The woods are lovely, dark, and deep but I have promises to keep...

  Robert Frost

  Tattoo, Running, Taken

  "Stopping byWoods on a Snowy Evening" l. 13 (1923)

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• What I like best about the telephone is that it keeps you in touch with people, particularly people who want to sell you magazine subscriptions in the middle of the night.

  Dave Barry

  Humorous, Night, Phones

  "Dave Barry's Bad Habits". Book by Dave Barry, September 15, 1993.

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• Everyone I talked to was a recording-the bank, the elevator, your office, the school, a wrong number. You used to be able to call a wrong number and get a person.

  Erma Bombeck

  Humorous, School, Wrong Number

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession”, p.26, Open Road Media

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• We've come a long way from having one land line that was forbidden to be answered during dinner. We had no answering machine, just a dad who barked, 'Who calls during dinner? If it's important, they'll call back.' He was right.

  Regina Brett

  Dad, Land, Long

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• Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? 'Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is share the love.' Beep. 'Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.'

  Andy Rooney

  Being Positive, Great Day, Machines

  "Curmudgeon Explains the Throne Speech" by Bill Tieleman, www.straight.com. February 17, 2005.

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• Texting is a lot like an answering machine. If you don't want to talk to somebody, it's like screening your calls. To me, it's a way of communication, but not one that I favor.

  Pat Gillick

  Communication, Machines, Texting

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• The void is ready to snatch you up like a Pac Man machine and Laskshmi is on vacation. You chant Sring - and you get her answering machine.

  Frederick Lenz

  Men, Vacation, Machines

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• My favorite films, I would put my answering machine up to the television set and hit record. I'd tape my favorite movies and then I could go back and listen to them again. I only had the soundtrack, I didn't have the visuals. But I think it made me really pay attention to the soundtracks.

  Mark Mothersbaugh

  Thinking, Tape, Attention

  "SXSW ’12: Mark Mothersbaugh Confirms He’s Scoring ‘Lego,’ Talks Working On Wes Anderson’s ‘Bottle Rocket’ & More" by Drew Taylor, www.indiewire.com. March 14, 2012.

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• It's great to just disappear, grab a suitcase, switch the answering machine on and just go somewhere else.

  Dido Armstrong

  Somewhere Else, Machines, Suitcases

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• I don't even like hearing my own voice on an answering machine.

  China Chow

  Voice, Hearing, Machines

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• As expected, you get his machine. Someday, even the "call of nature" will be answered by a machine.

  Tom Robbins

  Humorous, Phones, Machines

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• Tell me about yourself - your struggles, your dreams, your telephone number.

  Peter Arno

  Dream, Humorous, Struggle

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• I wish I was a phone machine. I wish if I saw somebody on the street I didn't want to talk to I could just go, "Excuse me, I'm not here right now, If you just leave a message, I can walk away."

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Humorous, Phones, Wish

  "Seinfeld". Season 2, Episode 4: "The Phone Message", 1989-1999.

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• Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.

  George Burns

  Humorous, Moving, Kids

  George Burns (1983). “How to Live to be 100--or More: The Ultimate Diet, Sex, and Exercise Book”, Putnam Publishing Group

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• I am absolutely sick unto death of hearing people say - they all say this; it must be Item One on the curriculum in Trend College - "I just hate to talk to a machine!" They say this as though it is a major philosophical position, as opposed to a description of a minor neurosis. My feeling is, if you have a problem like this, you shouldn't go around trumpeting it; you should stay home and practice talking to a machine you can feel comfortable with, such as your Water Pik, until you are ready to assume your place in modern society.

  Dave Barry

  Hate, Philosophical, Humorous

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• Screening telephone calls with a receptionist or the humbler answering machine is not a dishonorable thing to do. The warmest people in the world still need uninterrupted time to attend to their lives and should not be outwitted if they have made it obvious that they are not always available upon summons.

  Judith Martin

  People, Needs, Machines

  3 Copy quote

• It is not rude to turn off your telephone by switching it on to an answering machine, which is cheaper and less disruptive than ripping it out of the wall. Those who are offended because they cannot always get through when they seek, at their own convenience, to barge in on people are suffering from a rude expectation.

  Judith Martin

  Wall, People, Expectations

  Judith Martin (1990). “Miss Manners' Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millennium”, p.282, Simon and Schuster

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• The telephone is the greatest single enemy of scholarship; for what our intellectual forebears used to inscribe in ink now goes once over a wire into permanent oblivion.

  Stephen Jay Gould

  Humorous, Phones, Intellectual

  Stephen Jay Gould (2010). “An Urchin in the Storm: Essays about Books and Ideas”, p.75, W. W. Norton & Company

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• I think people who aren't in film experience that when they hear their voice on an answering machine or something.

  Natalie Portman

  Thinking, Voice, People

  "Natalie Portman talks directing her first movie and why you'll never see her on social media". Interview with Jason Guerrasio, www.businessinsider.com. August 17, 2016.

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• I'm definitely a child of the 21st century and I prefer texting to phone calls, but I would prefer an answering machine over all.

  Brendan Dooling

  Children, Phones, Machines

  Source: www.seventeen.com

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• Like most people, you listen to yourself on the phone or an answering machine and you're like, 'Ugh.' So to do something with just your voice is hard.

  Angelina Jolie

  Phones, Voice, People

  Interview with Jeff Otto, www.ign.com. September 15, 2004.

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• I'm much better at saying something on the answering machine than texting.

  Igor Levit

  Machines, Texting

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

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• I'm not good at texting because I'm an older generation, old school. And nobody ever listens to the answering machine anymore. It's terrible.

  Igor Levit

  School, Generations, Machines

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

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• I remember a few years ago I was sitting at home with my wife watching the Oscars. I was sitting on the couch and suddenly heard my voice. It's thrilling. It's interesting that a lot of guys do me. I have a friend who does me on his answering machine so when I call him I talk to myself. I don't really know what that comes from. It doesn't seem to me that I speak in a strange way. My wife says Kevin's (Spacey) the best.

  Christopher Walken

  Home, Years, Voice

  3 Copy quote