Ass Quotes - Page 34

• I came, I saw, and I KICKED Stone Cold's ASS!

  Vince McMahon

  Wwe, Stones, Saws

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• I don't want to be grotesque, but when you're 330 pounds, it's hard to wipe your a-. You know?

  Mike Tyson

  Boxing, Wipe, Want

  "Tyson reflects on sex, drugs, spirituality". Sports Illustrated Interview, www.si.com. July 28, 2010.

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• If I were 50 years younger, I would kick your ass

  Larry Merchant

  Years, Boxing, Kicks

  "Analyst Larry Merchant to End Run With HBO Boxing After 35 Years" by Jose Martinez, www.complex.com. December 14, 2012.

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• The Nazi signs have got to stop. If you're in a peace march and the guy next to you has a sign saying that 'Bush is Hitler,' forget the peace thing for a second and beat his ass, because he is not Hitler.

  Dennis Miller

  Guy, Politics, Next

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• But this is the kind of ass-clownery that stems from the fact that all philosophy looks weird when you don't have one.

  Jonah Goldberg

  Philosophy, Looks, Politics

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• As to the human race. There are many pretty and winning things about the human race. It is perhaps the poorest of all the inventions of all the gods but it has never suspected it once. There is nothing prettier than its naive and complacent appreciation of itself. It comes out frankly and proclaims without bashfulness or any sign of a blush that it is the noblest work of God. It has had a billion opportunities to know better, but all signs fail with this ass. I could say harsh things about it but I cannot bring myself to do it-it is like hitting a child.

  Mark Twain

  Appreciation, Children, Winning

  Mark Twain, Charles Neider (1987). “The outrageous Mark Twain: some lesser-known but extraordinary works : with "Reflections on religion" now in book form for the first time”, Doubleday Books

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• I may play the fool at times, but I'm more than just a pretty blond boy with an ass that won't quit.

  Charles Macaulay

  Boys, Play, May

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• I'm a woman in a man's job and I don't have the luxury of being an ass.

  Joan Clarke

  Jobs, Men, Luxury

  "Fictional character: Joan Clarke". "The Imitation Game", www.imdb.com. 2014.

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• Talk to them about things they don't know. Try to give them an inferiority complex. If the actress is beautiful, screw her. If she isn't, present her with a valuable painting she will not understand. If they insist on being boring, kick their asses or twist their noses. And that's about all there is to it.

  John Huston

  Beautiful, Giving, Trying

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• The key point about a demonstration is that it must be seen. Hence the term "demonstration." If a person demonstrates privately in his own home, this is not technically a demonstration but merely "acting silly" or "behaving like an ass.

  Woody Allen

  Silly, Home, Keys

  Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

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• There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless. Observe the ass, for instance: his character is about perfect, he is the choicest spirit among all the humbler animals, yet see what ridicule has brought him to. Instead of feeling complimented when we are called an ass, we are left in doubt.

  Mark Twain

  Character, Animal, Perfect

  Pudd'nhead Wilson "A Whisper to the Reader," "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar" (1894)

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• The inquiry in England is not whether a man has talents and genius, but whether he is passive and polite and a virtuous ass and obedient to noblemen's opinions in art and science. If he is, he is a good man. If not, he must be starved.

  William Blake

  Respect, Art, Men

  William Blake (1988). “William Blake”, Oxford University Press, USA

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• I've signed dicks, asses, parole cards, a colostomy bag while it was still pumping. A couple of years ago, I signed a bloody Tampax. That's one you don't forget. I'm not asking for someone to top that!

  John Waters

  Couple, Years, Bags

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• I had rather ride on an ass that carries me than a horse that throws me.

  George Herbert

  Horse, Carrie, Practicality

  George Herbert, Christopher Harvey, George Gilfillan (1857). “The poetical works of George Herbert”, p.300

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• Intellect in its effort to explain Love got stuck in the mud like an ass. Love alone could explain love and loving.

  Rumi

  Love, Effort, Mud

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• And don't think that by eating freedom fries you are being patriotic and helping the war effort. Use less gasoline, read a newspaper. You know what, how about we cool it with the freedom fries anyway you fat asses. We're the fattest country in the world. Have you ever walked around an American mall? It's nothing but chick fillets and Lane Bryant track suits busting at the seams.

  Tina Fey

  Country, War, Patriotic

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• Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.

  Dorothy Parker

  Art, Writing, Kick Ass

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• We be tight like frogs ass.

  The Notorious B.I.G.

  Friendship, Frogs

  Song: Would You Die For Me, Album: Born Again, 1999

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• If you could use your brain like you use your ass.

  Alice Cooper

  Friendship, Brain, Use

  Song: Remarkably Insincere, Album: Zipper Catches Skin, 1982

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• If you want a man that respects the way you think then show more mind than ass.

  David Banner

  Men, Thinking, Mind

  FaceBook post by David Banner from Apr 25, 2015

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• In certain countries, people seem to be think that three asses together make one intelligent person. However, that is completely wrong. Several asses in concreto make the ass in abstracto and that is a most terrifying animal.

  Franz Grillparzer

  Country, Animal, Intelligent

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• The thing is to be brave and move the audience with you, instead of cater to the lowest common denominator, you know, slipping on a banana peel and falling on your ass. You got to move the audience a little further ahead in terms of their appreciation of what is comedy. It's complicated.

  Mel Brooks

  Appreciation, Moving, Fall

  "Mel Brooks on how to play Hitler, and how he almost died making Spaceballs". Interview with Steve Heisler, www.avclub.com. December 13, 2012.

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• These CEOs, man ... If you're that ruthless, you're a scary dude. I tell you, now when I walk past a little gang banger, I don't even blink. But if I see a white dude with a Wall Street Journal, I haul ass. Before I walk past the Arthur Andersen building, I cut through the projects. If you cut through the projects, you may just lose what you have on you that day. I ain't never been mugged of my whole future.

  Wanda Sykes

  Wall, Cutting, Past

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• There's an upside to the digital thing from my point of view because I find that I have access to all this wacky, weird-ass dance-music stuff that I just can't go into a shop and buy on vinyl.

  Thom Yorke

  Views, Stuff, Digital

  Interview with Daniel Craig, www.interviewmagazine.com. June 28, 2013.

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• Everytime I say "sure" when I mean "no," everytime I smile brightly when I'm exploding with rage, every time I imagine my man's achievement is my own, I know the cheerleader never really died. I feel her shaking her ass inside me and I hear her breathless, girlish voice mutter "T-E-A-M, Yea, Team.

  Louise Bernikow

  Team, Mean, Men

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