Ass Quotes - Page 38

• Never use jargon words like 'reconceptualize', 'demassification', 'attitudinally', 'judgmentally'. They are hallmarks of a pretentious ass.

  David Ogilvy

  Use, Jargon, Pretentious

  David Ogilvy (2012). “The Unpublished David Ogilvy”, p.54, Profile Books

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• All I want to do is sit on my ass and fart and think of Dante.

  Samuel Beckett

  Thinking, Want, Fart

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• Above all things, be not made an ass to carry the burdens of other men if any friend desire thee to be his surety, give him a part of what thou has to spare if he presses thee further, he is not thy friend at all.

  Walter Raleigh

  Men, Giving, Desire

  Sir Walter Raleigh (1829). “The Works of Sir Walter Ralegh, Kt: Miscellaneous works”, p.565

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• We probaly in hell already, our dumb asses not knowin, everybody kissin ass to go to heaven aint goin.

  Tupac Shakur

  Heaven, Dumb, Hell

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• You could smell my ass from mars.

  Joe Rogan

  Smell, Mars

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• I had to break up with my last girlfriend for lying about being raped by her neighbor. But I've met her neighbor, he's a cool guy. Not like her other creepy ass neighbor though.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Girlfriend, Lying, Guy

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• If you're ever making a television show, don't cast smart actors because they are just a pain in the ass. The moment you start to bullshit them you've lost them, so you have to either know what you're talking about or when you don't talk to them.

  Ray McKinnon

  Pain, Smart, Talking

  Source: www.indiewire.com

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• I've always wanted to be an action heroine. That's a chick dream, getting to wear a leather bodysuit and be blonde and kick ass.

  Olivia Thirlby

  Dream, Blonde, Action

  Source: collider.com

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• If they [at the audition] don't like the way you sound they won't buy you anyway, ripped dress or no ripped dress, ass hanging out or no ass hanging out.

  Bette Midler

  Sound, Dresses, Way

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

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• A synopsis of every story we do: someone gets over their own stupid ass.

  Kieron Gillen

  Stupid, Stories, Synopsis

  "The Return of the Ultimate Music-Obsessive Comic, Phonogram". Interview with Tom Ewing, pitchfork.com. August 12, 2015.

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• "Yeah, well, if you eat red meat, it stays in your colon for fifteen years!" Good! I paid for it; I want it in my ass, okay? I want them to find a meat sweater from my esophagus to my asshole when they open me up in the end! "This guy's covered in meat! He's Meat-Man! He's Meat-Tracheotomy-Man!"

  Denis Leary

  Funny, Humor, Men

  "Denis Leary: No Cure for Cancer", www.imdb.com. 1993.

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• I'm sorry, was that homophobic? No--I think it was, 'cause I hear that a lot. Dave, What?, You're talking about being gay. You probably secretly are gay. And I'm like listen voice in my head, I'm not! HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT? HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT? I know I wouldn't like it, other scarier voice in my head! 'Cause one time while making a sandwich, a cucumber went up my ass. Three times.

  Dave Attell

  Funny, Sorry, Humor

  "Skanks for the Memories". Comedy album by Dave Attell, 2003.

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• Everyone has ideas. The first step is to learn more about your industry than anyone in the world. Otherwise there is a good chance that the lady that knows it better than you is going to kick your ass. Then you just have to go for it. No excuses. Just work your ass off.

  Mark Cuban

  Ideas, Firsts, Steps

  Interview with Ryan Babikian, elitedaily.com. May 30, 2012.

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• Every woman is multifaceted. Every woman has a switch, whether she's going to be maternal, whether she's going to be a man-eater, whether she has to kick ass, whether she has to be one of the boys, whether she has to show the guys that she's just as smart or smarter, she's just as talented or creative. Women suppress a lot of their sides.

  Nicki Minaj

  Smart, Boys, Men

  Source: www.complex.com

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• Nothing I study makes me think we will survive this century. And yet why am I so happy? Because it's not too late. Just get off your ass and work for revolution.

  Patch Adams

  Thinking, Too Late, Revolution

  Source: www.natureandhealth.com.au

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• If you don't drink 56 bottles of water a week, scientists say you should take a garden hose at the end of the week and shove it up your ass.

  Lewis Black

  Funny, Humor, Garden

  "Rules of Enragement". Comedy album, 2003.

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• I've jammed enough things up my own ass just trying to come on any amphetamine based narcotic.

  Doug Stanhope

  Funny, Humor, Trying

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• No one wants to get their ass beat to a soundtrack.

  Dave Chappelle

  Funny, Humor, Want

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• Home is where your ass is and if you want to move you move your ass the first step is learning to change homes with someone else and have someone else's ass.

  William S. Burroughs

  Moving, Home, Want

  William S. Burroughs (2007). “The Wild Boys: A Book of the Dead”, p.63, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• It's a good time to say "Oh" and take stock and say, "Gee, how was I ethically this year?" That's the problem with faith, Joe. What it does is it kind of screws up your priorities. Your priorities shouldn't be saving your own ass, which is the focus of Christianity. The focus should be, I'm a good person, and I do that just for the sake of being good. Like the Christmas song says, "Be good for goodness' sake."

  Bill Maher

  Song, Years, Focus

  "Scarborough Asks Maher How to End 'Mutually Assured Destruction' of President-Bashing". www.newsbusters.org. January 2, 2010.

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• Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an ass.

  Stephen Hawking

  Jesus, Love You, Thinking

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• There is on earth among all dangers, no more dangerous thing than a richly endowed and adroid reason, especially if she enters into spiritual matters which concern the soul and God. For it is more possible to teach an ass to read than to blind such a reason and lead it right; for reason must be deluded, blinded, and destroyed.

  Martin Luther

  Spiritual, Soul, Earth

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• Be loud, be pretty and keep their black-hatin' asses in their chairs

  Muhammad Ali

  Black, Chairs, Loud

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• I am a fan of whatever makes me laugh my ass off. If it happens to be a Jew joke, then it's a Jew joke.

  Alex Borstein

  Laughing, Fans, Make Me Laugh

  Reddit AMA, www.reddit.com. December 27, 2013.

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• I don't necessarily think of myself as a feminist, but I'm a whole person. I'm not just breasts or ass or thighs - I'm a whole being! And it just seems like women aren't necessarily striving to be the whole of themselves.

  Jill Scott

  Thinking, Feminist, Strive

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

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