Ass Quotes - Page 39

• I'm a facist about spoilers. I'm the biggest pain in the ass to the marketing and promotions department. If I had my way, the commercials would be 30 seconds of black with a few words on them.

  Brian Austin Green

  Pain, Black, Marketing

  Source: www.movieweb.com

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• You can't deny that religion has done some good. It organizes lots of anti-poverty programs and soup kitchens and missionary work. But I would say that, first of all, all those things can be accomplished without religion. You can be ethical, somebody who does the right thing without feeling that he has to in order to get his ass saved in the next life.

  Bill Maher

  Soup Kitchens, Order, Feelings

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• Can an ass be tragic?--To perish under a burden that one can neither bear nor cast off? The case of the philosopher.

  Friedrich Nietzsche

  Philosophical, Bears, Philosopher

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• Do not be inaccessible. None is so perfect that he does not need at times the advice of others. He is an incorrigible ass who will never listen to any one. Even the most surpassing intellect should find a place for friendly counsel. Sovereignty itself must learn to lean. There are some that are incorrigible simply because they are inaccessible: They fall to ruin because none dares to extricate them. The highest should have the door open for friendship; it may prove the gate of help. A friend must be free to advise, and even to upbraid, without feeling embarrassed.

  Baltasar Gracian

  Fall, Should Have, Doors

  Baltasar Gracian (2006). “The Art of Worldly Wisdom”, p.59, Shambhala Publications

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• What are you gonna do for a face when the baboon wants his ass back?

  Abraham Lincoln

  Success, Want, Faces

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• Beauty and virtue: the most kissable ass in the world is no guarantee of good intentions.

  Mason Cooley

  Beauty, Guarantees, World

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• For often at Church I've seen the stained high glass
  Pour out the Virgin and Saints, twist and untwist
  The mortal youth of Christ astride an ass.

  Allen Tate

  Glasses, Church, Twists

  Allen Tate (2014). “Collected Poems, 1919-1976”, p.28, Macmillan

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• Of Ickworth's boys, their father's joys,
  There is but one a bad one;
  The tenth is he, the parson's fee,
  And indeed he is a sad one.
  No love of fame, no sense of shame,
  And a bad heart, let me tell ye:
  Without, all brass; within, all ass,
  And the puppy's name is Felly.

  Horace Walpole

  Father, Heart, Boys

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• I think that in America there is a new movement of underground movies that wants to kick the ass of independent films that they think whine too much.

  John Waters

  Independent, Thinking, America

  Interview with Jonathan Ross, www.theguardian.com. November 17, 1998.

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• I would sooner die of a taipan bite then tell my dad that I got bitten by a taipan. Because my nose would bleed from his kicking my ass.

  Steve Irwin

  Dad, Kicking, Noses

  Source: www.reptilesmagazine.com

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• I like those blow-up beds. "This becomes a full size bed in three minutes!" Well, a mattress kicks your ass. Zero seconds. "Yeah, but you can store this thing." You can store a bed, too - in the bedroom.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Zero, Humor

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• Whatever you do, stay focused. Because any stuff is not going to last forever. Once you get a show at something, you gotta roll with it. You can't sit on your ass. You better keep working. You better stay motivated.

  Juicy J

  Forever, Stuff, Lasts

  Source: brightestyoungthings.com

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• THE ONLY GOOD THING IS MY FANS LIKE ME AND COME TO SEE ME AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. EVERYBODY ELSE CAN KISS MY ASS. IF THEY DONT LIKE MY POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS THEN THEY CAN KEEP THEIR UPTIGHT P C ASS AWAY FROM MY SHOW. ITS THAT EASY.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Kissing, Political, Fans

  Source: www.dead-frog.com

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• It is never appropriate to comment on a woman's breasts. I would never do it on the street or at a supermarket, but when I'm sitting a table signing books, sometimes I notice that a woman will have remarkable breasts. And I will maybe quietly say something about it. It's not in a sexual way, because I'm a gay man - I would never say to a man "great ass" because that would be sort of creepy.. I hope it's not creepy to quietly tell a woman she has nice breasts.

  David Sedaris

  Nice, Book, Gay

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• I'm not in a recession. I'm doing very, very well. I'm doing incredibly well. I just want to be honest. I really am kicking ass.

  Jim Carrey

  Kicking, Want, Honest

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• It's always fun to do something that you know ultimately is not about the money, and it's certainly not for the fame - because it's a pain in the ass. But it's really the person in the theater seat you think about when you sit in a room and write.

  Jim Carrey

  Fun, Pain, Writing

  "Jim Carrey Interview: Yes Man". Interview with Cole Haddon, www.mtv.com. December 18, 2008.

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• Nothing I study makes me think we will survive this century. And yet why am I so happy? Because it's not too late. Just get off your ass and work for revolution.

  Patch Adams

  Thinking, Too Late, Revolution

  Source: www.natureandhealth.com.au

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• Every woman is multifaceted. Every woman has a switch, whether she's going to be maternal, whether she's going to be a man-eater, whether she has to kick ass, whether she has to be one of the boys, whether she has to show the guys that she's just as smart or smarter, she's just as talented or creative. Women suppress a lot of their sides.

  Nicki Minaj

  Smart, Boys, Men

  Source: www.complex.com

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• Business is a sport and I want to win. I want to kick your ass. I may not win every game. But I certainly am going to try.

  Mark Cuban

  Sports, Winning, Games

  Interview with Ryan Babikian, elitedaily.com. May 30, 2012.

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• Everyone has ideas. The first step is to learn more about your industry than anyone in the world. Otherwise there is a good chance that the lady that knows it better than you is going to kick your ass. Then you just have to go for it. No excuses. Just work your ass off.

  Mark Cuban

  Ideas, Firsts, Steps

  Interview with Ryan Babikian, elitedaily.com. May 30, 2012.

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• I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.

  Bo Burnham

  Funny, Humor, Giants

  Song: Bo' Fo' Sho', Album: Bo Fo Sho

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• I'm sorry, was that homophobic? No--I think it was, 'cause I hear that a lot. Dave, What?, You're talking about being gay. You probably secretly are gay. And I'm like listen voice in my head, I'm not! HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT? HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT? I know I wouldn't like it, other scarier voice in my head! 'Cause one time while making a sandwich, a cucumber went up my ass. Three times.

  Dave Attell

  Funny, Sorry, Humor

  "Skanks for the Memories". Comedy album by Dave Attell, 2003.

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• "Yeah, well, if you eat red meat, it stays in your colon for fifteen years!" Good! I paid for it; I want it in my ass, okay? I want them to find a meat sweater from my esophagus to my asshole when they open me up in the end! "This guy's covered in meat! He's Meat-Man! He's Meat-Tracheotomy-Man!"

  Denis Leary

  Funny, Humor, Men

  "Denis Leary: No Cure for Cancer", www.imdb.com. 1993.

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• I've jammed enough things up my own ass just trying to come on any amphetamine based narcotic.

  Doug Stanhope

  Funny, Humor, Trying

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• If you don't drink 56 bottles of water a week, scientists say you should take a garden hose at the end of the week and shove it up your ass.

  Lewis Black

  Funny, Humor, Garden

  "Rules of Enragement". Comedy album, 2003.

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