Condom Quotes - Page 4

• Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night.

  J. B. Smoove

  Girl, Night, Blame

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• I know the Pope is opposed to the use of condoms. All I can say is, I am a spiritual man and I've been happily married for 21 years. I don't even know what a condom is anymore.

  Tom Hanks

  Spiritual, Men, Years

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• I think it's important for those of us in a position of responsibility to be firm in sharing our experiences, to understand that the babies out of wedlock is a very difficult chore for mom and baby alike... I believe we ought to say there is a different alternative than the culture that is proposed by people like Miss Wolf in society... And, you know, hopefully, condoms will work, but it hasn't worked.

  George W. Bush

  Mom, Baby, Believe

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• An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom; it just doesn't work.

  Rita Rudner

  Divorce

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• Nothing ruins the mood during foreplay more than the recurring image of your sixty-five-year-old homeroom teacher trying to stretch a condom over a cucumber.

  Dennis Miller

  Teacher, Years, Trying

  Dennis Miller (2011). “Ranting Again”, p.14, Main Street Books

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• That is supposed to be the rallying cry of women in the age of AIDS: no condom, no sex. But the dirty little secret is that the rallying cry is a whisper.... The great unspoken on the heterosexual AIDS front has been how behavior is still determined by the old psychosexual minuet of the sexes, the lack of responsibility in young men and of assertiveness in young women.

  Anna Quindlen

  Sex, Dirty, Responsibility

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• The first time my mom found condoms in my room, she literally started crying hysterically.

  Jason Segel

  Mom, Rooms, Firsts

  Source: www.elle.com

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• I don't wear no condom and I don't plan for no kids.

  Bill Cosby

  Kids, Plans

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• I have a couple of 'doing caps' in my wallet. That's what I call condoms.

  Aziz Ansari

  Couple, Caps, Wallets

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• I've heard the sound of 70 condoms being scraped over the floor at the British Museum. It feels like being an adventurer. Why would you stay in your living room if you could go out and experience things no one's ever experienced?

  Herbert

  Museums, Sound, Rooms

  Interview with Nitsuh Abebe, pitchfork.com. November 10, 2008.

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• Civilization is drugs, alcohol, engines of war, prostitution, machines and machine slaves, low wages, bad food, bad taste, prisons, reformatories, lunatic asylums, divorce, perversion, brutal sports, suicides, infanticide, cinema, quackery, demagogy, strikes, lockouts, revolutions, putsches, colonization, electric chairs, guillotines, sabotage, floods, famine, disease, gangsters, money barons, horse racing, fashion shows, poodle dogs, chow dogs, Siamese cats, condoms, peccaries, syphilis, gonorrhea, insanity, neuroses, etc., etc.

  Henry Miller

  Sports, Suicide, Fashion

  Henry Miller (1961). “The Cosmological Eye”, p.177, New Directions Publishing

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• Missionaries in the developing world waste a lot of time and money (not to mention the goodwill of non-Christians) proselytizing to the needy. . . . While missionaries do many noble things at great risk to themselves, their dogmatism still spreads ignorance and death. By contrast, volunteers for secular organizations . . . do not waste . . . time telling people about the virgin birth of Jesus. Nor do they tell people in sub-Saharan Africa - where nearly four million people die from AIDS every year - that condom use is sinful.

  Sam Harris

  Christian, Jesus, Ignorance

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• I would think that if you understood what sex education is, you would get down on your knees and worship a condom.

  Jane Fonda

  Sex, Thinking, Knees

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• I carry condoms in my purse, even though I haven't had sex in a long time. I'm hoping for luck! And I carry them so I can give them to other people who might want or need them, or who might want to have a conversation.

  Sharon Stone

  Sex, Long, People

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• Now, this is where I draw the line! It's bad enough everybody in town's going to be thinkin' I'm sleeping with a depressed, lice-ridden, hemorrhoidal foreigner who likes to be tied up and might be pregnant, although-since she's just about cornered the market on condoms-I don't know how that could have happened. But I will not-you listen to me, Emma!-I absolutely will not have anybody thinkin' a woman of mine needs a vaginal moisturizer, do you hear me?

  Susan Elizabeth Phillips

  Sleep, Needs, Lice

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• We tilt our heads back and open wide. The snow drifts into our zombie mouths crawling with grease and curses and tobacco flakes and cavities and boyfriend/girlfriend juice, the stain of lies. For one moment we are not failed tests and broken condoms and cheating on essays; we are crayons and lunch boxes and swinging so high our sneakers punch holes in the clouds. For one breath everything feels better. Then it melts. The bus drivers rev their engines and the ice cloud shatters. Everyone shuffles forward. They don't know what just happened. They can't remember.

  Laurie Halse Anderson

  Cheating, Girlfriend, Lying

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• Jim eyed me for a couple of seconds, then got off the bed and went to curl up on the pile of blankets I'd arranged as its bed. "I don't suppose you'd care to lend me a couple hundred euros?" I pointed at the wall. It turned its back to me so I could get into the nightgown Perdita had lent me. "You are not going to bet on me. Or against me. No betting whatsoever. Got that?" Jim huffed and settled down for the night. "You sure do know how to take all the fun out of life. Bet you even made Drake use a condom.

  Katie MacAlister

  Wall, Couple, Fun

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• I brought a condom," I tell her when I slide her panties down. We're both hot and sweaty, and I can't resist hr anymore. "I did, too," she whispers against my neck. "But we might not be able to use it." "Why not?" I expect her to tell em this was all a mistake, that she really didn't mean to get me all hot and bothered just to tell me I'm not worthy enough to take her virginity, but it's the truth. She clears her throat. "It all d-d-depends on whether or not you're allergic to l-l-latex.

  Simone Elkeles

  Mistake, Mean, Slides

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• Logan, why aren't you wearing protection?" The radio crackled, and then came Logan's voice. "I have 'protection' in my bag," he said. "But as much as I don't want to say this, darlin', now's not the time to be asking if I'm carrying condoms. I have problems." "A life vest, Logan! I'm asking where's your life vest!" "Oh," he said. "I knew that.

  Jill Shalvis

  Voice, Bags, Asking

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• Have you ever heard of a condom? Don't Carpathians have condoms? Because I'm thinking that if you're all that worried, a condom might be just the thing." His smile was slow in coming. "I had not thought of that. As a rule Carpathians do not need such things.

  Christine Feehan

  Thinking, Needs, Might

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• They’ll have to eat first. And by the time they’re finished, you’ll be back.” “With the condoms.” “Right.” “For the giant orgy you’re convinced we’re about to have in the backyard.” “Dory! Just go!” “I’ll go with,” Ray said, getting up. “I need a snack.” Which was how I ended up condom shopping with a vampire.

  Karen Chance

  Snacks, Shopping, Vampire

  Karen Chance (2012). “Fury's Kiss: A Midnight's Daughter Novel”, p.108, Penguin

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• Rick Santorum doesn't like sex. He doesn't like the pill. He really doesn't like condoms. He said if men are going to pull something on to prevent procreation, nothing works better that a sweater vest.

  Bill Maher

  Sex, Men, Sweaters

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• Condoms will break, but I can assure you that vows of abstinence will break more easily than condoms.

  Joycelyn Elders

  Abstinence, Vow, Break

  "Dr. Joycelyn Elders Is So Fucking Cool" by Kate Harding, June 03, 2007.

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• Me? I like wearing a condom. It means I'm having sex. I already spend most of my time NOT wearing one. It's like a tuxedo - I enjoy putting one on for special occasions.

  David Mazzucchelli

  Sex, Mean, Special

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• Football is being used as a language in that project...The vital message being communicated to the boys and young men is about safe sex, the use of condoms and preventing the spread of HIV/AIDS.

  Roger Moore

  Football, Sex, Boys

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